Troy Barlow quotes from Three Kings (1999)

Troy Barlow

Are we shooting?

What?

Barlow

Are we shooting people or what?

Are we shooting?

Barlow

That's what I'm asking you!

What's the answer?

Barlow

I don't know the answer! That's what I'm trying to find out!

Archie Gates

Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?

Chief Elgin

No, sir.

Gates

Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear nose and throat tent.

Troy Barlow

Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.

Gates

Captain a proctologist?

What's a proctologist, sir?

Troy Barlow

Hey, would you take those **** things off?

I never got to use night-vision.

Barlow

They do not work during the day!

Yeah, they kinda work.

Troy Barlow

I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.

Chief Elgin

I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.

Barlow

I'll bet you a Lexus they do.

Elgin

Alright, but it won't be a convertible.

Troy Barlow

Conrad, you've washed your hands like ten times.

Lord knows what kind of vermin live in the butt of a Dune Coon.

Chief Elgin

Why do you let this cracker hang around with you, man?

Barlow

He's all right, man. He's from a group home in Dallas. He's got no high school.

Don't tell people that.

Elgin

I don't care if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear Dune Coon or Sand **** from him or anybody else.

Captain uses those terms.

Barlow

That's not the point, Conrad. The point is that Towel Head and Camel Jockey are perfectly good substitutes.

Elgin

Exactly!

Troy Barlow

I heard a lot of bad shit happened in Kuwait.

Yes... bad shit happened... I'm not proud of that. Yes Saddam is very crazy, but then you are crazy for coming here.