Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in George of the Jungle (1997): in 10 of its 39 quotes
Most scenes with: Narrator (3), Kwame (3), N'Dugo (3)
Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning.
It was horrible. An almost 400-pound white ape man. The White Ape has my girlfriend. I held him off as long as I could. There's blood everywhere. The White Ape got my girlfriend. He weighs 400-pounds! The White Ape got my girlfriend! The White Ape got...help! Help! Man needs help!
No hard feelings, Stonebelly. The best man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the guy who brought mercenaries won; that's all.
Ursula! God, this trail's really rough.
Drop him! You're not his donkey. [Mimics Lyle] "Ursula! Ursula!" [Swahili] Next cliff we pass, he's history.
Hey, come back here.
They're not abandoning us, are they?
They are threatening.
If you don't mind, Kwame, I have a knack for getting the most out of my employees. Do you mind if I address the porters?
They only speak Swahili.
Well, I just happen to have a Swahili phrase book.
Be my guest.
Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But, if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams, we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning. [The porters laugh. Lyle speaks English] I think our troubles are over.
Tell them I'll pay 50 zamoles a man if they'll help me capture the White Ape and bring him back alive.
Alive? After he...uh...well, he pulled Ursula's scrunchy off. We know that much.
50 zamoles a man. What do you say?
They only speak Swahili.
Hey, wait a second...
Done.
[The porters laugh again]
The very next morning, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close... [Lyle gets hit by random tree branches] ...that is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's... [wryly] sleeping bag.
That's it! I've had it! I am the richest, smartest, handsomest guy here, so I get to go first! [suddenly trips and falls face first into elephant feces] There's an elephant around here.
Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?
Ready!
Those were nowhere near properly digested! In case anybody's wondering, I'm okay. [Max and Thor laugh along with the porters] Have you cleaned my lighter yet?
Meanwhile, Kwame and his men faced the next-to-impossible task of picking out George's assailant from a line-up of the usual suspects.
No. No. Too short. Too sweaty. [Sees Lyle, but doesn't recognize him at first] Wait a second. That's the guy. That's the guy who shot him. I never forget a face.
Me?
[N'Dugo and the two men, recognizing Lyle, laugh loudly]
So now there were two lions and the White Ape. A minute ago, there was only one.
Hey! The important thing, Kwame, is that I was outnumbered.
N'Dugo: [in Swahili] It's easy to be outnumbered when you're a zero.
N'Dugo: [Mocking Lyle in Swahili] "I was on a bridge like this in Maui, and it was steady as a rock". [grunts]
They probably think I'm the biggest jerk they've ever seen in their lives. I'll bet they're thinking of something evil to do to me.
That guy's the biggest jerk I've ever seen in my life.
Let's think of something evil to do to him. [N'Dugo grunts]
There you go! Y' like magic pictures? Yet another gift from America.
N'Dugo: [Mocking Lyle in Swahili]
Translation, please.
He says he likes your "magic pictures", but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 millimeter transparencies. He also says, that your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you… [all except Lyle laugh].
Run, Shep! Run for your life!
Did that monkey just speak?
That monkey just spoke.
I knew it.
He talked.
NOOOOOOOO! [runs towards Ape]
Stop, or I'll shoot! [in slow motion, Lyle inaudibly yells, "I mean it!" before he shoots George]
NOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOO!
GEOOOOOOOORGE! [fade to white]
Whew! Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.
