Grandpa... maybe you could come back and read it to me again tomorrow?
As you wish.
Inigo Montoya
Mandy Patinkin · 28 quotes
Westley
Cary Elwes · 27 quotes
Buttercup
18 quotes
Vizzini
Wallace Shawn · 17 quotes
Fezzik
André Roussimoff · 14 quotes
Man in Black
14 quotes
Prince Humperdinck
Chris Sarandon · 12 quotes
Count Rugen
Christopher Guest · 10 quotes
Miracle Max
Billy Crystal · 7 quotes
Grandpa
6 quotes
Grandson
Fred Savage · 6 quotes
Grandfather
Peter Falk · 3 quotes
Valerie
Carol Kane · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Westley & Buttercup (7), Inigo Montoya & Man in Black (6), Inigo Montoya & Fezzik (6)
The Princess Bride quotes
Page 2 of 8Has it got any sports in it?
Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!
Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
[sarcastically]
Oh, well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
[appears with Count Rugen]
She has been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.
Of course.
The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Buttercup and Humperdinck were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen.
My father's final words were...
Hold it! Hold it! Grandpa, you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Humperdinck, she marries Westley. I'm just sure of it. After all that Westley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.
I'm telling you, you're messing up the story! Now get it right!
Do you want me to go on with this?
Yes.
All right, then, no more interruptions. At noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen.
Hello there. [The Man In Black glances up and grunts] Slow going?
Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Sorry.
Thank you.
[A moment passes. Inigo returns to the edge.]
I do not suppose you could speed things up?
If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
I could do that. I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
That does put a damper on our relationship.
But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Is there any way you'll trust me?
Nothing comes to mind.
[seriously]
I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Do you always begin conversations this way?
My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.
[The Man in Black holds up his hand, revealing only five fingers.]
He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done. [unsheaths his sword and hands it to the Man in Black]
[examines the sword with admiration]
I have never seen its equal. [hands it back to Inigo]
The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. Six-fingered man leave me alive, but he gave me this. [points to a scar on first one cheek, then the other]
How old were you?
I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
You've done nothing but study swordplay?
More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
[standing up after a pause in the conversation]
Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.
You are ready, then?
Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, eh?
I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
Naturally you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
[pushes the Man in Black off a shelf onto lower ground]
Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa, which I have! [jumps and flips over the Man in Black]
You are wonderful!
Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
I admit it. You are better than I am.
Then why are you smiling?
Because I know something you don't know.
And what is that?
I am not left-handed! [switches to fighting with his right hand]
[The two continue to fight, until the Man in Black is backed against the cliff edge]
You're amazing!
I ought to be, after twenty years.
There's something I ought to tell you.
Tell me.
I'm not left-handed either. [switches his sword to his right hand]
You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long. Now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
What is that you're ripping?
It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
Who's Guilder?
The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin. [slaps the horse's rump] Go! Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
You never said anything about killing anyone.
I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips!? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!
I agree with Fezzik.
Oh, the sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this. Never forget this! [to Inigo] When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy! [to Fezzik] And you! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland!?
See, there's a big difference between mostly dead, and all dead. Now, mostly dead: he's slightly alive. All dead, well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.
What's that?
Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
You got any money?
Sixty-five.
Seesh. I never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause.
This is noble, sir. His wife is... crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.
I need him to help avenge my father. Murdered these 20 years.
Your first story was better.
Your first story was better. Where's that bellows cram? He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I'll ask him.
He's dead, he can't talk.
Woo hoo-hoo, look who knows so much, huh? Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only "mostly dead." There's a big difference between "mostly dead" and "all dead." Please, open his mouth. [Inigo opens Wesley's mouth, to put the bellows in] Now, "mostly dead" is slightly alive. [starts pumping air through the bellows] Now, "all dead"...well, with "all dead", there's usually only one thing you can do.
What's that?
Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
For the last time, surrender!
Death first!!
Prince Humperdinck and Westley
What was that?
Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die. [to Fezzik, pointing to Buttercup] You, carry her. [to Inigo] We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.
I want to duel him left-handed.
You know what a hurry we're in!
Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right — tch — over too quickly.
Oh, have it your way.
You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
[Buttercup stares at him incredulously.]
I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.