L Lyle
[Lyle, Max, Thor, Kwame and his men are searching for Ursula. N'Dugo is holding Lyle on his back]
Ursula! God, this trail's really rough.
ND N'Dugo
[Swahili]
Drop him! You're not his donkey. [Mimics Lyle] "Ursula! Ursula!" [Swahili] Next cliff we pass, he's history.
L Lyle
[He and his men start going in another direction]
Hey, come back here.
Max
They're not abandoning us, are they?
Kwame
They are threatening.
L Lyle
If you don't mind, Kwame, I have a knack for getting the most out of my employees. Do you mind if I address the porters?
Kwame
They only speak Swahili.
L Lyle
Well, I just happen to have a Swahili phrase book.
Kwame
Be my guest.
L Lyle
[Lyle reads the book and says random Swahili phrases. The subtitles reveal what he's saying] [Swahili]
Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But, if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams, we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning. [The porters laugh. Lyle speaks English] I think our troubles are over.
Max
Tell them I'll pay 50 zamoles a man if they'll help me capture the White Ape and bring him back alive.
L Lyle
Alive? After he...uh...well, he pulled Ursula's scrunchy off. We know that much.
Max
50 zamoles a man. What do you say?
Kwame
They only speak Swahili.
ND N'Dugo
[English]
100 zamoles a man and you got a deal.
L Lyle
[Shocked]
Hey, wait a second...
Max
Done.
[The porters laugh again]
Narrator
[Lyle, Max, Thor, Kwame and his men are searching for Ursula]
The very next morning, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close... [Lyle gets hit by random tree branches] ...that is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's... [wryly] sleeping bag.
L Lyle
That's it! I've had it! I am the richest, smartest, handsomest guy here, so I get to go first! [suddenly trips and falls face first into elephant feces] There's an elephant around here.
ND N'Dugo
Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?
L Lyle
[they all throw their heads back and laugh at Lyle; a monkey, watching nearby, laughs with them; Lyle gets up, spitting out the feces]
Those were nowhere near properly digested! In case anybody's wondering, I'm okay. [Max and Thor laugh along with the porters] Have you cleaned my lighter yet?
ND N'Dugo
[in Swahili]
One moment, you blonde-haired baboon.
[the porters laugh again]
Narrator
[After Lyle shot George, he is put into a prison line-up of random African people. Kwame, N'Dugo, and the other two men are looking at them]
Meanwhile, Kwame and his men faced the next-to-impossible task of picking out George's assailant from a line-up of the usual suspects.
ND N'Dugo
No. No. Too short. Too sweaty. [Sees Lyle, but doesn't recognize him at first] Wait a second. That's the guy. That's the guy who shot him. I never forget a face.
L Lyle
Me?
[N'Dugo and the two men, recognizing Lyle, laugh loudly]
