Three Kings (1999) · 9 quotes
Archie Gates
Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?
Chief Elgin
No, sir.
Gates
Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear nose and throat tent.
Troy Barlow
Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.
Gates
Captain a proctologist?
What's a proctologist, sir?
Troy Barlow
I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.
Chief Elgin
I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.
Barlow
I'll bet you a Lexus they do.
Elgin
Alright, but it won't be a convertible.
Troy Barlow
Conrad, you've washed your hands like ten times.
Lord knows what kind of vermin live in the butt of a Dune Coon.
Chief Elgin
Why do you let this cracker hang around with you, man?
Barlow
He's all right, man. He's from a group home in Dallas. He's got no high school.
Don't tell people that.
Elgin
I don't care if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear Dune Coon or Sand **** from him or anybody else.
Captain uses those terms.
Barlow
That's not the point, Conrad. The point is that Towel Head and Camel Jockey are perfectly good substitutes.
Elgin
Exactly!
