Mr. Krabs You… did not… get… the job.
7th most-quoted character in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004): in 9 of its 96 quotes
Most scenes with: SpongeBob SquarePants (5), Plankton (4), Patrick Star (3)
Hello! I like money.
More lines from Mr. Krabs
1 quote Mr. Krabs Scenes with Mr. Krabs
7 scenes Mr. Krabs "I stole your crown, signed... EUGENE KRABS"?!
Relinquish the royal crown to me AT ONCE! [points his burning trident at Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it!
Answering Machine
Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs-- leave a message!
Answering Machine
Hi, Mr. Krabs, this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to? Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. [Mr. Krabs tries to stop the machine by breaking it but it continues to play] I sold it to a guy in Shell City and, uh... I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown... [Mr. Krabs rips the phone from the cord but the phone still works for a brief moment] ...which is now in Shell City, goodbye.
Mr. Krabs Eh-heh-heh, h'well, I was... I, uh... hoo-hoo... eh... Don't'cha just hate wrong numbers?
MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?!! [screams]
French Narrator
Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So...uhh...wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, the Krusty Krab restaurant.
Police
Back up! Back up!
French Narrator
Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?
Mr. Krabs Please, settle down! We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss 'til me manager gets here.
Female Fish
Look, there he is!
Talk to me, Krabs.
Mr. Krabs Oh, it started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese.
So, what was he wrong?
Mr. Krabs When the customer took a bite, no cheese! [cries]
[slaps Krabs' face]
Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm goin' in. Take it easy, my friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be just fine.
Fish
Who are you? I'm really scared here, man.
Do you got a name?
Phil
Phil.
Do you got a family, Phil? [Phil whimpers] Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.
Phil
I got a wife and two beautiful children.
That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil.
Phil
What?
Bingo. Say cheese. Order up.
Crowd
Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! [blows foghorn from their mouth] Hip! Hip! [does it again] Hip! Hip! [and again]
[The scene changes to SpongeBob in his bedroom with his pet snail, Gary. SpongeBob turns off his alarm clock]
Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again. And it's finally gonna come true. Today, sorry about this, calendar. Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager.
Gary the Snail
Meow.
Who's it gonna be, Gary? [chuckles] Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards.
SpongeBob SquarePants.
I'm ready, promotion.
Anchovy
Dork?
Mr. Krabs No, wait, that's not correct. Not a dork.
Pearl Krabs A goofball?
Mr. Krabs Closer, but no.
Yellow-orange fish
A ding-a-ling.
Tom
Wingnut.
Mabel
A knucklehead McSpazatron.
Mr. Krabs Okay, that's enough!
$101 for a Krabby Patty?
Mr. Krabs With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.
[arriving and his squire blows his trumpet]
Greetings, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once.
Mr. Krabs I am Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order somethin'?
NAY!!! I'm onto you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! [shows him a note]
Mr. Krabs "I stole your crown. Signed, EUGENE KRABS?!
Relinquish the royal crown to me AT ONCE!
Mr. Krabs B-But, this is crazy! I didn't do it!
Mr. Krabs on answering machine Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs! Leave a message.
[disguised voice, on the answering machine]
Hi, Mr. Krabs, this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to? Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City and, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.
Mr. Krabs [chuckles nervously]
Eh-heh-heh. Don't you just hate wrong numbers?
MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! [Scene cuts to Plankton on the phone]
Plan Z, I love Plan Z.
WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Prepare to burn, Krabs! [lights his trident]
Mr. Krabs [sobs]
Wait, Neptune! Please, I'm beggin' ya! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me!
Very well, then. [extinguishes his trident] Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fish-meal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
Mr. Krabs SpongeBob, me boy, oh, you've come just in time. Please tell King Neptune all about me.
I have worked for Mr. Krabs for... [burps] many years and always thought he was a great boss.
Mr. Krabs You see? A great boss.
[off-screen]
I now realize that he's a great... big... jerk! [Mr. Krabs turns to SpongeBob] I deserved that manager's job! [grabs Mr. Krabs upsettingly] But you didn't give it to me, 'cause you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this... man... has got something to say to you. [takes a deep breath and blows a long raspberry] There, I think I've made my point.
[Mr. Krabs' pupils turn to King Neptune]
Anyone else? No? Well, then. [fires at Mr. Krabs, causing him to burn his butt]
Mr. Krabs [flies around the restaurant with his butt burning]
Ooh! Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire! [he dives into a bucket of water] Oh, yeah.
And now, Eugene Krabs, [prepares to blast Mr. Krabs again] you... will... [SpongeBob grips onto King Neptune's nose]
Wait! I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over.
Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.
Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
You don't understand! My crown is a symbol of my king like authority. And, uh, between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit.
Oh, your highness, I'm sure it's not that notice... Baaaald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd
Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
MY EYES!
Alright, alright.
Uh, King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if I went to get your crown back?
YOU, go to Shell City?! [laughs] No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned! What makes you think you could? You're just a kid. [throws SpongeBob to the floor]
Run along. I have a crab to cook. [lights his trident]
Mr. Krabs No!
[runs to the Krusty Krab to stop him]
Daddy, stop it! Can't you get through one day without executing someone?
Mindy? I told you to stay in the carriage!
Where's your love and compassion? [holds up SpongeBob] Look at this little guy! He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.
But, daughter, I...
Please, Father, at least let him try... What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your... special problem? [removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot]
All
Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
All
Bald!
Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls!
Mr. Krabs Huh?
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs
Patrick! [they tackle him]
Six it is, then.
Patrick, shush!
Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands.
Mr. Krabs No, wait, I'm beggin' ya! [King Neptune freezes him]
Who turned on the AC? Ah! Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible! Who's gonna sign my paycheck?
Come along, Mindy.
[to SpongeBob and Patrick]
Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers, and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops who guards the outskirts of the city, and preys on innocent sea creatures! Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
She's pretty, SpongeBob.
Here, take this.
What's in here? [opens the bag and wind blows into his face]
It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
You're hot.
Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds, and you'll be blown back home.
[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff, with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown still on his back, zooms across the water like a speedboat. A fisherman startles as he falls off his boat after seeing Hasselhoff, who smile]
Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now!
Huh? Unidentified object off the hindquarters.
It looks like... Bigger boot. But how? AAHH! DENNIS!
Did you miss me?
This is the best seat in the house. Alright, Neptune, let's get it on!
Eugene Krabs, your six day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.
Eugene Harold Krabs Please, I didn't do it!
There is nothing else I can do.
You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.
Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-time---- WHAT? Mindy, will you butt out? I won't have you stalling this execution.
Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.
I'm stalling?
Yes.
Stalling?
Stalling!
Stalling.
Stalling!
Oh, boy.
Now, where were we?
Patrick, run!
No! I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop- [Dennis knocks him away] Run, SpongeBob!
Ahhhhhh! [He slides down David's rear, but Dennis stabs it with his knife]
Ooh! Take it easy back there, fellas.
SpongeBob, be careful!
Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.
NEVER!!!!!!!!!! [jumps to Hasselhoff's other leg] Yeah, I did it!
You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip 'em outta ya.
Uh, I don't know what Plankton's paying you, but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. [presents a stack of Goober Dollars]
Uh, that, sir, is 5 Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober - [Dennis furiously grabs him by the shirt] I got bubbles. Fun at parties. [Blows them at Dennis's face]
My eyes!
I got you, SpongeBob!
Thanks, buddy. Yeah, thanks a lot.
[A boat horn honks, and Hasselhoff ducks under a catamaran. The boat knocks Dennis off him]
See ya.
No! No! No! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.
[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff stops near Bikini Atoll Island]
OK, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom is directly below.
But we'll never be able to float down in time.
Who said anything about floating?
Houston Voice
[As David stands up]
Initiating launch sequence.
What the...?
The control.
All hands on deck!
Houston Voice
[David places the crown with SpongeBob and Patrick on it between his pecs, then begins to squeeze them out.]
10 seconds to liftoff. 10, 9, 8...
[Cut back and forth between David and the Krusty Krab]
Eugene Krabs, the time has come... [lights his trident]
No.
Yes.
Houston Voice
...7, 6, 5...
...for you...
No.
Yes.
Houston Voice
...4, 3, 2...
...to fry.
No.
Yes.
Houston Voice
...1.
Krabs [David launches the crown into the water; SpongeBob and Patrick hold on to the crown zooming at high speed as they holler and speed right back to Bikini Bottom toward the Krusty Krab 2] [closes his eyes]
No!
[The duo crashes through the roof with the crown. Just as a ray of light is about to hit Krabs, the crown blocks it and deflects it upward through the ceiling, saving his life. The ray of light blasts up to the surface where Hasselhoff is]
You've done good, Hasselhoff. You've done... [the ray of light zaps him] Ow.
Eugene Harold Krabs [opens his eyes]
Huh? Huh?
Hooray! We made it!
We made it!
My crown! My beautiful crown! [kisses it]
SpongeBob, Patrick? [hugs them] I knew you could do it!
Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella!
SpongeBob, Patrick Star, and Princess Mindy
Umbrella?
Mr. Krabs [Last lines]
SpongeBob, me boy! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That's a mistake I won't make again.
Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve.
Mr. Krabs And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done 6 days ago. Mr. Squidward, front and center, please. I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin.
I couldn't agree more, sir.
Harold
Hooray for SpongeBob!
[Everyone cheers]
Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
Are you crazy? I was just gonna tell you that your fly was down. Manager?! This is the greatest day of my life!
Other characters in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick Star
Bill Fagerbakke
Plankton
Mr. Lawrence
Princess Mindy
Scarlett Johansson
SpongeBob
Tom Kenny
King Neptune
Squidward Tentacles
Rodger Bumpass
Dennis
Alec Baldwin
Neptune
Jeffrey Tambor
Captain Bart
Bart McCarthy
Fred
Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff
Karen
Jill Talley
Mrs. Puff
Mary Jo Catlett
Sandy Cheeks
Carolyn Lawrence
Patrick Star
Bill Fagerbakke
Plankton
Mr. Lawrence
Princess Mindy
Scarlett Johansson
SpongeBob
Tom Kenny
King Neptune
Squidward Tentacles
Rodger Bumpass
Dennis
Alec Baldwin
Neptune
Jeffrey Tambor
Captain Bart
Bart McCarthy
Fred
Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff
Karen
Jill Talley
Mrs. Puff
Mary Jo Catlett
Sandy Cheeks
Carolyn Lawrence
