Craig What?
Craig [Craig enters bathroom, Mr Jones is spraying air freshener]
Aw man, I'll wait until you come out.
Boy, bring yo ass up in here! What you talkin 'bout, you 'wait til I come out'? I smelt yo shit for 22 years...now you can smell mine for 5 minutes.
...Urgh! [plop]
Now your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.
Craig ...Wha?...
That was stupid! ...How the hell you gonna get fired...on your day off?!
Craig I don't know.
...Urrrgh! [plop]
Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the C-C-...urrrgh!...on the counter there. Ughh.
Craig ...I ain't tryna be no dog-catcher!
Craig I don't even like dogs.
That's the beauty of it! I-I grab a dog...and...I-I choke him, and I-I...kick the shit out of him! All day long - my foot up a dog's ass! Yes, BANG BANG BANG up his ass! ...That's my plea-sure!
Craig ...No thanks.
Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month - the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog...catchin YOUR ass!
Thought you had the day off yesterday?
Craig I did. Boss called me around 3 o clock. Said they got me on tape stealing boxes.
...The **** you doin' stealin boxes for?! What you tryna do, build a clubhouse?
Craig Hell, no, they ain't got me on tape! But the boss said he did...fired me on the spot.
Damn! You've got to be one stupid mother-****er to get fired on your day off!
[Craig's father catches him with a handgun]
What's that for?
Craig Protection.
Craig Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.
Aw, man... your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.
Craig You know how it is 'round here.
Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin' but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. [Raises his fists] This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day! Now you think you're a man with a gun in your hands, don't you?
Craig I'm a man without it.
[Craig complies]
C'mon, put up your dukes.
[Craig raises his fists]
Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. Twenty-two years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?
CA Craig and Smokey [after seeing Big Worm's crew's van]
Oh shit!
Craig Man, look what you did to my curtain. You better watch whose window you be sneaking in before you get smoked.
With what? You ain't got nothing.
Craig (pulls out a gun and sticks it in Smokey's face)
With this.
Whoa, man. Where did you get that from?
Craig Yo Mama!
Craig **** you.
PC Pastor Clever
[upon seeing Smokey rolling a joint]
'Scuse me brother. What we call drugs at 74th street Baptist church, we call a sinny-sin-sin.
Well 'round here, between Normandine and the Western, we call this here a little twenty-twen-twen!
Craig Well..
PC Pastor Clever
Why don't you give me a bit for my cataracts?
You didn't put in on this, man.
PC Pastor Clever
It's better to give than receive, my brother.
CJ Craig Jones
[points across the street to Mrs. Parker]
Look, look, she's bendin' over!
PC Pastor Clever
Lord have mercy! The Lord is my shepherd, He know what I want! Excuse me, brothers. (running across the street) Mrs. Parker! Mrs. Parker!
Told you. The weed be lettin' you know, [he holds up a pack of marajuana] where evil lurks.
Craig Wassup.
Craig I got fired yesterday.
Fo' real?! I thought you had the day off yesterday.
Craig I did. Went in there pick up my check. Came home. Supervisor called me about 4 o'clock. Talking about they got me on video tape stealing boxes.
The **** you doin' stealin' boxes for? What, you trying to build a clubhouse? Man, I know you didn't go out like that.
Craig Hell, no, ain't got me on tape. But they said they did. Fired me on the spot. Talkin' about pressin' charges.
Goddamn! You've got to be a stupid mother****er to get fired on your day off.
Man, why y'all didn't help me?!
Man, that's **** up! If that were y'all, I woulda helped y'all.
Craig What 'bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?
[thinks about it for a second]
Oh, that was different.
[rips curtain]
Break yourself, foo'!
Craig Look what you did to my curtain! You better watch whose window you be sneaking in before you get blasted on.
With what? You ain't got nothing, man!
Craig [pulls out a gun and sticks it in Smokey's face]
With this.
Man, where'd you get that from?
Craig Your mama.
Craig **** you.
Come on outside, man, and stop playing.
Craig (laughs)
gotta get dressed.
Craig Don't tell me to hurry up.
