[first words]
Curses! It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one CUSTOMER! [echoes]
[first words]
Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.
Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Ohhh. Oh! Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet from A to Y.
Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
W, X, Y. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said!
[rolls her eyes]
Oh, boy.
Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. [sniffs it] It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't POSSIBLY FAIL! So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. ALL HAIL PLANKT--! [gets stepped on by SpongeBob] Ow!
SpongeBob I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
SpongeBob Eww, I think I stepped in something. [drags his foot on the ground while Plankton screams]
Not "in something", -"on someone", you twit!
SpongeBob Oh. Sorry, Plankton. Are you on your way to the grand opening ceremony?
[mockingly]
No, I mean, yes, I'm almost on my side over to the grand opening ceremony. I'm busy on planning to rule the world! Almost done! [laughs]
SpongeBob Well, good luck with that. I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!
SpongeBob Alright. Get it together, old boy. I know. I'll just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad.
Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager.
SpongeBob [screaming cry]
Ahhhh-hahhh-hahhh-hahhh!
Wow, the pressure's already setting in.
SpongeBob No, Pat, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion.
SpongeBob Mr. Krabs thinks I'm a kid.
SpongeBob I know.
Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid.
W Waiter
Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
I'm supposed to get a toy with this. Thanks.
SpongeBob [sighs]
I'm gonna head home, Pat. The celebration's off.
SpongeBob Yeah. I'm not in a Goober mood.
W Waiter
And here's your Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, sir.
SpongeBob A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.
With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.
[arriving and his squire blows his trumpet]
Greetings, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once.
I am Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order somethin'?
NAY!!! I'm onto you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! [shows him a note]
"I stole your crown. Signed, EUGENE KRABS?!
Relinquish the royal crown to me AT ONCE!
B-But, this is crazy! I didn't do it!
Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs! Leave a message.
[disguised voice, on the answering machine]
Hi, Mr. Krabs, this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to? Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City and, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.
[chuckles nervously]
Eh-heh-heh. Don't you just hate wrong numbers?
MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! [Scene cuts to Plankton on the phone]
WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Prepare to burn, Krabs! [lights his trident]
[sobs]
Wait, Neptune! Please, I'm beggin' ya! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me!
Very well, then. [extinguishes his trident] Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fish-meal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
SpongeBob [burps]
I got something to say about Mr... [gulps] Krabs.
SpongeBob, me boy, oh, you've come just in time. Please tell King Neptune all about me.
SpongeBob I have worked for Mr. Krabs for... [burps] many years and always thought he was a great boss.
SpongeBob [off-screen]
I now realize that he's a great... big... jerk! [Mr. Krabs turns to SpongeBob] I deserved that manager's job! [grabs Mr. Krabs upsettingly] But you didn't give it to me, 'cause you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this... man... has got something to say to you. [takes a deep breath and blows a long raspberry] There, I think I've made my point.
[Mr. Krabs' pupils turn to King Neptune]
Anyone else? No? Well, then. [fires at Mr. Krabs, causing him to burn his butt]
SpongeBob [immediately snaps out of his cynical, drunken state]
Huh?
[flies around the restaurant with his butt burning]
Ooh! Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire! [he dives into a bucket of water] Oh, yeah.
And now, Eugene Krabs, [prepares to blast Mr. Krabs again] you... will... [SpongeBob grips onto King Neptune's nose]
SpongeBob Wait! I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over.
Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.
SpongeBob Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
You don't understand! My crown is a symbol of my king like authority. And, uh, between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob Oh, your highness, I'm sure it's not that notice... Baaaald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
C Crowd
Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
SpongeBob Uh, King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if I went to get your crown back?
YOU, go to Shell City?! [laughs] No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned! What makes you think you could? You're just a kid. [throws SpongeBob to the floor]
SpongeBob [sadly]
But I'm not a kid. I can do it.
Run along. I have a crab to cook. [lights his trident]
SpongeBob [SpongeBob gets in the way]
No! I won't let you!
[sighs]
Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both!
[runs to the Krusty Krab to stop him]
Daddy, stop it! Can't you get through one day without executing someone?
Mindy? I told you to stay in the carriage!
Where's your love and compassion? [holds up SpongeBob] Look at this little guy! He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.
Please, Father, at least let him try... What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your... special problem? [removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot]
A All
Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls!
[to SpongeBob]
And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly ten days.
[interrupting]
He can do it in nine.
SA SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs
Patrick! [they tackle him]
[Krabs strangles him]
Five...?
Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands.
No, wait, I'm beggin' ya! [King Neptune freezes him]
Who turned on the AC? Ah! Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible! Who's gonna sign my paycheck?
[to SpongeBob and Patrick]
Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers, and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops who guards the outskirts of the city, and preys on innocent sea creatures! Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
What's in here? [opens the bag and wind blows into his face]
It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds, and you'll be blown back home.
V Voice
[The teaser trailer starts with the Paramount Pictures logo]
Sonar 4-0, is that sound still out there?
M1 Man #1
[The scene cuts inside a submarine] [speaking German]
Concact, bearing 60°. Quite faint.
BM Bart Mancuso
What do you got?
B Beaumont
[Seaman Ronald "Jonesy" Jones holds up his hand]
What's going on, Jones?
M2 Man #2
[Jonesy holds his headphones. He hears SpongeBob laughing]
I can hear…
J Jonesy
[The people look up as they hear SpongeBob laugh again]
3,000 yards. Closing, ultimately fast.
G Greer
[Mancuso and his friends look closely at the submarine radar, where a silhouette of SpongeBob appears on the right. Vice Admiral James Greer looks shocked]
Mother of God!
SpongeBob [The scene cuts to the bathroom of SpongeBob's house. In the bathtub, SpongeBob plays with his submarine while laughing, wearing a sailor's hat. Gary, with his eyes above the tub's surface, watches him]
Don't you just love playing submarine, Gary?
SpongeBob [Gary meows underwater as if to say, "Guess so."]
Prepare to dive!
M4 Man #4
[As SpongeBob imitates a propeller, he plunges his submarine into the tub. The scene cuts back inside it, where water sprays through the walls! The people try to clog them]
Move it! Move it! Move it!
A Announcer
[The movie's early title appears overblack]
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.
M5 Man #5
[As the theme song from the show plays, the scene cuts to the bottom of the tub, where SpongeBob's submarine lays on the drain as the tub water goes down. A rubber duck is nearby]
Captain, sir. Um... you're never gonna believe this.
J Jonesy
[The scene cuts back inside the submarine as the show's theme song fades]
For one second, I thought I hear it.
J Jonesy
I thought I hear singing, sir.
[The theme song ends with a pirate laughing as a nose flute was heard. An orange fish with white text reading, "Nickelodeon", swims above red words reading, "Thanksgiving 2004", ending the teaser trailer]
