Ice Cube movie quotes

View Quote Six in the morning police at my door.

View Quote Y'all some little tortoises, huh?

View Quote [from trailer] You want to roll with us? Humans are never going to like us. So I decided to kill all the humans and let the mutants rule the earth.

View Quote Nick: Here we go, here we go!
[Nick kicks open the dirty toilet hut door]
Kevin and Nick: Ew!!
[Nick runs into ladies' room.]
Nick: In here, in here, hold it, hold it.
[Kevin slams the toilet hut door]
Woman: [freaks out] This is taken!
Nick: I'm sorry!

View Quote Nick: Quiet down, there. Have patience.
Kevin and Lindsey: [make alarm blaring noises] Turn if off, Nick! Hurry! Hurry!
Nick: All right, calm down.

View Quote Lindsey: I knew you were lying. "Yeah, we're just friends." Yeah, right. You're just usin' us to suck up to our Mama.
Nick: What?!
Kevin: Yeah, you're just a dirty, horny sex-man like all the others. Nasty man, you're a nasty, bad man!
Nick: Look, I tried to do your Mama a favor, you little booger!
Kevin: You probably wanna kiss her, don't 'cha? [he makes a face on the window]
Nick: Hey, off the glass! Off the glass! [to Lindsey] And you, open this door.
Lindsey: You forgot the magic word.
Nick: Open this damn door!
Kevin: Ooh, you just swore again! Lindsey, he just swore again!
Nick: So what? Hey, I'm not playin' with you.
Lindsey: You can't make us do anything.
Nick: Hey! This is my car! You hear me, little girl?! This is my car!
[Lindsey is getting ready to put the car into acceleration]
Nick: Uh uh! You better not! Look at me, I'm serious! I'm not playin' with you, little girl, okay? Now, if you don't open that door before I count to three, somebody gonna get it.

View Quote [Melanie strikes him in face and frees herself from his clutch] Damn, girl, I like you already. [He punches her out]

View Quote [To Big Daddy Mars on uncoupled train section] See you later, you big mother****er! [Big Daddy Mars roars ferociously and train explodes]

View Quote Desolation: That's the second time I've saved your life.
Melanie: Yeah, run a tab.

View Quote Red: Man! Why ain't ya'll help me?!
Smokey: Shit, I'm high
Red: If that were ya'll I would'a helped ya'll!
Craig: What 'bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?!
Smokey: Yea?!
Red: [thinks about it for a second] Oh that was different.

View Quote Red: Man, why y'all didn't help me?!
Smokey: Man, I'm high.
Red: Man, that's **** up! If that were y'all, I woulda helped y'all.
Craig: What 'bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?
Smokey: Yeah?
Red: [thinks about it for a second] Oh, that was different.

View Quote [Craig's father catches him with a handgun]
Mr. Jones: What's that for?
Craig: Protection.
Mr. Jones: Protection from who?
Craig: Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.
Mr. Jones: Aw, man... your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.
Craig: You know how it is 'round here.
Mr. Jones: Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin' but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. [Raises his fists] This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day! Now you think you're a man with a gun in your hands, don't you?
Craig: I'm a man without it.
Mr. Jones: Put the gun down.
[Craig complies]
Mr. Jones: C'mon, put up your dukes.
[Craig raises his fists]
Mr. Jones: Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. Twenty-two years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?
Craig and Smokey [after seeing Big Worm's crew's van]: Oh shit!

View Quote Xibalba: You never cease to amaze me, mi amor. Such passion.
La Muerte: Anyone can die. These kids, they will have the courage to live.
Xibalba: I'll wager you are right, my love.
(Xibalba and La Muerte kiss)
Candle Maker: Hey, write your own story.

View Quote Manolo: I know about the wager. Xibalba cheated!
La Muerte: He did WHAT?!
Manolo: Yeah! With a two-headed snake!
(La Muerte starts to boil with rage)
Candle Maker: You might wanna cover your ears right now.
La Muerte: XIIIIIIII...BAAAAALLLLLLL...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (engulfs the Land of the Forgotten in light)
Xibalba: (suddenly appears when the brightness faded) Yes, my dear? (suddenly shocked when he sees Manolo and the group) Oh.
La Muerte: You misbegotten son of a leprous donkey! YOU CHEATED!! AGAIN!!!
Xibalba: I did no such thing! (La Muerte grabs Xibalba's two-headed snake and turns it back into a staff) Oh, that. It has a mind of its own...or two.
La Muerte: That is unforgivable!
Xibalba: Oh, please! I never sent that snake to Maria, and I never gave that medal to Joaquin! (realizes what he just said)
La Muerte: (suspicious) What...medal?
Xibalba: The..... one I never gave him. Ever at all. Never. Who is this Joaquin?
La Muerte: (grabs Xibalba) You gave Joaquin the Medal of Everlasting Life?!
Xibalba: Yes.
Manolo: "Medal of Everlasting Life"?
La Muerte: Whoever wears the medal cannot die or be injured. (slaps Xibalba)
Carmen: Please, may I? (is lifted, and then slaps Xibalba repeatedly) Thank you. (glares at Xibalba as she descends back down)
Candle Maker: Uh, can I get a slap, too?

View Quote Manolo: La Muerte! I need a word for you, my lady!
La Muerte: (gasps and faces Manolo and his crew) Manolo? But how did you get here?
Manolo: I had some help. (shows his crew)
Candle Maker: (giggles) Hey there.
La Muerte: Candle Maker! Carmen! And the head of Luis? (snaps her fingers and puts Luis' body)
Luis: Great! My arthritis is back.
Manolo: I know about the wager. Xibalba cheated!
La Muerte: He did WHAT?!
Manolo: Yeah! With a two-headed snake!
(La Muerte starts to boil with rage)
Candle Maker: You might wanna cover your ears right now.
La Muerte: (screaming loudly) XI-BAL-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (engulfs the Land of the Forgotten in light)
Xibalba: (suddenly appears when the brightness faded) Yes, my dear? (suddenly shocked when he sees Manolo and the group) Oh.
La Muerte: You misbegotten son of a leprous donkey! YOU CHEATED!! AGAIN!!!
Xibalba: I did no such thing! (La Muerte grabs Xibalba's two-headed snake and turns it back into a staff) Oh, that. It has a mind of its own...or two.
La Muerte: That is unforgivable!
Xibalba: Oh, please! I never sent that snake to Maria, and I never gave that medal to Joaquin! (realizes what he just said)
La Muerte: (suspicious) What... medal?
Xibalba: The, uhh... one I never gave him. Ever at all. Never. Who is this Joaquin?
La Muerte: (grabs Xibalba) You gave Joaquin the MEDAL OF EVERLASTING LIFE?!
Xibalba: Yes...?
Manolo: "Medal of Everlasting Life"?
La Muerte: Whoever wears the medal cannot die or be injured. (slaps Xibalba)
Carmen: Please, may I? (is lifted, and then slaps Xibalba repeatedly) Thank you. (glares at Xibalba as she descends back down)
Candle Maker: Uh, can I get a slap, too?
Carmen: My son did not deserve this!
Manolo: Come on! I... I have to go back!
La Muerte: Hmm... It's only fair. (Xibalba groans and turns his back) Please, Balby?
Manolo, Carmen, Luis, and Candle Maker: "Balby"?!
Xibalba: No, never.
La Muerte: You better do this!
Xibalba: No.
Manolo: Hey, what about a wager?
La Muerte and Xibalba: A wager?
Manolo: If I win, you give me my life back.
Xibalba: You have nothing I want.
La Muerte: But I do. If you win, Xibalba, you can rule both realms.
Manolo: You name the task, anything you want, and I will beat you. What?! Are you afraid you might lose?!
Candle Maker: Watcha doin', kid?
Manolo: Do we have a deal?
Xibalba: We have a deal. Now, tell me, boy... What keeps you up at night? What eats you on the inside? What, do tell, is your worst fear? Got it.

View Quote Troy Barlow: I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.
Chief Elgin: I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.
Barlow: I'll bet you a Lexus they do.
Elgin: Alright, but it won't be a convertible.

View Quote Archie Gates: Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?
Chief Elgin: No, sir.
Gates: Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear nose and throat tent.
Troy Barlow: Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.
Gates: Captain a proctologist?
Conrad Vig: What's a proctologist, sir?

View Quote Troy Barlow: Conrad, you've washed your hands like ten times.
Conrad Vig: Lord knows what kind of vermin live in the butt of a Dune Coon.
Chief Elgin: Why do you let this cracker hang around with you, man?
Barlow: He's all right, man. He's from a group home in Dallas. He's got no high school.
Vig: Don't tell people that.
Elgin: I don't care if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear Dune Coon or Sand **** from him or anybody else.
Vig: Captain uses those terms.
Barlow: That's not the point, Conrad. The point is that Towel Head and Camel Jockey are perfectly good substitutes.
Elgin: Exactly!

View Quote [repeated line] I can fix that.

View Quote Pregnant lady coming through!