Elliot [About the coffee he found in a dumpster]
Yuck. Yuck! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's like freedom in a cup!
Voiced by Ashton Kutcher 
Open Season (2006) · 70 quotes
Open Season (2006) · 70 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Open Season (2006): in 31 of its 70 quotes
Most scenes with: Boog (17), Reilly (5), Buddy (4)
Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who was constantly having to pee/One day, the elf could take no more/So he went and banged on the rude dwarf's door/And what do you know, they suddenly both were married.
More lines from Elliot
6 quotes Elliot Elliot [Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head]
I come in peace.
Elliot [bounces on a bed]
So soft. What is that? [bounces off]
Elliot Coming this fall.
Elliot Oh, got it. Coming not this fall.
Elliot Then you say it.
Scenes with Elliot
24 scenes Elliot [Standing with his butt in the air, his antler stuck to the ground]
Hey, Boog! Look, no hands! Though I think I'm getting a sunburn. Check it out.
All right, where's home?
Elliot Or maybe call this a moonburn. Check it out.
Elliot [Boog slaps Elliot on the butt]
Ow!
Elliot Boogster, what's the delio?
Maria Watch your mouth, or you gonna get yourself in a LOT of trouble, girlfriend.
Rosie You're just jealous 'cause you ain't got a MAN!
I don't know, some kind of chick fight. Elliot, wha' I do?
Elliot Well, that's easy, you gonna mark your territory. Show them who's boss!
Elliot Well, unless, of course, they're skunks.
(They bellow gas at him and runs to the river and washs him with some water, then drys himself with some rabbits)
The woods is no place for a bear!
Elliot I'm a little light-headed.
[His remaining antler cracks off]
[Boog is fighting with Elliot behind the curtains during his show; Boog's holding Elliot by his antler up to the wall]
You got me in enough trouble!
Elliot Hey. I, you saved my life. That means that you're responsible for me.
What? Stop messing up my life!
Elliot You needed to get out, you should thank me. [Crosses arms]
Thank you?!
Elliot [Now happy and smiling]
You're welcome, buddy!
[About Boog]
Hey, guys. Check it out. The largest carinvore in North America. The grizzly bear.
Elliot And he's a good dancer. We're gonna be in a show.I'm Starsky and he's Hutch!
Elliot You know, I've been thinkin', we should have a secret handshake, and, like, nicknames and stuff. Like, I can call you "Boogster," and you can call me "The Incredible Mr. E." You like that? I just made it up. You know, this is gonna be awesome. It's just you and me. Hey, who's the lady in the shorts?
Elliot Ian's right, I'm a loser.
No, you're not a loser.
Elliot Yes, I am!
No, you're not!
Elliot Yes!
No!
Elliot Trust me, you know the day I met you, Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck. What do you call that?
Ahhh... a loser! But check this out. Behold, the Mighty Grizzly! I look like a bear, I talk like a bear. But I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods!
Elliot That's nothin'! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
I ride a unicycle for crackers.
Elliot I have a glass eye.
I can't snap.
Elliot I thought log was a color.
I can't see my feet!
Elliot I killed a man (with this thumb)!
[both laugh]
Elliot [Stuck in the ground]
Okay, righty tighty.
Elliot [He turns right]
Leeefffttty loosey.
[He turns left]
Elliot [Explaining the woods to Boog]
Okay, Forest 101: These tall stick things are called trees. The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.
Is this a private fight or can anybody join? 'Cause McSquizzy wants in! [The Furry Tail Clan appear]
The Furry Tail Clan
Oy!
Good, 'cause we're gonna need your nuts!
Elliot And your acorns too!
[wakes up to discover he's in the woods]
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! [his scream echoes throughout the forest] Where's home?! It's gone! Someone stole it!
Elliot [Elliot comes out of the bag]
Hey. Would you keep it down? I'm tryin' to sleep here. [yawns in Boog's face; Boog shakes with fury]
YOU!
Elliot [Boog takes the bag off of him and walks over to a steep cliff]
No, I didn't do it!
[holding Elliot over the cliff]
Take a good look, Elliot. What do you see, Elliot? Something's missing. What is it, Elliot? What is it?!
Elliot Wait. Don't tell me...
TIMBERLINE IS MISSING!!
Elliot Aww! I was just gonna say that!
My garage is missin'! Breakfast, lunch and dinner are missing! My life is missing! And it's all... your... FAULT!!!
Elliot What're you gonna do? [Boog lets go of Elliot's antler; he falls, but Boog quickly grabs Elliot] AAAAAAHHHHH!!!... [Boog holds Elliot up; Elliot realizes he wasn't falling; chuckles] You're funny. I thought "maybe, then I was like uh-uh and then—"
[Boog throws Elliot over his shoulder]
Elliot [after seeing Boog's bowl with his name on it]
Oh! I get it! You're like a pet! [chuckles]
I ain't nobody's pet!
Elliot [holding Boog's bowl]
Right.
Elliot [helium voice]
That's Elliot.
[both laugh]
He's gonna blow our cover!
Mr. Weenie [Weenie stops growling as Elliot gives him a smile; Mr. Weenie sighs]
I've been living a lie! [rips off his shirt] Please... take me vith you!
Elliot Wow.
Elliot [when Boog asks where the toilets are in the forest]
Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot Go on. It's just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.
Elliot [Boog reluctantly goes over to the bush]
Show us your "grrr" face, nature boy!
Elliot I call them Woo-Hoos. Like in, "Woo-hoo!"
[After Boog accidentally destroys the beaver dam, looks around at the animals, realizing what he's completely done.] [to Boog]
You! You did this!
Animals
[All the forest animals angrily mutters and blames Boog]
Yeah, that's right!
What? What did I do?
You dragged us down to the hunting grounds!
Maria Yeah! Where are we gonna hide?!
Serge We're sitting ducks out here!
And it's open season!
Elliot Alright, alright! That's enough! Guys, it's not his fault.
Oh, you're right, Elliot. It's your fault.
Elliot My fault?
Yeah. lf it weren't for you l'd be home right now. None of this would've ever happened. You said you knew the way back, but you lied.
Elliot l... No. OK. Okay, maybe- l thought if you hung out with me then maybe you would like me.
Oh, man. I trusted you, Elliot.
Elliot I'm sorry, Boog, we...we're still partners, right?
You know what, Elliot, I'm better off alone.
What about us?
Animals
Yeah! What about us?
Us? There's no us. You're not my problem. (to Elliot) And you? We're done.
Elliot Wait, Boog, I...
DONE. (Boog storms off as the rain and storms begin, leaving the sadness animals.)
Okay, ladies. This dam ain't going to build itself. Lift that birch. Swing those pines over here. Come on. Move it. [whistles] Yo, O'Toole!
O'Toole: Yeah, boss?
I want you to cantilever that cedar on the bias down by the north end, you got that?!
O'Toole: Huh?
Um! Put the twig in the hole.
O'Toole: Oh.
Rookie. [whistles] Take five for lunch! Um, what do you got?
O'Toole: Wood. What do you got?
Wood. You want to trade? [O'Toole and he trade the woods] [gasps silently] Hey, hey, guys. Check it out. There goes the largest carnivore in North America. The mighty grizzly.
Elliot And he's a good dancer. We're going to be in a show. [Beavers look at themselves and laugh]
Elliot Ow, ow, ow. Hey, that's my good antler.
Elliot [scoffs]
Diva.
What?!
Elliot I understand what's going on here. You're a little crabby, because you're hungry.
I, I…
Elliot Hmm? Hmm? I think yes.
Woman
You know? I heard Boog got loose last night and he totally trashed the place.
Man
Really?
Woman
That's what happened.
There's something wrong going on here. [he sees Elliot walking around on two legs and drinking some coffee he found in a nearby dumpster] You? It walks... like a man! [Elliot screams in terror, as he began to flee, chases after Elliot] Hold still, you two-legged latte drinker.
Woman
[screams]
Look out!
Boog will have you eating out of his paw. [chuckles] Get it? Paw? Because he's a bear? [laughs] So, anyway.
Oh, man. Okay. Relax, Boog. You can do this. [notices Elliot] What the...?
Elliot [closes the door]
I gotta hide. I gotta hide.
What're you doing? Get out of here! Hey!
Elliot He's right behind me.
I knew it! That bear has corrupted my buck.
Elliot [screams]
Hide me!
Hello, "Smelliot." [laughs] I called him Smelliot. [all the deers laugh] Herd, circle formation! [The herd instead of it make an oval shape] You pinheads, that's an oval. More circle-y! [The herd make a circle shape] You got a lot of nerve coming back here.
Elliot Why, thank you.
That was not a compliment, mag-got!
Giselle Well. He was just going. Right, Elliot?
Elliot Yeah, Ian. I had to stop by and say hello to some of my old pals. Bob, Kevin. Jurgen, how’s the knee?
I told you to leave the herd, and never, ever, ever...
Elliot Never?
Never, ever, ever come back.
Elliot Back? I'm not... I’m not back. Me and my best buddy are heading to town. Yeah. I sure am going to miss you guys.
Off the upholstery! [he tosses Elliot into the air]
So as I was saying, never, ever, ever... [Boog then appears and roaring loudly] A bear! Bear. Bear. A bear.
Elliot? Are you all right?
Elliot [confused]
Buttermilk biscuits.
Deer
Hey, Ian, get a load of this.
Hey! Cut it out!
Oh, I've heard of you. You're that bear that got his butt thumped by a squirrel. Ooh.
It was... there was 20 of them. And they had nuts.
Elliot Don't listen to him, Boog.
Boog? What is that short for? Booger?
Deer
[Ian and the herd laugh]
Ha! Booger!
Listen, you.
I'm all ears.
Well…
Elliot Boog, let's go.
You two are perfect for each other. You're a loser and you're a loser-er. [the rest of the deer laugh] Herd, let's bound! Hey, Elliot. I think you lost something.
Giselle Maybe it will grow back. Bye, Elliot.
Elliot Yeah, see you.
See you later, backpack boy.
That's right, fool. You better run. Keep on prancin', you panty-waisted cow.
Elliot Huh. I guess I will be mounted on the wall.
[sighs]
Oh, no, you won't. Now, when I'm a bearskin rug, they can walk all over me. But until that happens, I ain't going out without a fight.
Animals
What? Fight? What he did say?
The F word?
That's right. If there's one thing you all have taught me. The woods is a messed-up, dangerous place. And you all are crazy. You've been kicking my butt for the last two days.
Animals
Yeah. Kind of did.
Serge I didn't.
Sorry.
So, let's do to them what you've been doing to me. Now, I say we give our guests the full outdoor experience.
Animals
Yeah.
Hey!
Ouch!
Is this a private fight or can anybody join? Because McSquizzy wants in. [The Furry Tail Clan appear]
The Furry Tail Clan
Oy!
Good. Because we'll need your nuts.
Elliot And your acorns too.
Giselle What's the plan, Boog?
Oh, we're going to run those yahoos back to town. Yeah, baby. When we get through with them, they won't ever come back.
Elliot, this is the same dang dam. We've been going in circles!
Elliot Cir-cle. [whispering] One time around.
Ugh! You don't even know where we go...!
(shoots from his gun to the tree. Boog and Elliot hide)
YO! Haa! Wa-hoo! Got them, Lorraine! Ha-ha! [imitates electric guitar, next he jumps into the truck]
[terrified]
What was that?! [he looks at the beavers]
Beaver O'Toole: [shocked] Hunters?! What're they doing up here?
Okay, boys. Take cover!
Elliot [beavers but Reilly jump into the water]
Boog, we got to hide.
I'm outta here! [he storms off, trying to cross the dam]
Elliot Boog? Boog, are you awake?
Elliot Awesome. I was watching you sleep last night and you were like a little angel. Except for you're fat and snoring like: [imitates snoring] We're gonna work on that, though. I invented this cure where you stick your whole hand in your mouth.
Beth?
Boog? [Boog licks her as she laughs] Oh, Boog.
What’s he doing?
Is he not going to maul her?
Elliot No. She's his mom. She's taking us home.
Everybody?
