Most scenes together: Tom & Soap (7), Eddie & Soap (5), Bacon & Soap (5)
Well, he can afford to do the deal at the price we're selling. It's not worth him giving us any trouble cause he knows we'll be a pain in the arse.
I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid.
You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles.
Tom, the fatter you get, the sadder you get.
Will you two stop flirting for a minute?
Charles,why have we got that cage?
Charles Uh,security.
That's right, that's right - security. So what's the point in having it if we're not goin' **** use it?
Charles Well I would've used it but this is Willie and Willie lives here.
Yes but you didn't know it was Willie until you opened the door did you?
Willie Chill Winston, it's me. Charlie knows it's me. What's the problem?
The problem Willie is that Charles and yourself are not the quickest of cats at the best of times. So just do as I say and keep the **** cage locked! What is that?
Willie That's Gloria.
Yes I know that's Gloria, what's that?
Willie Fertilizer.
You went out six hours to buy a money counter and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a bag of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing Willie.
Willie We need fertilizer Winston.
Mmmhmm. We also need a money counter. This money's got to be out by Thursday, I'm buggered if I'm gonna count it. Just make sure if you do need to buy sodding fertilizer could be a bit more subtle.
Willie What do you mean?
We grow copious amounts of ganja, yah? And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-****-culturist! That's what I mean Willie.
What the **** are YOU doing here?
Come on! Not now, please, not - [monitor goes off] Oh, you **** bastard.
A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.
Anyway, **** it. The battle is over and the war is won.
Cupid, stupid!
Get Nick, that greasy wop, shistos, pesevengi, gamouri Greek bastard, if he's stupid enough to still be on this planet.
Guns for a show, knives for a pro
Hello boy, feeling a bit poorly? I know your friends are responsible for most of the cash so I'm gonna give you one week to find it. Otherwise I will take a finger of each of you and your friends' hands for everyday that passes without payment. And then when you run out of digits, your dad's bar and who knows what then. All right, my son?
I **** hate traffic wardens
I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past!
If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.
If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those shooters. Quick!
If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya. Now, Mr. Bubble-and-Squeak, you may enlighten me.
