Carface! [laughs] Hey, Carface! Ya decent?
[opens the door]
Charlie! Oh, is it really you?!
Is it really me? Haha! Is it really you? Hey, you put on a little weight. I told ya to stay off those sweets. [lies down on a chair and turns on some jazz music] This place is... This place is lookin' okay. A little ghost, but okay. Y'know, partner, I'm proud of you. But the customers, they ain't laughin'.
[chuckles as he turns down the volume]
Gamblers are never happy, Charlie. You know that.
Yeah, but I've been thinkin'. [turns up the volume] You know what this place needs? I mean, besides new curtains and chandeliers. It needs some class, a little culture, choreography, and some influence of the theater. Dancing girls. Whattaya say? Y'know what else...?
[turns down the volume]
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Times has changed. I've changed, you've changed.
[turns up the volume]
Ha, what are ya talkin' about? I haven't changed.
[turns down the volume]
Charlie... Charlie, you've done time, and that's not good for business.
[turns up the volume]
What are you sayin'?
You are a dog with a record. [turns down the volume]
[turns up the volume]
I was framed!
I know that. [feigning tears] You're like a brother to me. That's why... Why...
[turns down the volume]
We need to split up the partnership!
[turns up the volume]
What?! Are you outta your mind?!
They're gonna be lookin' for ya, Charlie. And what's the first place they're gonna look, huh?! Here! HERE!!! [removes the volume dial on the radio] I don't like it, Charlie, but it's for our own good.
[Charlie, after returning to life, goes to see Itchy]
Oh, Charlie! Charlie! It's you! I saw Carface, and he was chokin' me! He was grabbin' my neck and I said... Oh, hi, Charlie.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [Charlie grabs Itchy, trying to keep him quiet] OH, CHARLIE! YOU'RE A GHOST!!
[escapes Charlie's grip and tries to run away]
Get back! Get back! Don't hurt me! [starts throws his tools at Charlie] Here, take my nine-piece ratchet set! My oil can! Don't go away without my Rolls Royce hood ornament! [hits Charlie with the hood ornament]
I'm not a ghost and I'm not dead!
Please! I got a bad back! Don't touch--
[clamps Itchy's mouth shut]
Quiet! Itchy, I'm not a ghost. I'm not dead. Now, be quiet. I'm gonna take my hand away from your mouth, and you're gonna be quiet, aren't you? [Itchy nods; Charlie lets go] That's my pal.
Itchy': WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Will you shut up?! Itchy, I'm alive! Look, look! [picks a flea from his fur and shows it to Itchy] Do ghosts have fleas!
No, ghosts don't have fleas!
[places the flea on Itchy's nose]
Right.
Charlie... Charlie, it's really you. Oh, Charlie! But I saw the car and...
In the river and your lifeless body... flying through the air!
Itchy, what can I say? [chuckles] It wasn't my time.
[throws himself into Charlie's arms]
I'm so happy to see you, Charlie! You don't know how much I missed you!
Shut up! [clamps Itchy's mouth shut] You want the whole world to know I'm back?! You thought I was dead, so will Carface. The little rat killed me... Uh, tried to kill me. [lets go of Itchy's mouth] But I'm gonna make him pay.
No, Charlie. We don't wanna do that.
Yeah, we do. Listen, Itchy. I was always the brains of the operation, wasn't I?
Well, when I left, he should've gone under.
That's it, boss. We'll go under. Deep, deep under. They'll never find us again.
No, I don't wanna go under. The operation grew. It got bigger and bigger, and now he doesn't wanna share.
That's it, boss. We can share a nice little place in the Himalayas.
Wait a minute. They got gambling, they got races.
Well, they even got a town called Tibet. Get it? "To-bet." [chuckles] Listen, boss. We can nab us a few llamas, a couple of mountain goats, open a track of our own...
Y'know, he's got something up his sleeve.
And when I find out what it is, I'm gonna ruin him. I'm gonna make him suffer. Slow. He'll be begging for mercy!
Well, I'm beggin', but I'm beggin' that we get outta here. Listen, boss. Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, knives, and he's got a monster in his basement.
Yeah! Monster! I said monster!
[Killer hangs above a piranha-infested pool after Carface learns of Charlie's survival]
Charlie's alive, and I know he's got the girl. Killer, this is strike two. You're out.
No, wait boss! Boss! I get one more strike boss, honest!
[to his other thugs]
Lower him. [Killer is lowered into the pool] Nothing personal, Killer. Business. You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. How do I handle Charlie? Knives? Poison? Car didn't work. Something... something very special.
Boss, Boss! Pull me up, please! I got a... I got a gun!
A gun? Whattaya mean a gun? What kind of gun?
[the piranhas start nibbling at his ears]
Ya hear me, Boss?! I got a gun! Stop, fishies! Stop it! Ooh, you won't like what you taste! [is raised up] I don't taste that good! You've been eating too much! Boss! Pull me up! I got a... I got a... I got a... A Flash Gordon Thermo-Atomic ray gun, Boss.
A ray gun. [chuckles evilly]
You're in love with the girl. You've gone soft. You care about her.
Look, I don't care about the girl! I tell her things now and then. I pretend to be her best friend, but it's bologna!
I thought I was your best friend.
You are my best friend! With her, it's just business. It's always been business. I'm usin' the girl! And when we're done with her, we'll dump her in an orphanage. Is that okay with you?!
Sure, boss. Anything you say.
V Vera
[sings]
Things have changed, Charlie, since you've been gone.
Life hasn't been no piece of cake.
CG Chihuahua Gambler
Carface ain't been treatin' us too good!
V Vera
Things are tough, but we carry on.
S Smiley
[sings while Charlie wins a game of craps]
Could you spare a couple of bones, for old time's sake?
Why settle for a couple of bones when you can have the whole BAKE?!
[he laughs, puts the bones in a slot machine, gives it a kick, and hits the jackpot]
Charlie! Charlie, look! You hit the jackpot! Attaboy, Charlie, I'm proud of ya! Charlie, tell 'em!
S Stella
[in the middle of the horse race, Stella Dallas gallops up to Sir Reginald]
Yoo-hoo! Reginald! Excuse me.
Reginald Oh! [chuckles] Splendid! Hello, Stella! Jolly good day for a race, what?
S Stella
[laughs]
Oh, yes. But, Reginald, honey, I do hate to rain on your parade, but did you know, [furiously] It's the Grand Chawhee's birthday?!
Reginald Oh, really? You don't... [monocle flies off; he goes awestruck] Oh! Terribly sorry.
