George Kennedy movie quotes

View Quote When it comes to the law, nothin' is understood...I'm his official egg-peeler. That's the law!

View Quote Just nine more between you and everlastin' glory...Just little ol' eggs. They pigeon eggs, that's all.

View Quote Boy, you're new meat. You're gonna have to shape up fast and hard for this gang. We got rules here. In order to learn 'em, you gotta do more work with your ears than with your mouth.

View Quote That's one nice thing about the 707. It can do everything but read.

View Quote I'll be back in time if I have to pull that plane out with my teeth!

View Quote Nice going sweetheart (as he taps the fuselage of the damaged plane)

View Quote Sir...I'm pretty messed up, sir.

View Quote [looking at the Gwendy dolls] Hello, dolly! [whistle]

View Quote Dibs on the chainsaw.

View Quote Flanigan: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I bring you the founder of Mammoth Pictures, Mr. L.B. Mammoth! Boom chachalaca boom chachalaca boom!
Reporter: Gee whiz, Mr. Mammoth, what's the secret of your success?
L.B. Mammoth: Simple! It's Dimple!
Flanigan: Dainty Delightful Darla Dimple!
L.B. Mammoth: Ah, the recipe for a Darla Dimple movie. Begin with one part adorable character in jeopardy.
[Inside the sound-stage, Darla has tied up Pudge]
Darla Dimple: Sorry, penguin, but in everyone's life, a little rain must fall. Max, man the valves!
Max: Yes, Miss Dimple.
[Max opens the water valve]
L.B. Mammoth: Add two parts perky determination...
Darla Dimple: More water, Max. More water!
[Max opens the water valve even more, causing the shower heads to burst open]
L.B. Mammoth: Sprinkle in an air of innocence...
Darla Dimple: Wind, Max! We must have WIND!
[Max rips off the fan guard, grips one of the blades, and pushes it down, creating wind]
L.B. Mammoth: Stir in...
Darla Dimple: More water!
[Max rips off the water valve, sending gallons of water gushing out into the flood]
L.B. Mammoth: Add a pinch of...
Darla Dimple: Thunder!
[Max grips a steam pipe, which starts bulging at the bottom. Two gauges and a bulb burn out, harming Pudge. The steam pipe eventually bursts, letting off steam]
L.B. Mammoth: And an itsy-bitsy dash of...
Darla Dimple: LIGHTNING!!!
[Darla cackling evilly, Max slams the two lightning generators to create lightning]
L.B. Mammoth: Mix them all together, and what do you get?
[He presses the open door button and the stage doors open, revealing a flooded stage which then spills out into the lot with they screaming in terror. Flanigan leaps into his boss' arms]
Flanigan: [panicking] Mommy!
[The two friends scream their heads off, followed by the reporters, who scream and run for their lives. Then, the massive flood spills into the open lot, engulfing L.B. Mammoth and Flanigan. Back on the ark, Danny is at the steering wheel as he tries to steer the ark, while Woolie clings onto the crow's nest for dear life. The animal actors scream in terror as the ark does a corkscrew]
Danny Cat: [panicking] Throw the anchor! Somebody, throw the anchor!
[Tillie tosses the anchor that catches Flanigan and L.B. Mammoth]
Tillie Hippo: It's L.B.! [singing] We're on! Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag / And smile, smile, smile [bashing T.W. and Frances together]
Sawyer Cat: [imitating Danny] "Your life isn't back there at the office". He says! "Dance with me". He says. [nags at him] You know what your problem is?! You're pushy, self centered, pig-headed... No offense, Herb.
Herb Pig: None taken.
[The flood approaches a Samson and Delilah movie set]
Crewman: Action. We're pushing, we're pushing... We're running, we're running!
[Danny and Sawyer are covered in their Egyptian garb]
Sawyer Cat: And, your driving stinks!
Danny Cat: Well, maybe you could do better. Go ahead, you take it.
Sawyer Cat: You take it.
Danny Cat: You take it.
Sawyer Cat: No, no, no.
Danny Cat: If you think you know so much... Sawyer!
Sawyer Cat: I don't want it.
Cranston Goat: Well it doesn't get any worse than this. I was wrong. It's worse.
Tillie Hippo: [gasps] Oh my. This is an awkward moment. I don't think we met. I'm Tillie. Mr. Mammoth, Cranston, Cranston, Mr. Mammoth, Flanigan, Cranston... AAAAAAH!!!
Announcer: What appears to be a tidal wave, folks, is actually just a special effect.
Sawyer Cat: This has gone far enough! Give me that!
Danny Cat: You didn't want it before! Give it!
Woolie Mammoth: Excuse me I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but we're about to...
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat: [in unison] Will you just stay out of this?!
Woolie Mammoth: Ooh, sorry.
Danny Cat: Let go. Let go.
Sawyer Cat: I'm telling you...
Receptionists: Good day, Mr. Mammoth.
L.B. Mammoth: You animals will never...
Flanigan: nibble kibble in this town again!
Tillie Hippo: I think they liked it.

View Quote [Musical montage, Danny typing in the office]
Cranston Goat: [to a mailman] Will you get off my property?!
[Montage to musical, workers building the destruction, Darla cleaning his face, Darla Dimple his balloon and stage for the decorations in a movie theater]
Announcer: All of Hollywood is represented here tonight for the premiere of Lil Ark Angel. How about a big hand for Joan Crawford, Cary Grant, W. C. Fields, Clark Gable, and L.B. Mammoth!
L.B. Mammoth: Carry on!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, how about a big hand for Darla Dimple! America's Sweetheart Lover of Children and Animals, and the star of tonight's gala Hollywood premiere, Lil Ark Angel. Darla Dimple's handprints are enshrined. In the forecourt of the Chinese Theater. Ladies and gentlemen, we're all gonna Gather inside the theater to see the world premiere of Lil Ark Angel starring Darla Dimple!

View Quote [Last lines]
Peabo Pudgemeyer: Put her there! [electrocutes T.W.]
Sawyer Cat: Well, now, let's see. [She takes Danny's list] Go to Premiere. Check. Land a big part, check. Get the girl? Check.
Danny Cat: I love you, Sawyer.
Sawyer Cat: I love you, Danny.
[The two hold hands and were about to kiss, as a delighted Flanigan cuts in between them, kissing his cheeks instead]
Flanigan: Sweethearts! Celebrities! Darlings!
[L.B. pushes Flanigan aside]
L.B. Mammoth: Get a picture, boys! These kids will be making history!
Chorus: [the movie posters are shown] Can you feel the power now? / The day is ours / For you and I, there comes a time / To hold our heads high / We make a little history / Each time we dare to dream / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Our time has come, we're gonna / Walk in the sun, oh / I packed my hopes, we're ready to roll / We're on our way / We make a little history / Each time we dare to dream / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Our time has come / Our time...| [song fades]
[Darla is seen working as a janitor putting up a "The End" poster on a wall. The poster falls down and wraps around her, and the end credits roll]

View Quote [after Ludwig has been hit with a tranquilizer dart, and falls off the building, Frank and Ed watch as he gets run over by a bus and steam roller, and trampled by a passing marching band]
Ed: [sobs] Oh, Frank! It's horrible. That's so horrible!
Frank: [comforts his boss] I know, Ed.
Ed: My father went the same way.

View Quote [after Frank is relieved of duty, Ed looks at the newspapers in dismay]
Ed: It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! What is journalism coming to? You're laying on top of the queen with her legs wrapped around you. And they call that news. They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair!
Frank: I know, Ed. Life isn't always fair. Just think. The next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
[he looks through his files and finds a piece of evidence]
Frank: Hey! Look at that. The missing evidence in the Kelner case. My God! He was innocent!
Ed: He went to the chair 2 years ago, Frank.
[Frank defeatedly discards the evidence and all his files into the file cabinet]
Frank: Well, what's the use?

View Quote Ed: We got a little surprise for ya. It's in honor of your 30 years on the force. Nordberg?
[Nordberg unveils a frame with Frank's name, uniform, and equipment mounted on it; all at Police Squad applaud Frank]
Frank: Oh, boy. This is really great. Thank you, guys!
Nordberg: We thought it might cheer you up. We heard about you and Jane.
Frank: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.
Ed: Frank, I feel really bad about all this. If there's anything that you need...
Nordberg: Like Dr. Kevorkian's home phone number?
Ed: [hands Nordberg a puzzle] Nordberg, put it together.

View Quote Go... ****... a duck.

View Quote Red: Does he know everything?
[at the same time]
Thunderbolt: No.
Lightfoot: Yes.

View Quote [Lightfoot shows up with the van, newly dented by the girl on the motorcycle]
Red Leary: Where'd you get the dents?
Lightfoot: Progress. I dreamt about you last night.
Red Leary: What about?
Lightfoot: I dreamt you said hello to me.
Red Leary: Don't you get smart with me. I'll break both your arms.
Lightfoot: I'll keep that in mind.
Red Leary: Remember what I said. John and me go back a long way. But you don't mean nothin' to me, understand? Nothin'!
Lightfoot: What'd you try and kill him for then?
Red Leary: Because we were friends.

View Quote Earthquakes bring out the worst in some people.

View Quote [last lines]
Dr. James Vance: This used to be a helluva town, officer.
Sgt. Lew Slade: Yeah...