You put munitions chips into toys?
Major Chip Hazard
Tommy Lee Jones · 21 quotes
Alan Abernathy
Gregory Smith · 19 quotes
Archer
Frank Langella · 14 quotes
Stuart Abernathy
Kevin Dunn · 10 quotes
Slamfist
Christopher Guest · 9 quotes
Christy
Kirsten Dunst · 8 quotes
Irwin Wayfair
David Cross · 7 quotes
Butch Meathook
Jim Brown · 6 quotes
Gwendy Doll
6 quotes
Larry Benson
Jay Mohr · 6 quotes
Nick Nitro
Clint Walker · 6 quotes
Phil Fimple
Phil Hartman · 6 quotes
Brick Bazooka
George Kennedy · 5 quotes
Insaniac
Michael McKean · 5 quotes
Kip Killigan
5 quotes
Joe
Dick Miller · 4 quotes
Link Static
Bruce Dern · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Larry Benson & Irwin Wayfair (5), Alan Abernathy & Archer (4), Alan Abernathy & Christy (4)
Small Soldiers quotes
Page 1 of 8Hello, Mr. Chips.
Mr. Mars Exactly, don't call it violent; call it action. Kids love action. It sells.
Timmy Fimple
Dad, you know my birthday? I just want clothes.
[on the phone to Globotech]
The Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store and destroyed the Gorgonites!
GloboTech Telephone Operator The Commando Elite are designed to fight the Gorgonites.
They didn't fight them, they destroyed them, and now they're gone!
GloboTech Telephone Operator I'm sorry, but Heartland Play Systems does not replace lost toys.
I didn't lose them! Look, is there a machine I can talk to? Just transfer me to a machine!
GloboTech Telephone Operator Bye. Have a nice day, ma'am.
Thanks, Joe. I owe you one.
You owe me twelve!
There's a problem with the Commandos.
Really? What kind of problem?
Alan, friend of Archer, defender of all Gorgonites, Keeper of Encarta...
"Keeper of Encarta"? You were using my computer? If I find a virus in there you're headed for the microwave.
Alan. If Gorgon's not in that window, is it in this one?
There's nothing outside the window. There's just stuff outside them.
What stuff?
You know. Houses. Electric poles. Christy's house.
And beyond that?
The mall.
And what's beyond that?
That's the highway.
Punch-It And beyond that?
A million acres of farm.
And what's beyond that?
I don't know.
Hmmm. Gorgon.
Gorgonites. We must help Alan.
But if we fight, we will lose.
Troglokhan
Last time we fought, I woke up at am/fm.
Punch-It We shouldn't fight, we should hide.
If we hide, we would still lose. No more hiding.
Greetings. I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
Awfully polite for a monster.
What is your name?
I'm Alan. Now shut up. I gotta do my homework.
Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.
Any sigh of the Gorgonites?
No, not a thing.
Come on Christy!
Gil Mars [Alan grabs her dramatically and kisses her] [getting into helicopter, looking at wreckage]
Too bad. This would have been a hell of a commercial.
I heard your parents had to move here because you got kicked out of ten different schools?
I did not! [paused for a while] It was only two.
You rescued me! [kissing Alan]