John Leguizamo movie quotes

View Quote [singing] Stop, hey, what's that sound, all the mammoths are in the ground! (Parody of Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth")

View Quote [last lines] I saved you, little buddy! [when Scrat attacks him] I-I saved you, little buddy! Remember, I.. Ow! Ow! Ow! OW!

View Quote [After dodo bird gets fried by geyser] I just did something involuntary, and messy.

View Quote Why?! Doesn't anyone love me? Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

View Quote I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

View Quote Hey, I'm a sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf, that's my tracking.

View Quote Hey! There really is a rainbow around every corner!

View Quote Deep down I knew I wasn't abandoned.

View Quote But, We fought dinosaurs in the ice age! It made no sense, but it was exciting!

View Quote What is wrong with me? Everybody has somebody, and all I've got is my boyish good looks and this Mariachi band.

View Quote [tied with Granny after doing yoga] Could you help me please? My nose is dangerously close to my butt.

View Quote Sid: I need to ask you something. Will you marry...?
Francine: Sid, I'm going to stop you right there. I'm breaking up with you!
Sid: What?! But I planned our future! Our wedding, [the camera pans over to a wedding service with empty seats] Our kids, [then shows their "kids" that are made of melons and mud sculptures] "Mommy!" ...Our burial plots...
Beaver: [digs up two holes for their burials] How you doin'?
Sid: I even hired a band! [Sid's Mariachi Band rise up instrumental notes] No, no! Not yet!
Francine: Are you crazy? We've only had one date. It lasted 14 minutes!
Sid: Yes. But it felt like 20. [shows her a ring in his sea shell]
Francine: Ugh! I can't! A ring? I mean I like the ring, but no. I can't, you're too clingy.
Sid: [zoom out to show Francine piggybacking Sid on her back] How is this clingy?
Francine: [takes off Sid off of her back] And by the way, you look nothing like your profile picture. [walking away and muttering to herself] Francine, you gotta start dating outside of your species...
Sid: We can work this out! Is this because of the bikini? [gets a leaf thrown at his face]

View Quote [talking to Mommy Dinosaur about the kids] I say “They’re vegetarians”, you say “Grr”. I say “Can we talk about this?”, you say “Grr”. I don't call that communication. [Mommy Dinosaur angrily growls at him] See that? That's your answer to everything.

View Quote And I'm better off alone, by myself. A fortress of solitude, in the ice, forever. A lone, lonely, loner.

View Quote This is the end of Sid the Sloth! [falls down lava falls]

View Quote I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're goin'.

View Quote Anything is possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!

View Quote [before he and Mario get their mugshots taken] Hey, yo, Mario, look. I grew an inch!

View Quote Sid: Ho, ho, ho!

View Quote Sid: [sniffles] Why am I on Santa's naughty list?! Why, why?!
Diego: My guess - because it doesn't have a loser list.

View Quote [Manny and Ellie have found Peaches in the North Pole]
Manny: Peaches, you... [suddenly mad] ...Are so grounded!
Peaches: Sorry, Daddy.
Manny: I was talkin' to Sid!
Sid: [cowering behind Peaches] Sorry, Daddy.

View Quote Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I. I made it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used Gindrogac. Highly unstable. I put a button on it. Yes. I wish to press it, but I'm not sure what will happen if I do.

View Quote I finished my nap!

View Quote Hmmm... spaghetti derivative... meatballs, sort of anyway... and... ooh, Kaldorf droppings! Who ate it before you did?

View Quote Clean yourself off you bourgeois pig! (snorts)

View Quote Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know what love is, only because I long for it with every fiber of my being. She loves you, I know it, I know she loves you.

View Quote The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

View Quote Jacob: And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you. You're a short... Hey, get outta there. You're in my landing space.
John: Man!
Rat #2: See if you land on your feet, road kill.
John: Why don't you bloodsucking vermin take a break, all right?
Rat #1: Mmm. Bloodsucking.
Jacob: Look out below.
John: Hey, Lucky, come on.
Lucky: Come on what?
John: Come on. We gotta go up there.
Lucky: Are you crazy? That's a tiger.
Jacob: I'm jumping now. Don't try and stop me.
John: Will you come on?
Lucky: Coming right up. One order of man, side of dog.
Drunk Monkey: I need a drink.
Jacob: Good-bye, cruel world. Oh, no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. Ha. One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing.
John: Hi.
Jacob: Hey, who are you?
John: I'm Dolittle.
Jacob: Yeah, well, get out of here. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm gonna jump.
John: Hey, whoa, whoa. Take it easy now. Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you.
Jacob: I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle. I'm a train wreck. I have headaches, nausea. The worst thing is this double vision. Ah, what's the use? It's not like anybody cares about tigers anyway, you know.
John: Now stop, you're being silly. Listen, there have been lots and lots and lots of lovable tigers.
Jacob: Yeah? Name one.
Lucky: [short silence] How about Tony?
John: Tony the cereal tiger?
Lucky: What? I didn't hear you come up with anything.
John: [snaps his fingers and claps] Oh! Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky III? [singing off-key] "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the da-da-da..." That one from Rocky III when Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat Mr. T. Then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. He went back and beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger". Because of that song. It moved him inside. Not "Eye of the Moose", not "Eye of the Bull," "Eye of the Tiger".
Jacob: That's it. I'm jumping.
John: No, no, no, don't jump--!
Rat #2: [from the ground] Just jump, ya big p****!
Rat #1: Come on, ya little scaredy cat!
Rat #2: I'll catch ya! Not! [laughs]
John: Didn't I say take a break?! [screams]
Rat #1: All right, Doc! Then you jump!
[rats laughing]
Jacob: Why do you want to help me?
John: Because I'm the only one who can. I don't know, maybe it's my destiny. And maybe it's your destiny to be the one tiger that everybody remembers. Why else would I be here talking to you?
Jacob: Cause the drunk monkey can't keep his mouth shut.
John: Are you gonna let me help?
Jacob: What if you can't?
John: If I can't help, then you can eat me and Lucky.
Lucky: Yeah. Or just him.
Jacob: Really? Will you take me back to the circus?
John: I will take you back to the circus.
Jacob: All right. But don't think I wasn't gonna jump, because I was. Uhh! Sure hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.
Lucky: Good job, Doc. Although, you got to admit seeing a tiger jump five stories would've been really, really cool.
Jacob: I heard that.

View Quote Jacob: This is where you work?
John: Come on.
Jacob: Oh!
Rat #1: Don't throw that away. That's the marrow. It's the best part of the bone.
Rat #2: Look who's here.
Rat #1: Well, if it isn't Siegfried and Roy.
John: Keep it quiet. Lucky, keep an eye out. You rats help him.
Rat #1: Hey, we don't work for you.
John: Give me a break. I saved your life.
Rat #1: That's yesterday's news. Take a hike.
[rats laughing]
Rat #1: You want gratitude? Get a hamster.
Rat #2: "Get a hamster." You kill me! Get a hamster!
Lucky: I gotta get help.
Policeman: Yeah, I got a plate I.D. on the catnapper.
Female Pigeon: Do something!
Male Pigeon: The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk.
Female Pigeon: A chicken hawk!
Male Pigeon: The heart of a hawk! Aah!
Female Pigeon: Oh.
Rodney: [sings] I Feel good! Na, na, na, na. Like I knew that I would! That feels good. Ohh!

View Quote [ringing tone]
John: Come on. Pick up the phone. Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up!
Sam: Dr. Litvack.
John: Hello, Sam! How are you? Hi! It's John Dolittle.
Sam: John?
John: Hey, how you doing? Nice to talk to you. So, enjoying your summer?
Sam: Jeez, it's really late, John. It's one o'clock in the morning.
John: Is it really one o'clock in the morning? Wow! I didn't realise it was that late. I'm sorry. I'm on my way into town. I was wondering if you wanted to get together for a drink or a CAT scan or something.
Sam: A CAT scan? Can it wait until morning?
"I Love You" Dog: I love you.
John: No, I have to come right now.
[tires screech, car alarm chirps]
Rat #1: What's your problem?
Rat #2: Your face.
Rat #1: I'll hit you so hard, you'll see ten more of me.
Rat #2: It already smells like ten more of you so just bring it on, cheese-eater. Come on. Bring it on. I'll tear you to pieces. I'll claw you.
Rat #1: Man, you are tempting fate now, buddy.
Rat #2: Right here, fat boy. Put it right here. I'll murderise you.
Rat #1: Stick 'em up, stick 'em up, you little rat.
Rat #2: Hey, come here, you gerbil. Ow!
Rat #1: Hey, what are you looking at?
John: Me?
Rat #1: Yeah, you. Who else, buddy?
John: I'm looking at a couple of greasy rats fighting over garbage.
Rat #1: Greasy?
Rat #2: Come here and say that, you four-eyed dufus biped! I'll get bubonic on your a**. Come here. Come as you are.
John: Oh, really? What if I take that light bulb there, put it between your butt cheeks and make a rodent lamp out of you?
[rats squeaking]
John: How about that, huh? How about that? Let me tell you something. I'm a human. I'm a human. Hey, i'm sorry. Sam, how are you? How are you? Thanks for coming down, Sam. Thanks for coming down.
[rats snickering]
Sam: There's no abnormalities of any kind.
John: All right, then.
Sam: Why are you hearing animal voices?
John: Exactly. Why do I think I'm hearing animal voices if everything is fine? I tell you, Sam, I don't want to wind up like one of these street guys, talking to myself with dirt under my fingernails and stinking with my hair all matted. It's not a cool look.
Sam: Have you been under any unusual stress lately?
John: Not really. I got the Calnet thing. My wife's been giving me a hard time about that, but that can't be it.
Sam: No, that's small potatoes.
John: I did hit a dog the other day.
Sam: Oh, my God. A dog?
John: Hey, Sam, make me feel worse, huh?
Sam: Well, I'm sorry, but a little doggie?
John: The dog was fine. It got up and ran off.
Sam: He was injured?
John: He felt well enough to scream out bonehead before he left.
Sam: John, the dog couldn't have spoken to you.
John: Well, Sam, with all due respect...
Sam: No, John. The dog did not speak to you.
John: Maybe you're right. I'm sorry I woke you up for this. Thanks, Sam.

View Quote [Cholo notices a Zombie Gardener outside of Dead Reckoning] I know for a fact that if it wasn't for this truck I wouldn't be any different to that poor Mexican bastard out there.

View Quote There's only three things a man should do when he's alone, be born, die, and we all know the other thing...

View Quote [Cholo has been bitten and Foxy asks him if he'd rather be shot] Nah, I've always wanted to see how the other half lives.

View Quote You can't win with a perfect defence.

View Quote [to Telemachus in sword combat training] You don't need eyes to hear a hasty combination.

View Quote [before locking Melanthius in the armory] I told you! Too loud, cowherd!

View Quote Hey, remember me? Benny Blanco From The Bronx?

View Quote My name is Benny Blanco from the Bronx.

View Quote You’re over, man. You’re ****in’ in the history books. That’s where you are, man. So you might as well ****in’ kill me now, ‘cause if I ever see you again, swear to god, I’m gonna **** kill you.

View Quote Abuela worried about the magic. So she begged me to look into the future. See what it meant. And I saw the magic in danger, our house breaking, and then I saw you... But the vision was different. It...it would change and there was no one answer, no clear fate. Like your future was undecided, but I knew how it was gonna look, I knew what everyone would think because I'm Bruno and everyone always assumes the worst. So...

View Quote Mirabel Madrigal: Have you been in here patching the cracks?
Bruno Madrigal: Oh, that? No, no, no. I'm too scared to go near those things. All the patching's done by Hernando.
Mirabel Madrigal: Who is Hernando?
[Bruno pulls his hood over his eyes]
Bruno Madrigal: I'm Hernando, and I'm scared of nothing! [He pulls his hood off] It's actually me. I used to say my real gift was "acting". [laughs nervously, then puts a bucket over his head] I'm Jorge. I make the spackle.
Mirabel Madrigal: [after a long pause] How long have you been back here?

View Quote Bruno Madrigal: She didn't do this! Whoa! She didn't do this! I gave her a vision! It was me! I was, like, "Go!" and she was, like, [blows raspberry] She only wanted to help! I don't care what you think of me, but if you're too stubborn to... [gets hugged by Abuela] To...
Alma Madrigal: Brunito.
Bruno Madrigal: I feel like I missed something important.
Mirabel Madrigal: Come on!
[Bruno gets kissed by Abuela and brings them to the horse]
Bruno Madrigal: What... What's happening? Where are we going?
Mirabel Madrigal: Phew. Home.
Bruno Madrigal: Oh, ahh!

View Quote Hey Bish... Bish... Bish... Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish... BISH!

View Quote Rosen: Your eyes are red. You been smokin' crack?
Beck: Your eyes are glazed. You been eatin' donuts?