P1 Pirate 1
[Seagulls flying across the sky. On a look-out post, a pirate looks through a telescope. He moves upward to get a better look at something. The screen shows the view in the telescope of another pirate on a dinghy with a treasure chest on it]
I got it! I got it! I got it!
P2 Pirate 2
Dinghy ahoy. Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow!
P3 Pirate 3
Dinghy off the port bow!
P Pirates
[off-screen]
Dinghy off the port bow!
P4 Pirate 4
Captain, dinghy off the- [hit in the face by the door]
Captain Bart Dinghy.
P1 Pirate 1
[The captain, as he pushes through, signals to his friends to let the pirate in the dinghy onto the ship, along with the chest]
I got it! I got it.
Captain Bart Where is it?
P1 Pirate 1
It's right here, captain.
Captain Bart [They open the chest]
I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie!
[The pirates cheer]
Captain Bart That's the end of SpongeBob. Come here, you!
PP Potty The Parrot
[squawking]
Shut up and look at the screen.
Captain Bart Argh! The bird's right. Look! It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers.
[The heart-shaped tear, trembles and comes together to form a big tear. It slides down a cord. The tear pokes through the outlet, causing it to spark. The light from the heat lamp turns off, and smoke rises to a sprinkler. More sprinklers spray water around the room. The spraying water brings the dried-up SpongeBob and Patrick back to life as they gasp and breathe in]
Hey, we're alive!
[The pirates and crowd cheer]
Let's get that crown.
On 3, Patrick. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Hey, it's lighter that I thought.
A All
[The Cyclops is actually holding it by the top, SpongeBob and Patrick to scream]
Huh?
C Cyclops
[All around the room, the creatures come to life, each one at a time, even 3 fishes playing Mariachi instruments who play Jarabe Tapatio] [looking around]
Huh? What? Huh? [as he watches more creatures come to life, they growl angrily at him. A lobster taps on the back of his helmet, getting his attention. He turns to face it] Huh? [the lobster reveals the glue bottle and jar of googly eyes] Uh-oh. [the lobster squirts glue onto the Cyclops's face, and falls over] Whoa!
Come on, Patrick! Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. Do you still have that bag of winds?
I sure do. [the duo laugh as he takes out the bag] Here you go.
Nothing, nothing. Okay, let's go over the instructions. Let's see, it says here: "Step 1: Point the bag away from home."
"Step 2: Plant your feet firmly on the ground."
"Step 3: Remove the string from the bag, releasing the winds."
Well, that seems simple enough. "Point the bag away from home, your feet firmly on the ground, pull the string, releasing the winds." Alright, let's do it for real.
I was bad! I'm sorry! Please, bag, I'm sorry! I just thought...It was a mistake!
Oh, no! How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
Um, so where's your boat?
[Later, David Hasselhoff swims on the water with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown on his back]
Go, Hasselhoff!
Next stop, Bikini Bottom!
Captain Bart [In a post-credit scene] [last lines]
You know, David Hasselhoff is a great artist.
U Usher
Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart What? Say that again, if you dare.
U Usher
[pirate accent]
You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart Okay.
