Bernie Mac movie quotes

View Quote But a king does not get beat.

View Quote Before I kick your butt, let me ask you - why do you want to become the alpha lion?

View Quote No, no, son. Over here. See the lion? Look at the lion and get the lion!

View Quote Drivers don't pick their cars. Mmm-mm. The cars pick their drivers. It's a mystical bond between man and machine.

View Quote Bobby Bolivia, just like the country, except without the runs.

View Quote Hey, Mammy! [his mother flips him off] Oh, don't be like that! If I had a rock, I'd bust your head, bitch. See, she deaf. [laughs obnoxiously]

View Quote I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter. You're sleeping with me now.

View Quote Howard: You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass!
Percy: Casper.
Howard: Cracker.
Percy: Ofay.
Howard: Peckerwood.
Percy: Wonder bread.
Howard: Bird shit.
Percy: Bird shit?
Howard: Well, it's almost white.

View Quote Howard: You didn't tell me he was white!
Percy: Yes, I did. Back at the retirement home.
Howard: I thought you was kidding.

View Quote When I look at you, you know what I think? I think America has a sad future ahead of it.

View Quote Gin: [smoking a cigarette in his office] "**** stick"?
Bob Chipeska: Yeah, I know it's odd, but as our security manager, I want you to be well aware of this. His little friend promised he won't say it in front of the children, which is fine. There is an adult's world and a child's world, and that's OK. I'm no censor.

View Quote Gin: We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.
Marcus: No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...
Gin: This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!
[Exits]
Willie: Pricks fix?
Marcus: Ah, he's a **** moron.
Willie: Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
Marcus: **** you.
Willie: Negotiating?
Marcus: You don't like it? Next year, **** off. I can always get another box jockey.
Willie: Yeah and I can get another midget too.
Marcus: Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of **** trees like **** crab apples?

View Quote [pretending the Nevada Gaming Commission is racist] They might as well call it whitejack!

View Quote [Yen does the real somersault]
Frank: Ten says he shorts it.
Livingston: No, no bet.

View Quote [Shaking Billy Tim Denham's hand]
Frank: You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
Billy Tim Denham: I'm sorry?
Frank: You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh... uh... uh... uh... aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.

View Quote Saul: Reuben...he always was too trusting.
Danny: Is, Saul. Is.
Saul: Right, is.
Rusty: [Yen says something in Mandarin] Well, you try talking him out of it next time.
Danny: Look, Bank hurt Reuben. I know how that makes me feel. I know what that makes me want to do.
Turk: Well, I'll you what I'd do, and I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston: And I'll inject him.
Basher: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny: But...Even though Bank stepped over the line, we need to do what is best for Reuben.
Rusty: Which means we offer Bank a "Billy Martin."
Turk: And, what? He takes it and gets away with it?
Linus: Those are the rules.
Basher: No, those are the rules for someone who understands the rules, which Bank don't. He already broke them. So he don't get the chance.
Frank: For Reuben...I think we give him a chance.

View Quote Abigail Sponder: [Feeling a waitress' arm] I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.
Waitress: I only gained four pounds, you can't!
Sponder: Sorry, sweetie, but your Body Mass Index is nowhere near where it's supposed to be.
Waitress: But Ms. Sponder-
Sponder: Oh no, honey. It's your butt that's the problem. [Smugly walks off, Linus having observed the whole thing]
[cuts to Linus, Frank, Rusty, and Danny talking]
Frank: Man, you can't fire no waitresses based on appearance, that's just unconstitutional.
Danny: IF they were waitresses.
Linus: Yeah, they're actually hired as "models who serve", so that Bank can monitor their personal appearance.
Rusty: It's a cruel, cruel practice.

View Quote Rusty: News from Mexico, from a journalista I used to...uh, anyway, she's an ally of the workers. Now, what she tells me is that the strike hinges on working conditions and the fact that labor feels they're underpaid by 50%. I guess you can agree, Terry, it's always about the money.
Danny: How much are they asking for?
Rusty: $36,000.
Danny: And how many workers?
Rusty: 200, give or take.
Danny: Right, so that adds up to...
Livingston: Just over $7 million.
Rusty: No, not $36,000 each; $36,000 total.
[everyone stares at Rusty]
Frank: Virgil and Turk got 'em holding out for $3.50 a week??
Rusty: It is a 5% increase.
Danny: Well, write them a check. [looks at Terry and shrugs] We'll post-date it.