Jemaine Clement movie quotes

View Quote Let's agree to disagree!

View Quote (To past self) ' With my help, we'll get the Arknet, kill Agent K, the invasion will be successful and we'll get to keep both of our ar...AR...ARRR...STOP STARING AT IT!'

View Quote [hanging on to Lily, preventing her from being sucked out into space] Sorry, darling. We did love the cake. [releases her]

View Quote Jewel: Is there anything else I need to know?
Blu: Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath! Happy?
Linda: You're right. It's not my fault. [She puts on her glasses and lashes out at Tulio] It's your fault...
Tulio: What?
Linda: ...with your little bird talk and that whole "saves the species". Well you know what? SQUAWK, SQUAWKETY, SQUAWK, SQUAWK!!! [realizes what she said; gasps; covers her mouth] I'm sorry, I didn't mean to curse.
Jewel: [she and Blu are running away from Nigel] Aw, this is great. I'm chained to the only bird in the world who can't fly!
Blu: Actually, there are 40 species of flightless birds.
Jewel: [notices a crate] Duck!
Blu: No, ducks can fly.
Jewel: No, duck! [Blu notices a crate]
Blu: You see, who needs flying?
Jewel: Birds! Birds need flying. Flying is... is freedom, and... and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?
Blu: Hmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.
Blu: Yeah, sounds great. It's not like we're just throwing ourselves off of a mountain… right?
Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.
Blu: What?!
Rafael: Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA, and if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?
Man on glider: No, no, wait, wait! [screams] Mommy!
Rafael: Fun, right?
Blu: Yeah… fun…
Mauro: You 2 are coming with me.
Jewel: In your little monkey dreams. [spits on the ground]
Blu: Yeah! [tries to spit too, but it sticks to his beak; wipes it off] That was meant for you.
Rafael: Come on, can't we all just get along?
Mauro: This isn't your fight, Big Nose!
[The marmosets laugh, until one bird grabs Mauro's arm and glares at him.]
Spoonbill: You mess with my friends, you mess with me.
Other Birds: AND US!
Pedro: Yeah, little King Kong! [The marmosets and birds have an intense stare-off]
Little Green Bird: [panicky] I don't know what's going on here! [flies off]
Pedro: [battle cry] Birds versus monkeys! [The birds charge in.]
Linda: How do you know?
Fernando: Because I'm... I'm the one who took them.
Linda: You?!
Fernando: I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I needed the money.
Linda: But, Fernando, I trusted you!
Fernando: I know, but– [Before he can finish, Tipa and Armando enter]
Rafael: [flying alongside the trolley, whispering to Blu] Down here! Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes."
Blu: That's good, great idea! [to Jewel; confidently] I have beautiful eyes.
Jewel: Okay...
Jewel: Whoa, whoa, wait. Luiz... is a bulldog?
Luiz: You got something against dogs?
Jewel: I do when they're drooling on me.
Luiz: It's a medical condition.
[As she is happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly]
Jewel: Hey, where you going? [Blu ignores her and keeps on walking] Blu? [Blu stops walking] Blu, what's wrong?
Blu: Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest, I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.
Jewel: I...
Nico: [he and Pedro fly down towards them] Hey, birds! Stop yapping and start flapping! Let's go!
Jewel: I... I... I guess I thought maybe...
Blu: What, that you... you'd come to Minnesota? [Jewel just looks at him] Great, I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.
Jewel: No, that's not what I meant.
Blu: Look, Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.
Jewel: Hey, it's not my fault you can't fly.
Pedro: [to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel] Awkward…
Rafael: [to Blu and Jewel] Okay, okay. You know what? It's just good. Just clear the air, just be completely honest with each other.
Blu: You want honesty? [to Rafael and Jewel] Fine, fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to even come here in the first place. [stammers] And... and... and you know what? I hate samba! [Jewel and Rafael gasps, and Nico starts crying into Pedro's wing]
Pedro: Hey! That's a little too far.
Nico: Make the mean bird take it back!
Blu: Yeah, I said it. Every song sounds exactly the same! [sings] "Tico, taco ya-ya-ya. Tico, taco ya-ya-ya!" [groans] I'm "tico-taco" out of here.
Jewel: [angrily] Fine! See you around, pet! [starts flying away from Blu]
Rafael: No, no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together. You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure, they both die at the end, but you get my point! Oh, young love. Always so melodramatic. [to Nico and Pedro] All right, boys. Go after her. [starts flying to Blu] Blu, come back here, come on!
Nigel: [catches Jewel as she is flying] Going somewhere, pretty bird?
Jewel: Oh, yeah! I was just on my way to claw your eyes out! [punches Nigel in the face; Nico and Pedro see Nigel get a hold of Jewel]
Nigel: Temper, temper. Now come along, my dear. We're going to a parade, and everybody loves a parade! [flies away with Jewel]
Jewel: Let go of me!
Pedro: [as he, along with Nico, watch Nigel take Jewel by force] Hey, get back here! Ain't nobody mess with a friend of Pedro. I ain't havin' it! It's on! [starts punching the air]
Nico: What are you... on?! Did you see the talons on that guy?!
Pedro: "Talons"? Maybe, it's on... next time. [he and Nico turn and fly away] RALFIEEEE!
Nico: Blu, help!
Pedro: Help! [cut on Blu walking to Linda, while Rafael starts following him]
Blu: Rafael, quit following me. You're going in the wrong direction. Isn't Carnaval that way?
Rafael: I'm not going to Carnaval. No, I'm going home.
Blu: But I thought you loved Carnaval.
Rafael: I do, but I love my family much more, and that's a choice I made with this. [points to Blu's heart] Not with this. [points to Blu's head (or brain)]
Rafael: [Blu and Linda have just noticed each other at the carnival] Blu! Blu! We found her!
Pedro: She's on some, like, weird chicken float.
Rafael: Come on!
Blu: Let's go get Jewel.

View Quote Man (on radio): Boa noite, Rio! This is the final countdown to Carnaval! Let's samba.
Sylvio: [hums] Whoo! [humans] Ah! [humming] Huh?
Nigel: [pained chirping]
Sylvio: Aw. Come here, poor little birdie. Aw, It's okay. I got you. I got you. [muffled shouting]
Blu: [groans] Excuse me. Please. I am trying to sleep.
Jewel: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, sleepyhead. I'm trying to escape. [grunting]
Blu: Escape? Why? The cage is awesome.
Jewel: The cage... [laughs] Oh, what was I thinking? I wouldn't expect a pet to understand.
Blu: Pet? Did you just call me a pet? For the record, I am not a pet. I am a companion. And you know what? Do whatever you want, 'cause tomorrow morning, Linda will come for me and this whole nightmare will be over.
Jewel: Incredible. You would rather be with a-a-a human than your own kind.
Blu: Well, that human has given me love and affection for the 15 years, whereas my own kind tried to strangle me after 15 seconds!
Jewel: Yeah, well, because of them, I've lost everything. You can't trust them. [gasps]
Blu: Of course, you can trust humans. [he hears Jewel make a noise]
Jewel: [grunting]
Blu: Jewel? Jewel. [He sees a boy hover over him] Oh. Hi, there. [yells] [A boy named fernando. He puts a bag over Blu's head]
All: [laughter, festive chatter]

View Quote Blu: [Blu chants to himself with fear whilst trapped in a cage] Okay. Okay. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell. Oh, how I miss my little bell.
Jewel: Shh! Play dead.
[She drops to the floor of the cage]
Blu: What? I don't need to play dead. I'm about to have a heart attack.
Jewel: Just do it!
Blu: [sighs] Fine. [moans] [gagging] [grunting]
[he fakes a fall and starts twitching]
Jewel: Stop twitching.
Blu: Oh, come on. It's the twitching that sells it.
Jewel: Shh!
Armando: [First Words] Come on in, kid.
Marcel: [a boy places the cage holding Blu and Jewel on the table in front of Marcel][First Words] Well, what do you know? Good work, Fernando. You see, boys? What did I tell you about this one?
Tipa: [First Words] That you were going to pay him half as much as you said? [Marcel slaps Tipa in the face to shut him up] Ow!
Marcel: No, you idiot. That he reminds me of myself when I was that age. Sweet, resourceful. Here you go, kid. [he hands the boy some money]
Fernando: Hey. This is only half of what you promised me.
Marcel: Ah, shut up, kid. [takes the cover off the cage to see Blu and Jewel looking dead] What the...? [he picks up Jewel] I thought I told you I needed these birds alive. Tell me, Fernando, does this look alive to you? Huh?
[Jewel bites Marcel's thumb and flies away]
Jewel: [squwaks]
Marcel: [screams] Get her!
Armando: Come over here!
Armando and Tipa: [grunts]
Blu: Jewel!
Jewel: [panting]
Marcel: Come here!
Jewel: [pants, screams]
Nigel: [First Words] Hello, pretty bird. What's the matter? Cockatoo got your throat?
Marcel: Nigel! Alive.
Nigel: To be continued.
Tipa: [gasping]
Jewel: [groans, sighs]
Blu: [after Jewel has been caught and placed back in the cage with Blu] That was your plan-- to take off and leave me? Gee, thanks.
Jewel: Well, why didn't you follow me?
Blu: Uh... [doesn't reply as he's too embarrassed to admit he doesn't fly yet]
Marcel: Nice work, Nigel.
Tipa: Yeah, nice work, Nigel.
Marcel: The last blue macaws on Earth. [laughs] These are worth a fortune. Hey, Fernando. Hang these up in the other room.
Scaredy Bird: Hey, Birdy. Let me out. Let me out! Let me out of here!!!
Neurotic Bird: Who's a pretty bird? I'm a pretty bird. Pretty bird. I'm a pretty bird. [laughs] I'm a pretty bird.
Bat: I was framed! They got the wrong guy!
Fernando: Sorry, guys. Nothing personal. So, what's going to happen to them?
Marcel: Don't worry. We're going to find good homes for them. Now, go home to your mama.
Fernando: But I don't have a mama.
Marcel: Father?
Armando: Brother?
Tipa: Goldfish? Aw. Can we keep him, boss?
Marcel: No! [he shuts the door in Fernando's face]
Tipa: [hearing Marcel talking to his men through the door] So, Marcel, what's really going to happen to those birds?
Marcel: Ugh! Plucked, stuffed, eaten. Who cares? All I know is we're going to be rich.
All: [evilly laughing]
Armando: We're gonna be rich!
Fernando: [grunts, groans]

View Quote [about Stu] At first I wanted to kill him, but now I'm glad I spent time to get to know him.

View Quote [Nick and Deacon quarrel, Nick runs away by turning into a bat, Deacon chases after him by also turning into a bat] Ooh! Bat Fight!

View Quote We're vampires. We don't put down towels.