Dennis and Elwood
[singing]
Yes we really want to hurt you. Yes we really want to make you cry. Yes we really want to shoot you. Yes we really want to make you die.
Jerry Conlaine
Matthew Lillard · 28 quotes
Tom Marshall
Dax Shepard · 28 quotes
Dan Mott
Seth Green · 25 quotes
Del Knox
Burt Reynolds · 7 quotes
River Guide
Gregory Cruz · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Tom Marshall & Jerry Conlaine (13), Jerry Conlaine & Dan Mott (13), Tom Marshall & Dan Mott (11)
Without a Paddle quotes
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Dennis [hearing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" being sung]
The hills have gone gay.
Elwood [After cutting off a fish's head with a hatchet]
How you like me now? Huh? How you like me now, fishy? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk, cause you don't have a head and I cut it off!
[While talking to Jerry, Dan and Tom about renting the canoe]
There's a transmitter in the canoe. So just in case you three go missing, at least we'll get our boat back.
[after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry]
Give 'em hell, Tommy
[about to rappel down the tree]
This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.
[imitating C-3PO]
We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being--how do you humans say it?-- completely screwed?
Yeah. You know, that is, that's a good way to say it. That pretty much sums it up.
Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that!
[Deer looks back at Dan and growls]
I'm out.
What does that mean?
I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.
Jerry, didn't you see that the river split on the map?
I would have if your friend the big-ass bear hadn't eaten it!
Mmm, bacon.
Squirrel.
Mmm, squirrel.
This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.
I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
What does the map say, Jerry?
Where are we?
Corner of Bum-**** and You Got a Purty Mouth.
You guys are spraying me.
Give me a break. I'm writing your name.
Stop it!
Come with me, or I'll shoot your testicles off and stuff 'em and mount 'em on my mantle-piece.
That's gonna be an ugly mantle-piece.