You know that shit you guys do? You're **** yourselves up, man. **** acid, it never leaves your body. It's in your **** spinal cord forever. Let me tell you something about the nature of chemicals, man. You know that dude, Napoleon? Yeah. He was banished to an island when the French got sick of him. That's right! He supposedly died of stomach problems, right? Wrong! He was actually poisoned over a long period of time; murdered by arsenic, a preservative. And you know how?
His **** hair! It was arsenic. You could tell how long he was being poisoned by following the traces of poison up his hair. Dude, dude, dude, if you do enough hits of it, you're dead!
Really makes you think, doesn't it, Bob?
That chemistry's the wrong **** major for a guy like you! It's the wrong major, Bob!
Well, you should lay off the acid anyways, man!
Mark I had two bags of grass in this kitchen. They are always trying to stiff me, you know?
Mark Who? Everybody. You know I give to everybody, Stevo. You know that. And they just go ahead and try to take whatever they want. It makes me want to kill...which I've done in the past, believe me. I'm not saying it makes me a man or anything. I'm just passing on the information.
Mark In Miami I shot two men. Why do you think I'm here? 'Cause I love this place? 'Salt Lake Shitty'? They tried to rob me, so I shot them in the head. You have to put at least one bullet in the head just to make sure.
Get out of here. Come on. You didn't kill anybody. **** you.
Mark You don't believe me, huh? Well...[pulls revolver out of a nearby drawer]
Mark With this. You want to be a cowboy, I show you cowboy. [waves gun around at Stevo]
Come on. Just put that thing away. I hate those things. [laughs] Put it away, I get the joke. Now put it away.
Mark When I was a kid, my family died in a crash.
[closes the open drawer]
I know.
Mark You know? My mother told me to buckle up because things were going to get bumpy...so I did. I looked at her, and she smiled. And then like this, boom, the plane was going down. My dad was next to the pilot, and he told us not to worry. But, hey, even at five I knew we had trouble because the pilot was crying. So I looked at my sister and she was like "Oh, man. We're getting close". So I looked at my mom again, and she smiled at me again...and so this time I smiled. And then we hit the ground, and something came through that plane...and cut my mother's head off. So now this head was flying straight at me, and she never took her eyes off of me. That's when I passed out. And when I woke up, my family was all around me in pieces. I saw my mother's arm, my sister's leg...my brother's head...but I couldn't find my father. I wanted to, though...'cause I was going to kick his ****IN' dead body - 'Cause he lied. You know what I'm trying to tell you, Stevo? It's so easy, so easy to get it taken away from you. And they try...every chance they get, they try.
It's bad...I mean, it's really bad.
Wait, time out. I just wanted to ask real quick, if I can. You believe in rebellion, freedom and love, right?
Mom Absolutely, yes.
Dad Rebellion, freedom, love.
You two are divorced. So love failed. Two: Mom, you're a New Ager, clinging to every scrap of Eastern religion that may justify why the above said love failed. Three: Dad, you're a slick, corporate, preppy-ass lawyer. I don't really have to say anything else about you do I dad? Four: You move from New York City, the Mecca and hub of the cultural world to Utah! Nowhere! To change nothing! More to perpetuate this cycle of greed, fascism and triviality. Your movement of the people, by and for the people got you... nothing! You just hide behind some lost sense of drugs, sex and rock and roll. Ooooh, Kumbaya! I am the future! I am the future of this great nation which you, father, so arrogantly saved this world for. Look, I have my own agenda. Harvard, out. University of Utah, in. I'm gonna get a 4.0 in damage. I love you guys! Don't get me wrong, it's all about this. But for the first time in my life, I'm 18 and I can say "FUUUUUCK YOU!"
Dad Steven, I didn't sell out son. I bought in. Keep that in mind. That kid's gonna make a hell of a lawyer, huh?
Mom Yeah, he takes after his father. He's a son of a bitch.
Dad **** you dear.
And so there I was. I was gonna go to Harvard. It was obvious. I was gonna be a lawyer and play in the God-damned system, and that was that. I was my old man. He knew, so what else could I do? I mean, there's no future in anarchy; I mean let's face it. But when I was into it, there was never a thought of the future. I mean we were certain the world was gonna end, but when it didn't, I had to do something, so **** it. I could always be a litigator in New York and piss the shit out of the judges. I mean that was me: a trouble maker of the future. The guy that was one of those guys that my parents so arrogantly saved the world for, so we could **** it up. We can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it. That was the final irony, I think. That, and well, this. And "**** you" for all of you who were thinking it: I guess when all was said and done, I was nothing more than a God-damned, trendy-ass poser.
