[gasps]
Crikey! [gasps] Good gravy, Buck. What have you done? All right, mammals. Time to get moving. Now let's not linger on this, but yes... I read the tablet wrong. The asteroid is a lot closer. Uh-oh.
Wait a second. Where's Granny? Granny? Oh, Granny?
Maybe she got hit in the head with a puck?
Yes! And maybe she was abducted by homicidal 30-foot dino-birds seeking revenge on me. All good theories. I'm going to go with the puck.
I knew it! So this whole time we've been chased by giant dino-birds?
Oh, only three! I didn't want to damage morale.
Right. Because before this, we were on a carefree pleasure cruise.
Wait a second. [sniffs] I've got her scent. Come on!
Mammals, we've made it! The crash site. This must be what's left of the previous asteroid.
We could definitely divert the asteroid with a magnet that size! I mean that thing is enormous. It's massive, it's...
Going to be impossible to get off the ground!
It's entirely possible. In a way that we don't know about yet.
But what about the dino-birds?
Oh, Granny. My sweet, malicious Granny. Why does it always have to be the old ones who go first? Why? I can still hear her sweet, shrill voice... shrieking from the afterlife.
And she's in trouble!
[The animals rushes to search for Granny.]
I got you. Don't worry, I got you. There you are. There. Say "hi," everyone.
How can he tell it's a she?
Such a good little poochie-woochie.
Just to be clear, that's a pumpkin, right?
She has a little jaundice, but I think she'll be okay. Yes, you will. I think I'll call you... Bronwyn.
Um, little buddy? We need you back on planet Earth. While it's still here. Okay?
Right you are, mammal. Who wants to save the world from the fiery asteroid? You do!
Mmm... Okay, mammals. Let's stop here for the night.
Stop? What about the whole end-of-the-world collision thing?
Oh, asteroid's still a day off. And like my grandfather used to say... [mimics his 'grandfather'] "Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Purple sky at night, who moved my foot cream? I need my foot cream." [normal] Grampy was a confused and angry weasel.
D Digeo
You are so funny, J.
Stop! You're funny. Take it easy, my brother from a tiger mother.
What was what? Oh, that! It's a cool way to peace out. Julian taught it to me.
Well, I'm glad the apocalypse is bringing you together.
He's a good kid, Manny. I like his philosophy. Give him a chance. Bond with him.
[singing]
♪So light 'em up, up, up♪ ♪Light 'em up, up, up♪ ♪Light 'em up, up, up♪ ♪I'm on fire!♪
Bonding! That's a good idea!
You take Julian. I got an idea for Peaches.
Oh, hey, Bro-Dad. You here to rock out?
Okay. Instead of that... how about a game before bedtime?
No way! You want to play a game with me? Wow! What is honored times 1,000? No! Times one million? 'Cause whatever that equals is how honored I am.
Yes, that's a "yes." It's the most "yes"! It's like "yes" with a bunch of s's... so it's like "yessssssssssssssssssss."
Great! [toss him his hockey stick] I'll see you on the ice! Happy?
So, do you think you're ready to go out roaming on your own?
I won't be alone. I'll have Julian.
Sure. But with asteroids flying, no home to speak of and absolutely no support system, do you think you'll be ready for... this?
I'm a wittle baby. [crying]
Imagine. You're in the woods, looking for food and your baby gets sick. What do you do?
No! Jiggling makes her feel worse!
[singing]
♪La-la-la-la.♪ Ah! [crying]
Oh, no! Now your older toddler has a skinned knee and a stuffy nose.
Now your babies are crying. You have no food and then you come face to face with a rabid beast!
[growling]
I am a rabid beast who gives rabies to babies. [roaring]
And there's an arsonist on the loose.
Granny [laughing]
How are you going to handle all this without our help?
CA Crash and Eddie
[crying]
[screams] [groans]
Oh! Huh?
Well, that's just the easy stuff. There's a lot more we still need to cover.
Uh... Baby made a poopie.
[spits]
I'm a method actor, so I will need to be changed.
[singing]
♪And if that pterodactyl don't fly.♪ ♪Daddy's gonna blind his remaining eye♪ [yawns] Sweet dreams, little one.
Lucky pumpkin! It must be nice to have a loving father. Whoo. Okay, here we go. You can do this, Roger. Yay! Kidnapping! Look, I'm sorry. It's not me. I would never do something like this. It's my father. He's crazy.
I can't believe he pulled it off! Way to go, dum-dum!
Whatever! I could've done the same thing.
Well, well. Looks like you're not stopping that asteroid now, are you, weasel?
That's not the weasel. That's... I don't know what that is.
Whoa! Is it my time, angel?
I'm coming to the light. Can't wait to see all those dead relatives I hate.
Ahh! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
Ahh! Demon angel! Mess with Granny, get knocked on your fanny.
And that's how it's done.
Hello? Angel? Am I in heaven? It's so dark and squishy in here.
[from offscreen in Gavin's stomach]
Oh, no! I can still see the light.
[Gavin panicks and eventually gets a beating by Granny inside]
Pop! I'll save you.
[The Dino birds scream while Gavin punches Granny in the nose.]
Oh, well. Probably for the best.
Bad news! Somebody up there doesn't like us. We're six minutes behind schedule!
Double time, everyone. We need that big crystal.
MA Manny and Julian
[gasping]
Ooh. I'll put out the sponge cake.
Sorry about this. I'm really conflicted right now.
That's more like it, Roger. Now finish him.
Wait! Wait, you don't understand. You see that? If that asteroid hits, we all die.
[mocking]
If it hits, we all die. [crying then laughing] That's where you're wrong. See, while you run for your mammal lives, we'll be high in the sky...[scaredy angrily] cruising above it all.
[In Buck's head...]
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
We'll be as safe as those little birdies. [One meteor hits a bird] Lucky shot. [More meteors hit more birds] Very lucky shot? [A giant meteor hits Earth]
I knew it. I was right. There's no paradise.
What? I'm too young to go extinct! [screams]
She gets it! Now, please, we haven't got much time!
What are you waiting for? Kill him!
[steps in]
No, Dad. I won't let you. Do you want to know what I love about our family? That we're alive. There are more important things than your pride right now. If you care about us... you should not kill him. You should help him, Dad.
Pop, I hate to say this, but my freaky little brother may be right.
As a father, I would work with my worst enemy... to ensure a brighter future for my little one.
Listen up, planetary defense team. Step one, build pressure inside the volcano by sealing the vents. No steam can escape. If there's a leak... the pressure is weak. Step two, get the biggest magnetic crystals into the volcano. They've got to be launched sky high to pull the asteroid off course.
CA Crash and Eddie
Rah rah! Sis boom bah! Tell that asteroid "Uh-uh."
Hash tag. What does hash tag mean?
Hash tag. I don't know, but it sounds cool!
Hash tag. I'm starting to get sick of it!
This is it, friends. Down the hatch. Every crystal counts.
Good news, everyone! We're six minutes ahead of schedule.
Somebody up there likes us.
Reinforcements have arrived!
All right, Roger. Lead the way.
Oh! So that's what approval sounds like.
Keep it up, dinos. Use that Jurassic super strength! Beep, beep, beep.
[gasping]
I'll push it in. Go with Peaches and Ellie! [grunting]
No! I'm not leaving you! We'll do this together!
Ellie, we've got to get everyone off the volcano.
Folks, I'm outta cake, but I got salami!
I'm outta cake, but I got salami!
[grunting]
This isn't working.
Mad air on the half-pipe! Manny, I have a plan! We have to let the crystal go!
You know we're trying to get it in the volcano, right?
Manny, the only thing I want is a life with Peaches. And to prove myself to you. So, okay, two things. I want two things. Do you really think I'd waste the only chance I have left?
On my count. One... Two... Three!
MA Manny and Julian
[grunting]
Yes! I take back everything I ever said about you!
Now let's get out of here!
Maybe it's the quiet before the crazy?
In your face, space rock!
CA Crash and Eddie
[singing]
Hit the road, you stupid rock. We just stopped the doomsday clock!
Bring it in, Bro-Son. Welcome to the family. And you, you coconut! I'll never doubt you again.
See? Daddy's always right. Remember that when you're older.
It's a beautiful day out here on the ice as father meets daughter in a quest for hockey supremacy.
It's Peaches meets Manny.
The blazing mammoth takes it on the breakaway. There's never been a player so tough, so graceful.
He fakes right. He fakes left.
He fakes knowing how to play. What's wrong? Lose something?
CA Crash and Eddie
Hey, what's that stink I smell out there? It's Manny! Hey, hey. It's Manny! Whoo! You stink!
Okay, Fuzzball. Let's see what you got.
Yes! She dominates! Again.
Oh, please. I went easy on you. It's called good parenting.
Yeah, right. Face it. I rule the ice now.
Oh, you talk a big game, hotshot. All right, how about best of three?
Whoo-hoo! Yes! Touchdown! Wait, no, that's not right. Not touchdown. What is it? Uh, hole-in-one! Whoo!
Honey, I scored! Did you see me?
Yeah! And you were amazing.
Oh, the ice is really icy. It's like super-sized, extra value icy. But I'm getting better, right?
Okay, we'll play... later.
So, she whupped your butt again, huh?
And with a butt that size, that's a whole lot of whuppin'.
Nobody was whupped. There was no whupping. It's just a loving father sharing some strategy with his only daughter.
Didn't know sucking was a strategy.
Let's show them how it's done!
Ta-ta-da-da! For you, my mom-in-law-to-be. Buttercups! Nature's sunshine.
Isn't sunshine nature's sunshine?
Aw! Thank you, Julian. It's been so long since anyone's given me flowers. But you're marrying our daughter. You don't have to keep bringing us presents.
But it makes me happy. And for you, my guru, my rock, my main mammoth! To you, I give the greatest gift of all.
Wait. What are you doing?
Come on, Bro-Dad. Bring it in.
Oh! I can feel your heart beating.
Okay. That's enough of that.
You better get used to it. They'll be living right next door.
Come on, Julian. Wanna go?
Actually, weren't you gonna help me with the thing?
Oh! Right. The thing. Gotta do the thing.
Hey! Why don't you go do a guy thing? You know, you don't spend nearly enough time with your friends.
I'll see you later. () On this special day.
Have you told them about our decision yet?
No. I'm waiting for the right time.
Come on, Romeo. Walk with me. I'm gonna watch some butterflies come out of their cocoons.
Aw! I remember when Manny and I used to be like that.
Not me! Love them and leave them, and take half of everything. That's my motto.
What are you doing, Buck?
All rocks tell a tale. [licks a rock] Where we've been and where we're heading.
CA Crash and Eddie
[gasping]
That, however, is a turd.
Julian... I want you to know that if we don't make it...if we never get married...you were the only one for me.
Hey, come on! Of course we'll make it, and we will get married.
But maybe it's the universe telling us we won't.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You're going to let one tiny little 300-mile-wide asteroid ruin your plans?
How can we think about our future when we may not have one?
Hey, we're going to stop this thing, and you'll get married. Bada-bing, bada-boom! Well, not boom. Forget I said boom. [gasps] I know! I'll be your wedding planner! It'll take your mind off all this end-of-the-world stuff.
Actually, we were just gonna wing it! Keep it low-key.
[shocked]
What? [on Julian's tusks] Peaches, Peaches. Sweetheart, you don't just wing the happiest day of your life! No, you seize it, and you cherish it. You strangle it with good intentions. [hops back down to the ground] Ooh. Let's start with your hair. Undo with a top bun? Traditional. Or updo with a fishtail braid. Flirtatious. [Crash giggles] But maybe a little trashy.
And garter belts! Today, Ed is modeling laced daisies. While Crash is rocking a more elegant ivy... that's all about the calves. Ooh. We need a seating chart! The singles table, the kids table, the weird relatives table...the smelly table, two more smelly tables.
Oh, you're gonna love it.
Who walks like that? "Oh! Look at me. I'm Julian. Forget the asteroid. Gimme a hug, Bro-Dad!" [clears throat] Look at that pretty bird there.
Yeah! That is a pretty bird. Good eye, Manny.
[laughs]
Yeah. The sky is literally falling, and she thinks we're just gonna let her stroll into the wilderness with Mr. No Plans Bouncy Walk.
Come on, El, you're not still mad at me, are you?
No. I'm not still mad. Because that's not how I want to spend what could be our final days together. But if we somehow survive that planet-killing hunk of space rock, you're in for it.
If we survive, we lose our daughter.
Well, I've been thinking about that, too. What if...
Ooh. I know! We destroy the relationship, right? That way we never have to let her go... and she'll just stay our little girl forever! [Laughs crazily]
No, you psychopath! What if we convince them to stay near us?
Oh! That's better. I like it. But how?
The way we always get her to do what we want. We make her think it's her idea.
You sneaky, sneaky minx! [giggles]
Let's just hope we haven't lost our touch.
Found it! Behold, mammals! A sneak preview of the asteroid to come. A space rock. Fresh from the cosmos. [licks it] Mmm, mmm, mmm. I taste iron, carbon. [gargles] Oh! And a hint of nickel. [sighs] Space tastes lonely.
Hey, look! I found another one.
Hey! Yours is attracted to me.
No. Yours is attracted to me. We're just too attractive!
Stupendous! Now we have something to play with during our final hours.
You're missing the point, Tiger. They're magnets. And if these space rocks are magnetic, so is that! This can only mean one thing.
CA Crash and Eddie
[screams]
Gentlemen, here's what we know. Space rocks? Magnetic. Asteroid? Also, magnetic.
[gasps]
Famed astrophysicist Neil deBuck Weasel! He knows the cosmos.
PB Pythagoras Buck
Ipso facto, thusly and ergo the crash site must have a heap of these things attracting the asteroid.
Ooh. Pythagoras Buck. He's got the right angle.
PB Pythagoras Buck
What if we use the magnets to attract the asteroids somewhere else? As in, not towards Earth.
RB Robo Buck
Theoretically speaking, if we can launch enough of these into space, they will pull the asteroid off course.
So, we just need to go to the crash site and launch a bunch of rocks into space. That's easy, right?
Oh, yeah. Sounds like a real piece of cake.
This is progress! Now we know exactly what we don't know how to do. Vamanos, mammals! This trail will take us directly to the crash site.
MA Manny and Ellie
Granny?
You do, and you don't get a tip.
Making this beautiful sloth happy is all the payment I need.
You see? Hunky bunny gets it.
There's a bunny living in the asteroid? Did not see that coming.
Oh! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Catching mad air on the half-pipe!
Do you think they know they are living in a magnetic bull's-eye?
Doesn't look like a lot of doomsday prepping going on in here.
I can't believe it! Visitors! We've never had visitors. Somebody pinch me. Or should I pinch you? Wait, I'll pinch both of us.
Did I hit my head? What's happening here?
I sure hope this isn't a... Oh! ...dream! [whistles]
M Misty
This guy? For real?
Bubbles Whatever.
Hello, handsome. I'm Brooke.
Ooh. Such exquisite bone structure. Such a strong jaw. I'm getting butterflies!
Sorry to interrupt this weirdo love connection, but we're kind of in a hurry.
If we don't do something fast, that asteroid is gonna blow us all to smithereens.
Oh. That sounds urgent. I better take you to him.
Who's "him"? Your leader?
MA Misty and Bubbles
He sees all.
Okay, okay. He sounds great. Let's go!
Brilliant. Right this way.
[laughing]
Whoo-hoo! Yes!
Please keep your arms and legs inside the tram at all times. But allow your spirit to roam free... in Geotopia.
I have a good feeling about this. Maybe he'll be able to help us.
She did say he knows all. And all's a lot!
Here he is. The Master of Meditation, the Supreme Serene...the four-time Heavy Thoughts champion of the world!
Is that a llama? I hate llamas. They spit and smell.
CA Crash and Eddie
So do we!
Greetings, mammals! The Shangri Llama will see you...now.
Ooh. Wonderful. [then] So where is he?
He is here. Talking to you.
Oh, I get it. He's a ventriloquist, and you're the dummy.
This is the guy that's going to save us.
Look within. You're the dummy.
Disgusting! Loved that! New topic. We're all about to die.
Well, that's no good. Stress is a killer. Let us loosen our limbs and open our minds. Downward Dog!
I'll wait. I have all the time in the world.
Actually, you don't have all the time in the world. None of us do. You see, there's this thing in the sky.
Oh. That blinding light that seems to get larger by the minute? [Laughs] What about it? Seems fine to me.
With all due respect, Your Twistiness, that's an asteroid. It's magnetically attracted to this place, and it's heading straight for us.
Aha! It must desire our magnetic crystals. Well, who can blame it? They're really quite something. Did you know their power grants eternal youth? I am over 400 years old. Mmm-hmm.
Sure it is. I'm 326! Whoo!
Huh? You don't look a day over 275.
We are young, happy and safe. And we always will be. Thanks to Geotopia!
Kudos. It is lovely. Now, let's figure out a way to launch it into space!
I'm sorry. You want to destroy our home?
It'll be destroyed either way. But if we propel this magnetic material into the atmosphere... we can change the asteroid's path and save everyone. What do you say?
Oh. You are storing a lot of hostility in your lower spine.
Shangri Llama, how are we gonna...?
Funky Chicken. Jiggy Jelly. Mashed Potato.
Your flexibility is a sight to behold. Now how the devil are we going to launch these crystals?
You can't. It's impossible. Whoo! I am bushed. Awesome meeting you guys. Feel free to hang or, you know, whatever. [spits]
That's it. He was our last hope. We're doomed.
Yeah. All we got was a free yoga class.
On that subject... could you help me, please? My nose is dangerously close to my butt.
Uh, Sid, why do you have two tails?
Hey, don't cry. Look on the bright side. We get to see our lives flash before our eyes. That means I get to fall in love with you... All over again.
Only you can make the end of the world sound like a good thing.
We did a good job raising her. She's stronger than we know.
Two days ago, I'd have given anything to keep her with us. Now I'd give anything just to see her get married and leave home.
Play with her kids, dance with her husband.
Yell at him when he forgets their anniversary.
It was a good one, wasn't it? Our life? You, me, and Peaches.
Hey, Buck. You have a suggestion for getting around the river?
Let's see if the tablet's ancient wisdom will guide us. Let my mammals pass!
[?]
The ancients grant us safe passage.
[?]
Wow, the air feels strange.
Finally! We have superpowers!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have wandered into an electrical storm. [Thunder rumble] I suggest we all stay away from the trees.
Diego: Sure, no problem. It's not like we're in a forest.
Boy, Mother Nature sure is in a bad mood lately.
Good thing we're all here to help each other.
Oh, like I always say, stay close, stay alive.
There they are! Right out in the open. [laughs] How stupid can you be?
Everyone, try not to create any sort of friction.
Yup. Cool beans. Friction is what now? [Crash and Eddie then reaches to touch each other's fingertips akin to "The Creation of Adam'.]
[The possums' fingers connect and the static electrity causes a massive thunderstrike.]
Come on! Let's get out of here.
Don't you hurry me. I've been struck by lightning more times- [gets struck by lightning and dies]
G Graany
[gets struck by lightning again and is revived]
-than you've had hot breakfasts.
Julian, don't move! [panting] I have an idea.
I'm coming, sweetheart! Julian, why aren't you helping her?
Wait! No, Manny, she... [screams]
[groans]
Uh, what are you guys doing?
What would "not helping" look like? Hey, zapheads!
Shira, Manny, Crash, Eddie, Ellie, Granny. Aw, shoot! I'm out of fingers.
Do you hear that? A baby! There's a baby in there!
Buck, wait! It's too dangerous.
CA Crash and Eddie
[gasping]
Don't know how we'll go on without you, Buck. All right, let's go.
Look at that! I got an egg. How many eggs did you poach, little brother?
Do we have to steal other creatures' eggs? I mean, couldn't we just go vegan?
Sure, we could eat vegans.
Whoops! Oh-oh-oh! Son, sometimes I wonder how you snuck into this family.
'[singibg] ♪Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro♪ [spoken] With you in a minute. I'll have to rinse and repeat.
That weasel is such a buzzkill. Let's go, kids.
Don't worry, ma'am. I'll catch the crew that poached your egg. It's a pun! I'm winking under the eye patch. [singing] ♪A mother is crying.♪ ♪A damsel in distress.♪ ♪Foreboding intruders have made such a mess.♪ ♪What I detect is a lack of respect?♪ ♪For all that is precious and dear.♪ ♪I am the pint-sized protector of this lost world.♪ [spoken] But my friends call me Buck. Well played, guys. [singing] ♪I have a message, bullies not welcome.♪ ♪Return what you've stolen.♪ ♪Go back where you came from.♪ ♪You know I'm greater, so don't be a hater.♪ ♪You may be Jurassic, but I am fantastic.♪ [singing] ♪Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro Figaro♪ [spoken] Oh, love that bit. [singing] ♪Running and climbing, and spinning and grinning.♪ ♪And dashing and diving and dodging.♪ ♪And sliding and gliding, and staying alive.♪ ♪And these are a few of the things.♪ ♪That I do before lunch.♪ ♪Death-defying.♪ ♪Danger denying.♪ ♪Look, I'm flying.♪ ♪You might think I'm mad.♪ ♪But, hey, you only live once.♪ ♪No need to thank me.♪ ♪But if you insist, I won't resist.♪ ♪Who smells like fish?♪ Hold on to your butts! [singing] ♪Class Dis...♪ ♪...missed!!!♪ Good egg. Here you are, my lady. Go! I'll lead them away. Oh, that was fun! Same time, same place, next week? Toodles!
Congratulations, weasel. You just signed your death warrant.
Weaseled my way out of that one. Hmm. What's all that flash and dazzle about? Who puts a rock in the middle of the jungle? Ha! Blimey! What is this place? Whoops!
Oh! So close! These pucks go fast.
Just watch the puck all the way into the stick.
Too bad you and Peaches are moving away. If you stayed, we could do this all the time.
Okay. Show me the heat! I'm like a hockey ninja! Hey, Peaches! Looks like you got a new hockey partner to replace your dad.
Such a mystery why he wants to move far away.
I didn't mean to do it. It's not my fault the kid has no reflexes.
How could you do that to him? I thought you liked Julian.
Well, you don't act like it. When you look at him, all you see is an obstacle. Or worse, a target. But I see a sweet guy who's trying his hardest to impress you.
No! Both of you, just stop! If we survive, I'm still getting married, and I'm still leaving home. Whether you're happy for me or not.
Don't give me that look. She said both. That means you, too.
And this widdle astewoid went wee, wee, wee, all the way home.
Eh... Because Daddy and his fwiends saved the world.
Yeah, women. What about them?
I don't get 'em. [whistle] Like, Ellie. Life's great with her. There's no surprises. Nothing ever changes. But then today, she giggled. Does Shira ever just giggle?
ME Male Elk
Please don't eat me!
Uh... Shira's not a big giggler.
Well, Ellie giggled. And then she wiggled. "Tee hee hee hee." Boom!
Don't ever do that again.
I have no idea why she's acting so weird.
Hyrax Women.
Anybody there? Oh! Marco? Polo? Oh, hi, Manny. Ew! Your breath is awful.
Oh, nothing. Everything's great. Fabulous. Zippity-dippity.
Okay, let me guess. She dumped you.
What is wrong with me? Everybody has somebody. And all I've got is my boyish good looks and this mariachi band. Oh! So itchy!
Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.
