I'm sorry, dude. Look, ah, I'd love to help you out, you look like a really nice guy. It's just we're not detectives any more.
M Man
Oh, no. I've been sent by my employer, Mr. Emile Mondavarious, to invite you to his world-famous amusement park, Spooky Island.
Oh, we don't go near any place with "spooky," "haunted," "forbidden," or "creepy" in the name.
Right, or "hydrocolonic," but that's for a whole different reason, man. [starts to walk away]
M Man
[starts after Shaggy]
Mr. Mondavarious would like you to solve a mystery. He'll pay you a fee of ten thousand American dollars.
Yeah, it's just materialism's not really our bag, man.
M Man
He'll provide you with free air fare?
M Man
And...all you can eat. [Shaggy smiles dreamily]
[in disbelief]
All you can eat? [falls over]
[in flashback; while in Mystery Machine van, Scrappy-Doo enters]
Scrappy-Dappy-Doo!
Ghosts don't stand a chance with me. Let me at 'em! I'll rack 'em! I'll sock 'em!
Scrappy, for the thousandth time, there's no such thing as ghosts.
Sure, there are. And when I find them, I'll give them a dose of puppy power! [starts peeing on Daphne] Ta-da!
[gasps; disgusted]
Oh, god! He's peeing on me!
[Fred applies his brakes to Mystery Machine van, Scrappy faceplants into the window.] [voiceover]
That little egomaniac had flipped his lid.
[angrily]
Scrappy, I told you, no urinating on Daphne!
[angrily]
You were marking your territory!
You don't have the scrote for this job, pally! Now listen up, losers. The time has come to appoint me your unquestioned leader. Either that, or I'm outta here!
[while they look at each other]
Hmm...
What's the idea? [gets kicked off the Mystery Machine van, rolls away] You can't do this to me! People adore me! [kicks the suitcase] Ow! I’m as cute as a Powerpuff Girl. I'll get my own TV show.
[Scooby and Shaggy sit in the dining room of the Spooky Hotel]
How groovy is this, man? Spooky Island finally came through with its all-you-can-eat deal. And there's nobody I'd rather gorge myself with than you, Scooby-Doo.
You're my best friend, buddy. And you're beautiful like a beautiful piece of pizza. [Shaggy eats a piece of pizza with a hot pepper on it. He gulps it then spits it out as Scooby chuckles] Zoinks! These peppers are, like, hot!
Wimp? Do you think you could handle it? Then why don't you put your mouth where your mouth is?
[Shaggy pushes a jar of hot peppers toward Scooby, who picks it up and sniffs the peppers]
OK.
[He gulps all of the peppers down his mouth, puts the jar down, and sighs]
Huh?
[Scooby twitches]
Scooby, are you feeling OK?
[Scooby screams as smoke huffs out of his ears]
Oh, no!!!!
W Waitress
[as Scooby grabs a jug of water from her platter]
Hey!
[Scooby gulps the water. He grabs a plate from a waiter's tray and fans his tongue with it. People start to watch as he then repeatedly bangs his head on it, leaving each dent from his face]
Here you go, dude! [Shaggy grabs a bottle of ketchup. He pulls out Scooby's tongue from his mouth and squirts ketchup on it. As Shaggy lets his tongue go, Scooby sighs with relief] Like, how'd that taste, man?
Well, garcon, let's get two more! [Shaggy grabs two jars of hot peppers, one for him and one for Scooby. They take off the lids and clink them together] On the count of 3.
1… 2… 3!
[Just as they gulp down the peppers and scream, smoke wafts out of the eyes of the modeled tiki at the hotel entrance outside]
A Announcer
[The trailer starts with the Warner Bros. Pictures logo, which is tinted blue and a little wavy too. The shield then transforms into a full moon which ripples as if reflecting on a lake as a thunderstorm is heard. The camera pans up to a mansion with bats flying around]
Throughout the ages, there has been one hero standing watch over us all.
A Announcer
[The camera quickly zooms in and pans to an open window toward an upper level]
One hero protecting mankind wherever he is needed.
A Announcer
[The camera then moves toward the top of some stairs]
He moves in the shadows. Cloaked in mystery.
A Announcer
[The camera quickly zooms down the stairs to a room with a globe]
And now, in the summer of 2002, he will be called upon yet again to save the world.
[The camera then pans over to a window which turns out to be a silhouette of Batman as lightning flashes outside. A record scratch is heard when the camera turns to reveal none other than Scooby-Doo looking out the window. Scooby turns to the viewers]
Who, me? Uh-uh.
[The view transitions to a green -like background as text saying "2002" and "The New Doo" appear then zoom away. The film's title zooms out, along with more text saying, "June 14". The view fades to black as the film's U.R.L. and the Warner Bros. Pictures print logo appear for a few seconds, along with the website "www.scoobydoo.com", then fade away]
Brad Carol! Hey Carol, how's the island?
Carol [with an angry tone]
Are you tricking on me?
Brad Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three--
Carol [suddenly lifts up Brad in air]
Back off my grill, son.
Brad [screaming in pure terror while Mystery Inc. gets shocked]
CAROL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
[She throws Brad in front of Mystery Inc. and Mondavarious, then walks away with the other kids; Brad crawls away in fright]
I'm terrified. And if the young people come off the barge, the people I love the most, they are in danger.
I'm gonna solve this one first.
Not before I solve it first.
You guys are gonna look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.
Some plan. That ghost pawed me for an hour and a half.
Daph, look, it's not our fault that you always get kidnapped.
I do not always get kidnapped. I can't believe you'd say that to me.
Oh, please. You come with your own ransom note. [Daphne steals her glasses] Hey, my glasses!
[feels Fred's shoes and starts choking Fred]
I'm gonna kill you, Daphne!
[pushes Velma off]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [checks his ascot] Watch the ascot!
Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. [Daphne hands Velma's glasses and Velma snatches them back] I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana. Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble-gum-flavored ice cream, and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.
That sounds pretty good, doesn't it, Scoob?
You know what, Shaggy. You've really put it into perspective for me.
No way. You-you can't quit. I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds. And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl.
Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!
Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, you guys, don't do this. Please, don't go.
No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.
I guess we'll all just do what we do best, Scoob.
M Man
I've been sent by my employer, Mr. Emile Mondavarious, to invite you to his world-famous amusement park, Spooky Island.
Oh, we don't go near any place with "spooky," "haunted," "forbidden," or "creepy" in the name.
Right, or "hydrocolonic," but that's for a whole different reason, man.
R Reporter
Pam, any comments for us?
Pamela This is a victory for any celebrity who wants to make a quality, ecologically-friendly action figure.
R Reporter
Fred, what's the secret of your success?
Teamwork. I do a tremendous amount of teamwork... and I always have a plan. Come on.
[dejected]
Yeah, my plan.
I knew from the beginning there was never a phantom. The Luna Ghost is, in fact...
E Everyone
[Fred unmasks the Luna ghost]
Old Man Smithers?
Pamela The creepy janitor?
Smithers wanted revenge after you refused to go out with him.
S Smithers
How could you, Pamela? I am a lover boy of George Clooney-an proportions.
R Reporter
Fred, how was the ghost able to fly?
I can answer that. Watch. [she and Fred reveal what Smithers was wearing under his costume.] These balloons fill with a highly potent helium synthesis, giving the Luna Ghost his weightless appearance.
S Smithers
I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog! I'll get you for this!
Boy, oh, boy, those sure do look like Scooby Snacks.
Mary Jane I know they're for dogs, but they're 100% vegetarian and I love them.
Mary Jane Far out. I have never met another person who loves Scooby Snacks.
Mary Jane I'm Mary Jane.
[too shocked to speak]
Like that is my favorite name.
Mary Jane Really? No way.
I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.
Like, I'm right here, man.
Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again, huh?
Jinkies! Fred? Come in, Fred. Fred, can you hear me?
Shockingly, Daphne's been captured again. That's okay. When the Luna Ghost rounds the corner with Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby will pop out of the barrel--
And you'll activate the conveyor belt, spilling the vat of oil onto the floor.
