Ever been bitch slapped?
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Jim Carrey · 51 quotes
Irene P. Waters
Renée Zellweger · 14 quotes
Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonte Jr.
9 quotes
Jamaal
Anthony Anderson · 7 quotes
Shonte Jr.
Tony Cox · 6 quotes
Narrator
Rex Allen Jr. · 3 quotes
Lieutenant Gerke
Chris Cooper · 2 quotes
Officer Stubie
Mike Cerrone · 2 quotes
Agent Boshane
Richard Jenkins · 1 quote
Mr. Murphy the disabled guy
Ezra Buzzington · 1 quote
Plane towed banner
1 quote
Most scenes together: Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans & Irene P. Waters (13), Jamaal & Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonte Jr. (6), Shonte Jr. & Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonte Jr. (4)
Me, Myself & Irene quotes
Page 4 of 5Had enough? Up yours.
Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. Would you like to see my weasel?
I got no beef with you. This is between me and the kid.
I'm not leaving till the morning, but you know the rules when I go: no bitches after eleven.
I've seen it first-hand; the guy's nuttier than squirrel turds!
Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.
Man, how the hell can they call Pluto a planet?! No mother**** planet has an elliptical orbit! This shit don't make no sense!
That was me. Yeah, big deal. The guy's got his glassjaw.
This is my body! Do you understand that? I'm calling the shots from now on, Hank. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. If you back down from something this important, you're nothing at all. YOU'RE NOTHING AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Wanna start me up? Open the choke and pull the cord down. I'm due for Seismic event and you're dancing the fault line.
We just got a report that he put six bullets into a prize cow's head. Poor thing's lucky to be alive. [Charlie's sons look at each other; Lee Harvey raises an eyebrow]
Well looky here, it's a human Q-tip.
Will you marry me, bitch?
Yeah, she's pretty much screwed. Come on, I'll buy you a beer.