Ape quotes from George of the Jungle (1997)

View Quote Ape: I'm hungry.
Thor: Oh, shut up! You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm getting mad enough to...
Ape: You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?
Max: Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape.
Ape: That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance.
Max: Give him a banana, Thor. Won't be long now.
Thor: That's what you said yesterday. This trail's taking us to the middle of nowhere!
[Ape snickers]
Max: The sign at the trail head said "Shortcut to Ape River". Now, why would it say "shortcut" if it wasn't a... [Realizes something] Wait a minute. Maybe it's a fake. A decoy trail.
Ape: Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake. It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the treehouse.
Thor: Ohhh! Oh, I knew we was lost!
Max: Don't listen to him, Thor. He's just trying to trick us, lead us off the shortcut so we take twice as long on the regular trail.
Thor: We're already taking twice as long!
Max: Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of you?
Thor: What?
Ape: Du-u-u-uh!
Max: Let's go. If he tells us the shortcut leads to the treehouse, then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.

View Quote Thor: Max, look. We're back at the treehouse.
Ape: Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me.
Max: Oh, no!
Narrator: "Oh, no!" was right, for the exhausted ape-nappers--
Thor: Hey! Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like, what should we do now?
Narrator: Because I don't like you!
Thor: Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a--!
Narrator: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. [Makes a loud crashing noise; everything else fast forwards for a few seconds] Having some fun now, hmm?
Max: Thor, were you fighting with the narrator?
Thor: Well, he started it.
Narrator: Did not.
Thor: You did too!
Narrator: Did not!
Thor: You did too!
Narrator: Did not!
Thor: You did too!
Max: Thor, stop it!

View Quote Max: Let's take care of him.
[Max and Thor pick George up and ram him]
George: Huh?
Ape: WHOA!
[George's head is wedged into the cage]
Ape: Why didn't you come sooner?
George: Why Ape have little stars around head?
[Max and Thor pull George out, tickle him, and ram his head back in]
Ape: George, remember everything I told you about Queensbury rules and fighting fair?
George: Uh-huh.
Ape: Well, now's a good time to forget it.
Max: Let's finish him off.
[George kicks Max and Thor in the groins]
Thor: Oh, I can't breathe, Max!
Max Let it out, Thor, let it out!

View Quote [at George and Ursula's wedding]
Mrs. Stanhope: Arthur, I wish you could do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
Ape: Madam, I knew Jane Goodall, and you are no Jane Goodall.

View Quote Ape: "George's Secrets." There's the shortest book ever written.
Kwame: [to Lyle] He says he likes your Magic Picture, but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 millimeter transparencies. [laughs]. He also says, That your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you… [laughs].
Spectators on boat: Watch out for that- [George smacks into tugboat pilothouse] Ooh...!

View Quote [as Thor aims his rifle at Shep the elephant, Ape roars and jumps out of the treehouse to the ground]
Ape: Run, Shep! Run for your life!
Max: Did that monkey just speak?
Thor: That monkey just spoke.
Ursula Stanhope: I knew it.
Lyle: He talked.
Max: [to Thor] Shoot it now.
Ape: [turns and notices Max and Thor] Hmm?
Max: [lowers Thor's rifle] With the tranquilizer gun, idiot. The ape's worth a fortune.
George: NOOOOOOOO! [runs towards Ape]
Lyle Van de Groot: [Aims his handgun at George] Stop, or I'll shoot! [in slow motion, Lyle inaudibly yells, "I mean it!" before he shoots George]
Ape: NOOOOOOOO!
Lyle Van de Groot: NOOOOOOOO!
Ursula: GEOOOOOOOORGE! [fade to white]
Narrator: Whew! Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.

View Quote [Max and Thor arrive at the tree house to capture Ape]
Thor: There's five stinking apes out there. Which one are we taking to (Las) Vegas?
Ape: Checkmate!
Max: The one who's playing chess!