Dan Mott [While high on marijuana, after dodging a bullet]
Whoa... Matrix.
3rd most-quoted character in Without a Paddle (2004): in 25 of its 58 quotes
Most scenes with: Jerry Conlaine (13), Tom Marshall (11)
Billy's dead and he still has a better chance of getting laid than I do.
More lines from Dan Mott
1 quote Dan Mott Scenes with Dan Mott
23 scenes
We'll shine them. It's an old Cherokee trick.
Oh, I forgot. The Cherokee have been using flashlights for thousands of years.
Dan Mott Didn't they pioneer the D-cell battery?
Dan Mott I'm out.
What does that mean?
I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.
Dan Mott [the three boys are wearing only their boxers at night, after losing their clothes]
You know, things are as bad as they could possibly get.
Dan Mott [starts raining hard, Jerry and Tom look up at the rain]
I stand corrected!
Dan Mott [Finding themselves without their clothes and are planning to sleep in the cold night while it is raining]
The only chance we have to survive is to huddle together for warmth...
I, for one, choose death.
Dan Mott [after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry]
Give 'em hell, Tommy
[about to rappel down the tree]
This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.
Come on, Dan. It's like when we'd jump off the railroad bridge into the river when we were kids. This is higher than that.
Dan Mott But I never did jump in the river! You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking!
Oh yeah! [Pushes Dan]
Dan Mott Mmm, bacon.
Squirrel.
Dan Mott Mmm, squirrel.
Dan Mott Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that!
[Deer looks back at Dan and growls]
Dan Mott [Jerry, Tom and Dan are being chased by a bear]
What are you doing?
Taking off my shoes.
Dan Mott Why?
Because I run faster with no shoes
Dan Mott You can't outrun that bear!
I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!
Dan Mott This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.
I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
Dan Mott [imitating C-3PO]
We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being--how do you humans say it?-- completely screwed?
Dan Mott Yeah. You know, that is, that's a good way to say it. That pretty much sums it up.
Dan Mott [imitating C-3PO]
As expected, Tom is drunk.
Dan Mott Where are we?
Corner of Bum-**** and You Got a Purty Mouth.
Dan Mott [While lost in the woods and then hearing rock music]
Hey, that sounds like Creed.
I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed.
[Dennis & Elwood approach, carrying rifles]
When we get out of this someone's buying a round of drinks, not it.
Not it.
Dan Mott Is there beer in heaven?
I was thinking more the bar in town.
[Giant redwood flattens Dennis & Elwood]
I about shit.
Dan Mott I did shit.
Oh shit!
Dan Mott What? Oh, shit? Oh, shit! What? Oh, shit--
Jerry, Tom & Dan
[All together, while falling off waterfall]
Oh Shiiiiiii--
So this is Spirit River, we take that to Widowmaker Bend and then we hike to Devil's Staircase and that should lead us right to the top of Hellfire.
Dan Mott What's with all these satanic names? Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way?
No, but there's a Shut-Up-You-Big-Baby Ridge.
Dan Mott What does the map say, Jerry?
Dan Mott Jerry, didn't you see that the river split on the map?
I would have if your friend the big-ass bear hadn't eaten it!
Let's go through there.
Dan Mott Where? There's no door!
Dan Mott [After hiding from Dennis and Elwood, and Dan discovering that he had swallow a bug]
It crawled straight in my stomach!
Come on, let's go.
Dan Mott I think it laid its eggs in my stomach!
You're a lot smarter than him. Right Dan?
Dan Mott Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter.
Dan Mott [While fishing with their hands]
I bet you a hundred grand and my left nut that all you catch in that river is a cold.
Dan Mott You guys are spraying me.
Give me a break. I'm writing your name.
Dan Mott Stop it!
