Burt Reynolds movie quotes

View Quote Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything...A couple more months, she'll all be gone...from Aintry on up. One big dead lake.

View Quote I sleep at night. I have no worries. I am becoming myself, as inconsequential as that may be. I am not something that somebody shoved off on me. I am what I chose to be, and I am it.

View Quote Bobby: Hey, what happens if we flip this thing over?
Lewis: Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don't hit 'em with your head.

View Quote [about to deliver food to his hungry puppy friends] These are some of the poorest people I know. They're broker than... the Ten Commandments. [laughs] Little joke. Very little.

View Quote What a selfish, callous cad of a heel I've been. Blind to the needs of our society's lowly unloved.

View Quote [while drunk] Hee-hee-hee-hee! You're the doggonest pals... a swell could ever have. [laughs] I love you, guys. You wanna sing with me? You wanna sing with me?

View Quote [to Dirk] I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.

View Quote We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.

View Quote Amber Waves: What are you looking at?
Jack Horner: I'm looking at you.
Amber Waves: You're staring.
Jack Horner: You know what I'm staring at? I'm staring at the foxiest bitch in the whole world.

View Quote They want me to close her down, run her out of town. How can I ask her to leave when all I want her to do is stay?

View Quote [On wearing a Speedo] Be like putting two bowling balls in a marble bag!

View Quote Boys, I got myself a pretty good bullshit detector, and I can tell when somebody's peeing on my boots and telling me it's a rainstorm.

View Quote [after giving the nearly naked guys clothes] I'd get dressed faster if I were you 'cause I've been alone in this cabin for 30 years.

View Quote [after scaring off Dennis and Elwood] When you peckawoods get your diapers cleaned come back! I'll be waiting!

View Quote [After finding Dan, Jerry and Tom in their boxers] Freeze you perverts!

View Quote [Acting on a tip from longtime inmate Skitchy, Caretaker, Paul Crewe and Nate Scarborough infiltrate the prison record room]
Nate Scarborough: [accessing main computer] Hazen has a rating system for every con.
Paul Crewe: [sees the three-star rating on Big Tony Cobianco's file] What's three stars?
Nate: The more prone to violence that the inmate is, the more stars he gets.
Skitchy: Five stars is the max.
Caretaker: I didn't know that.
Skitchy: Yeah.
Caretaker: Let's see how many stars my maniacal ass got. [Nate accesses file and sees Caretaker only had a 0.5 star rating]
Paul: Wow.
Caretaker: Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it again. Check it again.
Paul: You're about as maniacal as a boxful of kittens.
Caretaker: Come on, that's not funny, man. I'm gonna have to stab somebody or something. Get my rep up.
Paul: Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonight. That could get it up some.
Skitchy: [overhears] Yeah. We can sell it to pay-per-view. Superstar Versus Half-a-Star.

View Quote [Crewe, Caretaker, and Scarborough meet with Battle in the showers]
Battle: Wow, no bullshit? Real football, against the guards?
Nate Scarborough: Full contact.
Battle: Captain Knauer is their quarterback?
Caretaker: Yup.
Battle: So I get to...tackle him?
Paul Crewe: Yeah, you can either tackle him or hit him over the head with that hammer. [Pointing to Battle's crotch.]
Battle: [Grins] I want to hurt him, not kill him.
Caretaker: [To Crewe] Let's get out of here before that thing bites someone.
Paul: Okay, we'll see you and your pet iguana at practice.

View Quote [The team prepares to practice, but see their field is flooded.]
Nate Scarborough: Did it rain last night?
Skitchy: Not a drop.
Paul Crewe: [Under his breath] Son of a bitch. [Faces team] Okay, guys, the warden is trying to break our spirit. He thinks we're just going to call it day, wait for the field to dry, make up for it tomorrow. You know what, who gives a shit? Three days until game-time, we can handle it. But I'll tell you something else, that old man flooding this field tells me something: the guy is scared. Scared of you; sick, degenerate convicts. And you know what? He should be. Because I got news for you. We're going to win this game.
Nate Scarborough: Did he say "win"?
Paul: So, what's it going to be? We can either cancel practice today, go back to our cells, wait for tomorrow, or we can prepare for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta in the history of football. I'll leave it to you guys.

View Quote Thank you. Thank you. You're too kind. You're too kind. What a privilege for me to be here with you good people tonight, and to talk about an issue that is critical to this campaign and to all of the American people. I'm talking about the issue of family values.

View Quote Thank you. Thank you. There comes a time in every public figure's career when he has to think about his future.

View Quote Malcolm Moldowsky: This is a major disaster! Major! Unbelievable! Without doubt, the most asinine piece of human behavior...
Congressman David Dilbeck: It's never gonna happen again, Malcolm! I've got it under control. See, I just love naked women. It's a character flaw. And God's testing me now...
Moldowsky: Oh, will you shut up, you idiot!
Dilbeck: You can't talk to me like that. I'm a United States Congressman!
Moldowsky: I can't? When you go psycho in a titty bar six weeks before the election, what should I call you? Winston **** Churchill? It was all I could do to keep Willie Rojo from coming in here and strangling you with his bare **** hands!

View Quote I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.