Sawyer Cat
I'm a secretary; not an actress.
Voiced by Jasmine Guy 
Cats Don't Dance (1997) · 68 quotes
Cats Don't Dance (1997) · 68 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Cats Don't Dance (1997): in 24 of its 68 quotes
Most scenes with: Danny Cat (15), Tillie Hippo (8), Darla Dimple (7)
Hey Kong, how's it going?
More lines from Sawyer Cat
6 quotes
Sawyer Cat
No chow; no meow.
Sawyer Cat
[phone rings]
Farley Wink's Animal Actors Agency. How can I help you? [listens] You need a lamb for the Moses picture? [listens as a lamb gets excited] Oh. A sacrificial lamb? [listens as the same lamb cringes in fear] Sorry! Fresh out! [hangs up] Every day, I ask myself; why do I put up with this?
Sawyer Cat
What? This pigsty?!
Sawyer Cat
Unless you're talking about the glamour of filing, the romance of typing.
Sawyer Cat
Like I said, dancing is a waste of time.
Peabo Pudgemeyer (Pudge)
Scenes with Sawyer Cat
17 scenesMeow? [He can't believe that's his one line.] Is that it? Where's the rest?
Sawyer
You're looking at it!
But I thought this was a musical! We're supposed to sing and dance, aren't we?
Oh, for the love of Moby Dick!
Sawyer
Listen, tiger, this town has rules. Around here, cats say "meow."
But that's so old hat. I'm sure no one would mind if I jazz this up a bit.
Sawyer
All right, learn it the hard way.
[Danny purrs with a British accent, and then does a few impressions of various actors such as Edward G. Robinson.]
Looks like we'll be the only two cats on the ark, huh? Pretty great, huh?
Sawyer
So much for preserving the species! [to King Kong as he walks by] Hey, Kong, how's the picture coming?
King Kong
Oh! Don't get me started!
You know the King? Wow!
Sawyer
It's time somebody set that cat straight. Since he tap-danced into town, he's been nothing but trouble.
Well, I guess this is gonna set me back a whole day. Maybe only half a day.
Sawyer
Listen, I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but the fact is, since you–
I don't get it. What happened in there, anyway? Did I hit a sour note? Because if I did, I could go back in there. I could fix it.
Sawyer
You don't... Danny, they don't care.
But I...
Sawyer
Don't you get it? What is it with you? Why are you so determined to make a fool of yourself?
What do you mean? All I wanna do is the thing I love. Doesn't everyone?
Sawyer
It's not that simple.
It is in Kokomo.
Sawyer
Then maybe that's where you should have stayed.
Sawyer
Like I said, dancing is a waste of time.
What if I could get you an audition with L.B. Mammoth?
Sawyer
L.B. Mammoth? Head of Mammoth Studios?
WHAT?!
I know he'd appreciate real talent.
After nothing but Darla, he's gotta be STARVING for it!
Sawyer
[Darla growls and groans, which melts her mudpack facial off her face.]
You're dreaming, Danny!
Maybe I am. But so were you, just a few minutes ago.
Sawyer?
Sawyer
We're all behind you, Danny. 100%. Don't let them go, Tillie!
Let go! Have you lost your mind?
Release me you mad hippo!
Wait.
One big happy family!
Just a minute. Please.
Would you just listen to me?
I'll chew your ears off!
Cranston!
The end is near! The fat lady sung!
Look, if you're willing to accept what they can think of you, then you can go! [everyone gasps] I almost did.
Well, you should have! Life here for animals is the pits, always playing the scapegoat!
Quickly forgotten!
Working for scale! [...See what the movie did there?]
Then why are you still here?
Crantson
Why?! [everyone pauses]
Because you can't forget the feeling, can you? The feeling you have when... [Refers to Cranson and Frances] when you two dance together. [Camera switches to Woolie] When you play. [Danny motions to Sawyer] When you sing. They cursed you, humiliated you, and even slam the door in your face. But they still haven't made you forget. Have they?
[searches through his fortune cookie papers]
They can smash your cookie, but... but you'll always have your fortune. [everyone grins] Huh.
Come on. Let's go show 'em what we can do.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Sawyer
Let's see. [She takes Danny's list] Go to Premiere. Check. Land a big part, check. Get the girl? Check.
[the two hold hands and attempt to kiss, but Flanigan arrives, and gets in between them; both grimace]
Sweethearts! Celebrities! Darlings!
[first lines]
Once upon a time, there was a princess and a peasant. She lived a top of hill in a glittering castle. There, she had a servant who kept her castle in order, prepared her breakfast, and chose her daily robes for the day. She had fame. She had fortune.
Crowd
Bravo. Delightful.
She had product endorsements. But, she was not what she was seemed. [Darla Dimple giggles] On the other hand, in a humble village far away, the peasant had none of her luxuries, but he had a dream. So, with a fond farewell from his closest friends and gifts of good luck, best wishes... and useless junk, although it's the thought that counts, his world was about to clash with hers in a place called: Hollywood!
Crowd
Goodbye!
Chorus
Woo-hooo...| Our time has come, we're gonna / Walk in the sun, oh / I packed my hopes, we're ready to roll / We're on our way / With a little faith, we can / Step from the shadows and / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Our time has come, we're heading / Straight for the sun, oh / With heart and soul, well watch us go / We're on our way / With a little love, we know / Nothing can stop us, so / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Are you ready to wish upon a star? / Well, I'll be ready to follow my own heart / Are you ready to be set free? / Well, I'll be ready to reach out for that dream / Just over the horizon...| Our time has come, we're gonna / Walk in the sun, oh / I packed my hopes, we're ready to roll / We're on our way / With a little faith, we can / Step from the shadows and / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Are you ready to make your move? / Well, I'll be ready for a miracle to come true / Are you ready for the world to believe in you? / Well, I'll be ready to reach out for that dream / Just over the horizon...| Our time has come, we're gonna / Walk in the sun, oh / I packed my hopes, we're ready to roll / We're on our way / With a little love, we know / Nothing can stop us, so / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Ooooh...| [song fades]
[singing]
Since I was a little kitten, I had a dream / My name in lights: Danny, The Song-and-Dance Cat / I got on a bus and came to the town / Where dreams can come true / It's gonna happen for me / It could happen for you.
Who me?
[singing]
You can do anything if you try / The most impossible dream can come true / If you believe it / This is my kind of town, it's as clear as the nose on your face / This is the time, this is the place / This is the time.
So long!
Sawyer Cat
Taxi!
[singing]
This must be the place...| Hollywood, where the streets are paved with gold / Where the kitties never grow old, in Hollywood / Hollywood, where the stars don't shine at night / They walk around in the broad daylight, in Hollywood...| Dig that face / They ain't seen nothin' like it any place / It's right up off the movie screen / If you know what I mean...| Look at me / I'm gonna be the cat to see / I'm going down in history / Just watch me...| Hollywood, where the streets are paved with gold / Where dream can never grow old / Right here in Hollywood...| [song fades]
So the kitty-cat went...
Meow, meow, meowy, meow!
Now just cut that out! Besides it was much more like... Meow, meow, meowy, meow, meow, bada, dump! Danny, wait. [hits Cranston] Oh, maybe one of us should talk to him.
Sawyer Cat
Oh, I'll do it. It's about time someone talked to him. Since he's tip-tapped into town he's been nothing but trouble.
Well, I guess this is gonna set me back a whole day. Nah, maybe only half a day.
Sawyer Cat
Look, Danny, I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but the fact is, since you...
I don't get it. What happened in there, anyway?
Sawyer Cat
[facepalms, annoyed]
Oh!
Did I hit a sour note?
Sawyer Cat
Wait!
Because if I did, I could go back in there. I could fix it.
Sawyer Cat
Danny! Danny, they are not interested.
But I...
Sawyer Cat
Don't you get it? What is it with you? Why are you so determined to make a fool of yourself?
What do you mean? All I wanna do is the thing I love. Doesn't everyone?
Sawyer Cat
It's really not simple.
It is in Kokomo.
Sawyer Cat
Then maybe that's where you should of stayed.
I better not sing right now.
You want some?
No, thanks, Pudge.
Oh, I was gonna slug that big dumb Max for you, but I don't wanna hurt the guy. So, what's that Dimple kid's problem? I thought you were great today!
I'm glad you liked it.
Oh, you know all, that a bob-doo-doo-dee-ya-aaaah! [falling down]
No, it's a little more like, here, I'll show you.
Wait a minute. Where-where's that music coming from?
Security Guard
[to the animals]
All right, all of you! Listen up! I only need you, water buffalo, for the Tarzan jungle stampede! The rest of you, go home!
Well, today's shot! Might as well go home and clean!
[He retreats back into his shell and turns on a vacuum, Sawyer types in the office.]
Here's our chance, Pudge. Come on! Hey, everybody!
Huh?
Oh, look who's back! I wish he'd get himself stuffed.
I know a divine taxidermist darling. Did my first husband.
[song to Animal Jam plays]
Come on, everybody, gather 'round! Don't let this old town getcha down. Look at you there with the long, long face.
Horse
[to another horse]
Hey, he must be talking to you.
You take this and you take that! Come over here, T.W., put on this hat! If we all work together, we can make our dreams come true! Let's show the world what we can do. Pudge?
Yeah! [plays drums]
Animal
Boogie with me!
[singing]
I got rhythm / In my feet / I got rhythm in my heart and soul / I got rhythm / Hot and sweet / Sometimes rhythm makes me loose control / Hat-cha-cha-chow! / I want everyone / To have all the fun / That I have / I got rhythm / So do you / Let's turn it on and show 'em what we can do!
Bye!
[The animals dancing while Tillie snaps Danny. Meanwhile, Max brushes Darla on his face]
Perfect! How could you possibly improve a face like this? What is that hideous racket?
[The animals dancing while then the animals singing and dancing]
Look at them. I'm ashamed to be an animal.
Oh, shut up, you old nanny, and show old Franny what you got.
Sawyer Cat
[Danny climbs the ladder and the light dust. Sawyer types the paper on the desk]
Huh? [music plays and she sees the animals; screams]
Come on, Sawyer. Grab a partner and do-si-do.
Hey, Sawyer, dance with me? I hear you're a natural.
Sawyer Cat
Who told you that?
Sawyer Cat
[Woolie trumpets]
Listen, Danny, it's a waste of time! You'll never get to dance in the movies.
Movies? Did I say movies? Not really, we're just having fun.
Sawyer Cat
Yeah, sure, forget it.
Look at those fools. Laughable isn't it Max? Max? [Max dancing and gasps] MAX! [growls]
Sawyer Cat
Hmm. [dancing]
Not bad, a little rusty, but hey, who's perfect?
Sawyer Cat
Rusty? [they all dancing] I'll give you rusty!
Sawyer Cat
Like I said, dancing is a waste of time.
What if I could get you an audition with L.B. Mammoth?
Sawyer Cat
L.B. Mammoth? Head of Mammoth Studios?
WHAT?!
I know he'd appreciate real talent.
After nothing but Darla, he's gotta be STARVING for it!
Sawyer Cat
[Darla growls and groans, which melts her mudpack facial off her face.]
You're dreaming, Danny!
Maybe I am. But so were you, just a few minutes ago.
Can you really get us an audition with the boss, Danny?
[He sees Darla and Max was the poster like a parody of Darladdin and the Magic Lamp]
It's worth a try. Once he sees us, there'll be a whole new set of stars in town.
An audition? Max! [snap fingers] Invite that cat. To tea...
All right, everybody. Mr. Mammoth will be here any minute. Get into position. Remember, do it like you did in the alley. Only make it big and loud this time. And don't be nervous.
Nervous? Why would I be nervous?
Rabbit
Give me that!
Sawyer Cat
Well, well. Run of the sound-stage, use of Darla's ark, costumes... I don't know. Something seems fishy.
I beg your pardon?
Sawyer Cat
Sorry. It's just that I smell a rat.
Mouse
Excuse me?
Sawyer Cat
Oh, never mind.
So, you decided to join us, huh?
Sawyer Cat
Me? Oh, no, no, no. This is never gonna work. Besides, how did you arrange all of this?
Let's just say a little angel's looking out for us.
Sawyer Cat
Oh, boy.
Come on, Sawyer. Your life isn't back there in that office. It's here.
Dance with me. See you on board.
Well?
Sawyer Cat
I can't do this.
And?
Sawyer Cat
I can't do this.
So?
Sawyer Cat
Why would do this to me?
Fortune says "Rough waters ahead". [shivers]
Start the rain, Pudge. When L.B. shows up we'll come out singing and dancing!
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I bring you the founder of Mammoth Pictures, Mr. L.B. Mammoth! Boom chachalaca boom chachalaca boom!
Reporter
Gee whiz, Mr. Mammoth, what's the secret of your success?
Simple! It's Dimple!
Dainty Delightful Darla Dimple!
Ah, the recipe for a Darla Dimple movie. Begin with one part adorable character in jeopardy.
[Inside the sound-stage, Darla has tied up Pudge]
Sorry, penguin, but in everyone's life, a little rain must fall. Max, man the valves!
Yes, Miss Dimple.
More water, Max. More water!
[Max opens the water valve even more, causing the shower heads to burst open]
Sprinkle in an air of innocence...
Wind, Max! We must have WIND!
[Max rips off the fan guard, grips one of the blades, and pushes it down, creating wind]
Stir in...
More water!
[Max rips off the water valve, sending gallons of water gushing out into the flood]
Add a pinch of...
Thunder!
[Max grips a steam pipe, which starts bulging at the bottom. Two gauges and a bulb burn out, harming Pudge. The steam pipe eventually bursts, letting off steam]
And an itsy-bitsy dash of...
LIGHTNING!!!
[Darla cackling evilly, Max slams the two lightning generators to create lightning]
Mix them all together, and what do you get?
[He presses the open door button and the stage doors open, revealing a flooded stage which then spills out into the lot with they screaming in terror. Flanigan leaps into his boss' arms] [panicking]
Mommy!
[The two friends scream their heads off, followed by the reporters, who scream and run for their lives. Then, the massive flood spills into the open lot, engulfing L.B. Mammoth and Flanigan. Back on the ark, Danny is at the steering wheel as he tries to steer the ark, while Woolie clings onto the crow's nest for dear life. The animal actors scream in terror as the ark does a corkscrew] [panicking]
Throw the anchor! Somebody, throw the anchor!
[Tillie tosses the anchor that catches Flanigan and L.B. Mammoth]
It's L.B.! [singing] We're on! Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag / And smile, smile, smile [bashing T.W. and Frances together]
Sawyer Cat
[imitating Danny]
"Your life isn't back there at the office". He says! "Dance with me". He says. [nags at him] You know what your problem is?! You're pushy, self centered, pig-headed... No offense, Herb.
Herb Pig
None taken.
Crewman
[The flood approaches a Samson and Delilah movie set]
Action. We're pushing, we're pushing... We're running, we're running!
Sawyer Cat
[Danny and Sawyer are covered in their Egyptian garb]
And, your driving stinks!
Well, maybe you could do better. Go ahead, you take it.
Sawyer Cat
You take it.
You take it.
Sawyer Cat
No, no, no.
If you think you know so much... Sawyer!
Sawyer Cat
I don't want it.
Well it doesn't get any worse than this. I was wrong. It's worse.
[gasps]
Oh my. This is an awkward moment. I don't think we met. I'm Tillie. Mr. Mammoth, Cranston, Cranston, Mr. Mammoth, Flanigan, Cranston... AAAAAAH!!!
Announcer
What appears to be a tidal wave, folks, is actually just a special effect.
Sawyer Cat
This has gone far enough! Give me that!
You didn't want it before! Give it!
Excuse me I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but we're about to...
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[in unison]
Will you just stay out of this?!
Ooh, sorry.
Let go. Let go.
Sawyer Cat
I'm telling you...
Receptionists
Good day, Mr. Mammoth.
You animals will never...
nibble kibble in this town again!
I think they liked it.
[out of outfit]
But it wasn't... [door gates closed] it wasn't their fault. [rumbling sounds]
Nice working with you, Danny. [laughs evilly]
Let go! Let me go! [spits a water]
Singing and dancing animals!
Sawyer Cat
She was your little angel?
She said she wanted to help us.
And you believed her?
But I... But I... Woolie, I would... I'd...
The spotlight will never be on fellows like you and me. Go home, son. Go home.
Sawyer Cat
[the song to Tell Me Lies plays] [singing]
I never believed that there was a rainbow / With a pot of gold at the end / I'm much too smart for fairy tales like that / Yet, here I am again...| I thought this time / This time, we're gonna make it / Why I thought so, I really don't know / Maybe something in his eyes just told me so / Something in his eyes...| Tell me lies, and I'll come runnin' / I must have lost my mind / I could close my eyes / And tell you just exactly what's comin' / Life's gonna turn just a little unkind...| Seems like everyone's sailing way out on the sea / And I'm stuck here on the shore / Sun's always shining, but it's never for me / Why should I try anymore?| Tell me lies, tell me lies / I'll just keep right on going / This time I've got to believe in the dream / This time I've got to believe in his dream...| [song fades]
Sawyer Cat
[Tillie leans back on diner]
Tillie!
You know you can still catch him at the bus stop.
Ladies and gentlemen. Wait! Please, take your seats! [coughs] Today we've come to honor Miss Darla Dimple. And because Darla Dimple cares she's arranged a special treat for you.
A special live show with an all animal cast!
Not this guppy.
Yeah. No, I'm with her.
Come on, Sawyer.
Unheard of, yes, of course, but not enough for America's Sweetheart Lover of Children and Animals!
No, no, no. Now, don't try to share the credit. You're the one who has wanted us to perform for L.B., and I was not dreaming of performing without my friend... [notices they are not there] I-I...
Silly cat. Run along now. Skit scat, Mr. Kitty Cat. Isn't he cute? Run along and play, Mr. Kitty!
Sawyer?
Sawyer Cat
We're all behind you, Danny. 100%. Don't let them go, Tillie!
Let go! Have you lost your mind?
Release me you mad hippo!
Wait.
One big happy family!
Just a minute. Please.
Would you just listen to me?
I'll chew your ears off!
Cranston!
The end is near! The fat lady sung!
Look, if you're willing to accept what they can think of you, then you can go! [everyone gasps] I almost did.
Well, you should have! Life here for animals is the pits, always playing the scapegoat!
Quickly forgotten!
Working for scale!
Then why are you still here?
Why?! [everyone pauses]
Because you can't forget the feeling, can you? The feeling you have when... [Refers to Cranston and Frances] when you two dance together. [Camera switches to Woolie] When you play. [Danny motions to Sawyer] When you sing. They cursed you, humiliated you, and even slam the door in your face. But they still haven't made you forget. Have they?
[searches through his fortune cookie papers]
They can smash your cookie, but... but you'll always have your fortune. [everyone grins] Huh.
Come on. Let's go show 'em what we can do.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Well... [yawns] It's kind of getting kind of more or less rather late!
You weren't right! Hit it Pudge!
[Pudge plays saxophone] [song to Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now plays; singing]
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen / If you would be so kind.
Humph!
Sawyer Cat
[singing]
I gotta song to sing / If you don't like my song I'm gonna sing it anyhow! / I gotta dream in my heart! / Yeah! Nothin's gonna stop us now!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Take 4 and 20 blackbirds / And bake 'em in a pie / Before you put it in the oven, babe, you know they're gonna fly.
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Now I'm gonna tell you why! / Yeah! Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Sawyer Cat
[singing]
And if I wanna dance I'll dance!
Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Just as long as the law will allow!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Dance and sing all night long! / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Yеah! Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Yeah!
[singing]
Look for me wherе there's the smell of danger! / The smell of danger is my middle name / I've been very quiet / But I've got a lot to say, believe me!
Frances Albacore and Cranston Goat
[singing]
If you ain't goin' with us then stay out of our way!
[singing]
Oh, Dear! Locked down, knocked down, locked down, shut down, held / Down, fell down, Everybody! / Push back, push back, get on a contract! / When you got yours you musta got mine!
All
[singing]
Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
I gotta feeling inside! / The moon! And it's love! Without a doubt! / Oh, I got someone I'm crazy about!! / Nothing's gonna stop us now!| Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Sawyer Cat
[singing]
No, no, no! / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[The crowd cheering]
Sawyer Cat
Well, now, let's see. [She takes Danny's list] Go to Premiere. Check. Land a big part, check. Get the girl? Check.
I love you, Sawyer.
Sawyer Cat
I love you, Danny.
[The two hold hands and were about to kiss, as a delighted Flanigan cuts in between them, kissing his cheeks instead]
Sweethearts! Celebrities! Darlings!
Chorus
[the movie posters are shown]
Can you feel the power now? / The day is ours / For you and I, there comes a time / To hold our heads high / We make a little history / Each time we dare to dream / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Our time has come, we're gonna / Walk in the sun, oh / I packed my hopes, we're ready to roll / We're on our way / We make a little history / Each time we dare to dream / Tell everyone, turn the spotlight on / Now our time has come...| Our time has come / Our time...| [song fades]
[Darla is seen working as a janitor putting up a "The End" poster on a wall. The poster falls down and wraps around her, and the end credits roll]
Other characters in Cats Don't Dance
Danny Cat
Scott Bakula
Darla Dimple
Ashley Peldon
Frances Albacore
Betty Lou Gerson
Peabo "Pudge" Pudgemeyer
Matthew Herried
Max
Mark Dindal
Tillie Hippo
Kathy Najimy
T.W. Turtle
Don Knotts
Cranston
Hal Holbrook
Flanigan
René Auberjonois
L.B. Mammoth
George Kennedy
Woolie the Mammoth
John Rhys-Davies
Narrator
Crazy credits