Matthew Lillard movie quotes

View Quote Oh Cyrus, you crazy son of a bitch. What did you do?

View Quote I'm getting my ass out of the big glass house!

View Quote In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a freak! I get within 10 feet of anything dead, and I go into seizures. I touch anyone and a whole lifetime of shit just flashes in front of my eyes! So yeah, I'm a little depraved!

View Quote [to Daphne] Like, Scoob and me don't do castles. Because castles have paintings with eyes that watch you, Suits of Armor you think's a statue, but there's a guy inside who follows you every time you turn around. [Scooby shows Daphne what Shaggy actually means]

View Quote Scooby Doo, where are you?

View Quote Like, dude. [Scrappy: What?!] You're a bad puppy! [moves the pincer to rip the Daemon Ritus from Scrappy's chest to free the rest of the protoplasms]

View Quote FYI man, alright. You could sit at home, and do like absolutely nothing, and your name goes through like 17 computers a day. 1984? Yeah right, man. That's a typo. Orwell is here now. He's livin' large. We have no names, man. No names. We are nameless!

View Quote It's universally stupid, man!

View Quote Yo....I kinda feel like God!

View Quote [At the hospital, the phone rings. Sam answers it]
Sam: Hello?
Ghostface: Hello, Samantha.
Sam: Who is this?
Ghostface: Someone who knows your little family secret.
Sam: You're the f**k who hurt my sister.
Ghostface: Oh, she's not the only one I'm gonna hurt. I had to get you to come back here somehow, didn't I?
Sam: You wanna f**k with me, asshole? I'm right here. Come and get me!
Ghostface: With pleasure! [Reveals himself and attacks Sam]

View Quote [While driving in her police car, Judy Hicks answers a call from her ringing cell phone]
Judy Hicks: Sheriff Hicks.
Ghostface: Hello, Sheriff Judy.
Judy Hicks: Who is this?
Ghostface: I think you know. I'm a fan of scary movies and knives. What's your favorite scary movie?
Judy Hicks: I prefer animated films and musicals. Why are you doing this?
Ghostface: I'll tell you all about it. I'm going to turn myself in.
Judy Hicks: That's a great idea.
Ghostface: We'll sit down at the station, and I'll tell you all about the two people I've killed.
Judy Hicks: You've only killed one person.
Ghostface: [Chuckles] By the time I see you, I'll have gutted your baby boy.
[Judy's eyes widen, and she immediately turns on the siren and begins driving back to her house. She tries to call her son Wes, but Wes is in the shower and doesn't hear her ringing]
Judy Hicks: [Calling for backup] This is Sheriff Hicks! I need units to converge on my house ASAP!
[The cell phone rings again. Judy answers it]
Ghostface: Can't get him on the phone, can you? He must be busy.
Judy Hicks: How do I know you're anywhere near him?
Ghostface: You ever seen the movie Psycho?
Judy Hicks: [Starting to get tearful] Please...don't hurt my boy.
Ghostface: Why not?
Judy Hicks: He's a good kid.
Ghostface: Is he now?
Judy Hicks: He'd never hurt anyone!
Ghostface: That's not enough.
Judy Hicks: Please! I'll do anything!
Ghostface: You're not gonna make it in time, Sheriff Judy.

View Quote [Ghostface is pursuing Tara at the hospital. While doing this, he notices an unconscious Richie's cell phone ringing. Ghostface turns on his voice changer and answers the call]
Sam: Richie! Are you at the hospital?
Ghostface: Hello, Samantha. Richie can't come to the phone right now. He's finding out what happens to people who stick their noses in a business that doesn't concern them.
Sam: Please don't hurt him.
Ghostface: I'll tell you what. You can choose. I'll only kill one.
Sam: What? What? Tara!
Ghostface: Who do you want to hear die?
Sam: No, please! I'm begging you! Please don't hurt them!
Ghostface: Really? You can't save your own sister? All you have to do is say, "Kill Richie". [Knocks Tara off her wheelchair]
Sam: Tara! Don't hurt her! Please! Please! Please! I'm begging you!
Ghostface: Or say, "Kill Tara". And I'll make sure to hit all the organs I missed last time.
Tara: F**k you!
Sam: I'm begging you, please don't hurt her.
Ghostface: Last chance to save one. Choose!
Sam: Why are you doing this?
Ghostface: You want to know why, Sam? Maybe it's because you're a selfish b*tch who can't even make a decision to save the life of someone you love. Maybe you're too weak for this franchise.
Sam: Maybe you're right. Or maybe I'm just stalling for time, f**khead!
[Sam and Dewey arrive and Dewey shoots, forcing Ghostface to flee]

View Quote Chip: Tell me the truth, Mom. Really, it's okay with me. Are you a serial killer?
Beverly: Chip, the only serial I know anything about is Rice Krispies!

View Quote Chip: So happy I could shit.
Beverly: Chip! You know how I hate the brown word.

View Quote Chip: Is there a killer loose?!
Detective Pike: No son, nothing that exciting.

View Quote Matthew: What would you do?
Luke: I'd keep both of them and hope they don't find out about each other.
Matthew: [laughs] Asshole!

View Quote Matthew: I'm going to China tonight, I'm practically engaged-- do I need to remind you?
Luke: The lies we tell ourselves.

View Quote Luke: So she had the same name, same perfume, same shoe size. That’s so hot. Or, or maybe that’s just creepy.
Matthew: I think it’s a little bit of both, actually.

View Quote [Sidney is walking around her empty diner when her cell phone rings. She answers it]
Sidney Prescott: Hello?
Ghostface: Hello, Sidney. Guess who. Did you miss me? I see you found a new town to live in. It reminds me a lot of where we grew up.
Sidney Prescott: [unbothered] Oh, do we know each other?
Ghostface: We sure do. In fact, I was just in Woodsboro last night. Things got a little...heated. But I’m here in Pine Grove now.
Sidney Prescott: Yeah? What brings you here?
Ghostface: You, Sidney. You were missed in New York. It’s not the same without you. I guess you couldn’t be bothered now that you’re so busy with a husband and family.
Sidney Prescott: Well, you sure know a lot about me for another asshole hiding behind a fake number and a voice changer.
Ghostface: Oh, I’m not hiding, Sidney. Not this time.
[Sidney's phone beeps, sending a video call. Sidney accepts the call and puts it on her computer screen. A video message turns on, revealing a heavily-scarred Stu Macher standing behind a building and smiling]
Stu Macher: Surprise, Sidney! Do you need a minute? Oh, my gosh, it looks like you need a minute. I'll wait.
Sidney Prescott: [initially stunned, but scoffs] Nice try. Stu Macher is dead.
Stu Macher: [mimics being offended] Oh, gosh. I'm gonna agree to disagree with you there. [Laughs] Oh, my God! It is so good to see you. I always had a thing for you, Sid! [Giggles] It's gonna be so much fun, just like the old days, except now there's no Billy or Randy or Tatum. Speaking of whom, your daughter, her name's Tatum. That is so adorable. I mean, it's a little weird or whatever, but it's super-cute. And she is...so pretty.
Sidney Prescott: Do not talk about my daughter.
Stu Macher: Oh, okay. Yeah, I, I should definitely tell you, though, I am currently outside of her high school theater.
Sidney Prescott: [stunned upon hearing that] Don't you **** dare!
Stu Macher: [makes a fierce expression] It's showtime, bitch.

View Quote [While Sidney and Gale are talking about the current situation, Sidney's cell phone rings. They answer it, and another video message from Stu Macher plays]
Stu Macher: Oh, slap my face! If it isn't the Gale Weathers! Hi. Oh, my God, I am so sorry your show got cancelled and then you got fired.
Gale Weathers: I wasn't fired. My contract wasn't renewed.
Stu Macher: [smiling] So don't care. Not even a little.
Gale Weathers: [sarcastically] I'm so sorry for running over your friend.
Sidney Prescott: Can't do your own dirty work, Stu?
Stu Macher: [mocks Sidney in a mumbling sound] Neither can you. You brought in some old, irrelevant hag for backup. It’s so sad. And what happened to the two of you? You both had so much spunk.
Gale Weathers: You're gonna die, you A.I. asshole.
Stu Macher: We're gonna see how fake I am when I stab you in the **** throat! Because I'm coming for you, and I'm gonna love every second of it. [Chuckles and ends the call]

View Quote [During a break in the middle of a televised interview between Sidney and Gale, Sidney's cell phone rings, and Sidney answers it to reveal another video call from Stu]
Stu Macher: Aw, Sid. Do you need a hug? [Mimics crying]
Sidney Prescott: We've been waiting for you.
Stu Macher: Why? So I can stay on the phone long enough for you to trace the call?
Gale Weathers: Yes, dumbass, or you could just tell us where you are.
Stu Macher: Great. I'm at Parker's Tavern...with your daughter.
Sidney Prescott: My daughter's not at Parker's.
Stu Macher: Well, she's definitely not at home. [Chuckles] She's a bad bitch. I'm gonna punish her. [Ends the call]

View Quote It's not about disrespect, it's just gas.

View Quote You didn't really think I'd leave for All-Star "Road Rules" and still be dating you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.