Charlie B. Barkin [about to deliver food to his hungry puppy friends]
These are some of the poorest people I know. They're broker than... the Ten Commandments. [laughs] Little joke. Very little.
Most-quoted character in All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989): in 12 of its 27 quotes
Most scenes with: Itchy Itchiford (6), Carface Carruthers (2), Annabelle (2)
Hee-hee-hee-hee! You're the doggonest pals... a swell could ever have. [laughs] I love you, guys. You wanna sing with me? You wanna sing with me?
More lines from Charlie B. Barkin
2 quotes Charlie B. Barkin Charlie B. Barkin What a selfish, callous cad of a heel I've been. Blind to the needs of our society's lowly unloved.
Scenes with Charlie B. Barkin
9 scenes Charlie Careful, Itchy.
Yeah?
Charlie Yeah. I think that might be a water main.
Nah, Charlie. Water mains are green. This is red.
Charlie You're colorblind. You always been colorblind!
That's true, but this is green.
Charlie It's red!
Red?
Man
[He drills into the water main; outside, water bursts out of the ground]
BUSTED WATER MAIN!!!
Man 2
Hit the lights!
Man 3
Call command central!
Smiley
[Charlie has escaped the pound]
Charlie? Ain't you s'pposed to be on death row?
Charlie No! I ain't supposed to be on death row.
Hey! I got him out.
Vera
[sings]
Things have changed, Charlie, since you've been gone.
Life hasn't been no piece of cake.
Chihuahua Gambler
Carface ain't been treatin' us too good!
Vera
Things are tough, but we carry on.
Smiley
[sings while Charlie wins a game of craps]
Could you spare a couple of bones, for old time's sake?
Charlie Why settle for a couple of bones when you can have the whole BAKE?!
[he laughs, puts the bones in a slot machine, gives it a kick, and hits the jackpot]
Charlie! Charlie, look! You hit the jackpot! Attaboy, Charlie, I'm proud of ya! Charlie, tell 'em!
You're in love with the girl. You've gone soft. You care about her.
Charlie Look, I don't care about the girl! I tell her things now and then. I pretend to be her best friend, but it's bologna!
I thought I was your best friend.
Charlie You are my best friend! With her, it's just business. It's always been business. I'm usin' the girl! And when we're done with her, we'll dump her in an orphanage. Is that okay with you?!
Sure, boss. Anything you say.
Touch that clock, and you can never come back.
Shut up!
I said, touch that clock, and you can never come back!
Charlie [to the home audience]
He'll be back. [winks]
Charlie Carface! [laughs] Hey, Carface! Ya decent?
Charlie Is it really me? Haha! Is it really you? Hey, you put on a little weight. I told ya to stay off those sweets. [lies down on a chair and turns on some jazz music] This place is... This place is lookin' okay. A little ghost, but okay. Y'know, partner, I'm proud of you. But the customers, they ain't laughin'.
Charlie Yeah, but I've been thinkin'. [turns up the volume] You know what this place needs? I mean, besides new curtains and chandeliers. It needs some class, a little culture, choreography, and some influence of the theater. Dancing girls. Whattaya say? Y'know what else...?
[turns down the volume]
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Times has changed. I've changed, you've changed.
Charlie [turns up the volume]
Ha, what are ya talkin' about? I haven't changed.
[turns down the volume]
Charlie... Charlie, you've done time, and that's not good for business.
Charlie [turns up the volume]
What are you sayin'?
You are a dog with a record. [turns down the volume]
Charlie [turns up the volume]
I was framed!
I know that. [feigning tears] You're like a brother to me. That's why... Why...
Charlie Why what?
Charlie [turns up the volume]
What?! Are you outta your mind?!
They're gonna be lookin' for ya, Charlie. And what's the first place they're gonna look, huh?! Here! HERE!!! [removes the volume dial on the radio] I don't like it, Charlie, but it's for our own good.
Charlie [Charlie follows Annabelle through Heaven] [sarcastically]
The clouds, the grass, the air!
[Charlie, after returning to life, goes to see Itchy]
Oh, Charlie! Charlie! It's you! I saw Carface, and he was chokin' me! He was grabbin' my neck and I said... Oh, hi, Charlie.
Charlie [chuckles]
Hi.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [Charlie grabs Itchy, trying to keep him quiet] OH, CHARLIE! YOU'RE A GHOST!!
Charlie Shh!
[escapes Charlie's grip and tries to run away]
Get back! Get back! Don't hurt me! [starts throws his tools at Charlie] Here, take my nine-piece ratchet set! My oil can! Don't go away without my Rolls Royce hood ornament! [hits Charlie with the hood ornament]
Charlie I'm not a ghost and I'm not dead!
Please! I got a bad back! Don't touch--
Charlie [clamps Itchy's mouth shut]
Quiet! Itchy, I'm not a ghost. I'm not dead. Now, be quiet. I'm gonna take my hand away from your mouth, and you're gonna be quiet, aren't you? [Itchy nods; Charlie lets go] That's my pal.
Itchy': WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Charlie Will you shut up?! Itchy, I'm alive! Look, look! [picks a flea from his fur and shows it to Itchy] Do ghosts have fleas!
No, ghosts don't have fleas!
Charlie [places the flea on Itchy's nose]
Right.
Charlie... Charlie, it's really you. Oh, Charlie! But I saw the car and...
Charlie I know.
In the river and your lifeless body... flying through the air!
Charlie Itchy, what can I say? [chuckles] It wasn't my time.
[throws himself into Charlie's arms]
I'm so happy to see you, Charlie! You don't know how much I missed you!
Charlie Shut up! [clamps Itchy's mouth shut] You want the whole world to know I'm back?! You thought I was dead, so will Carface. The little rat killed me... Uh, tried to kill me. [lets go of Itchy's mouth] But I'm gonna make him pay.
No, Charlie. We don't wanna do that.
Charlie Yeah, we do. Listen, Itchy. I was always the brains of the operation, wasn't I?
Yeah.
Charlie Well, when I left, he should've gone under.
That's it, boss. We'll go under. Deep, deep under. They'll never find us again.
Charlie No, I don't wanna go under. The operation grew. It got bigger and bigger, and now he doesn't wanna share.
That's it, boss. We can share a nice little place in the Himalayas.
Charlie I hate the Himalayas.
Wait a minute. They got gambling, they got races.
Charlie So what?
Well, they even got a town called Tibet. Get it? "To-bet." [chuckles] Listen, boss. We can nab us a few llamas, a couple of mountain goats, open a track of our own...
Charlie Y'know, he's got something up his sleeve.
Yeah, a gun.
Charlie And when I find out what it is, I'm gonna ruin him. I'm gonna make him suffer. Slow. He'll be begging for mercy!
Well, I'm beggin', but I'm beggin' that we get outta here. Listen, boss. Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, knives, and he's got a monster in his basement.
Charlie What?
Boss, they feed it!
Charlie Monster?
Yeah! Monster! I said monster!
Charlie Monster?! Hmm...
Charlie [at the horse corral]
Anne-Marie, cupcake, sweetheart, please. Just talk to the horsey, huh? Talk to Mr. Horsey.
Hey, boss, maybe she only talks to rats. [chuckles]
Charlie Don't be stupid. She talked to me, didn't she?
Yeah. She talked to you. That makes you a rat! [breaks into laughter]
Other characters in All Dogs Go to Heaven
More Burt Reynolds characters
Lewis Medlock
Jack Horner
Del Knox
Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd
Nate Scarborough
Det. Nick McKenna
David Dilbeck
General Newton