Barry the Baptist If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those shooters. Quick!
Played by Lenny McLean 
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) · 79 quotes
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) · 79 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998): in 12 of its 79 quotes
Most scenes with: Gary (4)
When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.
More lines from Barry the Baptist
5 quotes Barry the Baptist Barry the Baptist Lock, stock, the ****in' lot.
Barry the Baptist [Trying to stop his monitor switching off]
Come on! Not now, please, not - [monitor goes off] Oh, you **** bastard.
Barry the Baptist Hello boy, feeling a bit poorly? I know your friends are responsible for most of the cash so I'm gonna give you one week to find it. Otherwise I will take a finger of each of you and your friends' hands for everyday that passes without payment. And then when you run out of digits, your dad's bar and who knows what then. All right, my son?
Barry the Baptist No mortgages, no debts – lock, stock, the **** lot.
Scenes with Barry the Baptist
6 scenes
Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shots?
Barry the Baptist Oh, you must be the brains then. Yes, that's right, guns that fire shots.
Barry What the **** are YOU doing here?
Barry the Baptist **** northern monkeys!
I hate these **** southern fairies!
So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for?
Barry the Baptist You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know.
I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it? Like one of them James Bond films.
Barry the Baptist Careful. Remember who's giving you this job.
Barry the Baptist Hello son, would you like a lolly?
Little Chris
Piss off, you nonce!
Barry the Baptist (points at Gary's hair)
Oi, is your hair supposed to look like that? Alright, short stuff?
Dean Never mind short stuff. Listen, the next time we do a job like this we gonna want more money Barry, or we are going back to post offices and cars, **** that. (opens the trunk with the guns)
Barry the Baptist Where's the others?
Dean There we no others.
Barry the Baptist Stop **** around. The others, the old ones?
Dean I don't know what you mean.
Barry the Baptist There were two old guns there. Where're they now?
Dean Not in the cabinet there wasn't. There was a couple of old hammer-lock muskets the butler was carrying, but they were ours - were sold 'em!
Barry the Baptist Well you better un-sell 'em, sharpish.
Dean We had to sell 'em, we needed the money!
Barry the Baptist I'm not **** interested! If you don't want to be countin' the fingers you haven't got, or sharing a bed with the Anti-Christ, I want those guns! QUICK!
Dean ...Alright, Barry. Calm down. We'll get them, alright?
Barry the Baptist Now **** off, you scouse ****s!
