T.W. Turtle
Fortune says, "Raging waters ahead!"
8th most-quoted character in Cats Don't Dance (1997): in 8 of its 68 quotes
Most scenes with: Tillie Hippo (5), Danny Cat (4), Sawyer Cat (4)
There's no use trying; Miss Tillie. My fortune cookie last night said, "Give it up, you loser!"
More lines from T.W. Turtle
2 quotes
T.W. Turtle
They can smash your cookie, but you'll always have...your fortune!
Scenes with T.W. Turtle
5 scenes
Security Guard
[to the animals]
All right, all of you! Listen up! I only need you, water buffalo, for the Tarzan jungle stampede! The rest of you, go home!
T.W. Turtle
Well, today's shot! Might as well go home and clean!
[He retreats back into his shell and turns on a vacuum, Sawyer types in the office.]
Here's our chance, Pudge. Come on! Hey, everybody!
T.W. Turtle
Huh?
Oh, look who's back! I wish he'd get himself stuffed.
I know a divine taxidermist darling. Did my first husband.
[song to Animal Jam plays]
Come on, everybody, gather 'round! Don't let this old town getcha down. Look at you there with the long, long face.
Horse
[to another horse]
Hey, he must be talking to you.
You take this and you take that! Come over here, T.W., put on this hat! If we all work together, we can make our dreams come true! Let's show the world what we can do. Pudge?
Yeah! [plays drums]
Animal
Boogie with me!
[singing]
I got rhythm / In my feet / I got rhythm in my heart and soul / I got rhythm / Hot and sweet / Sometimes rhythm makes me loose control / Hat-cha-cha-chow! / I want everyone / To have all the fun / That I have / I got rhythm / So do you / Let's turn it on and show 'em what we can do!
Bye!
[The animals dancing while Tillie snaps Danny. Meanwhile, Max brushes Darla on his face]
Perfect! How could you possibly improve a face like this? What is that hideous racket?
[The animals dancing while then the animals singing and dancing]
Look at them. I'm ashamed to be an animal.
Oh, shut up, you old nanny, and show old Franny what you got.
[Danny climbs the ladder and the light dust. Sawyer types the paper on the desk]
Huh? [music plays and she sees the animals; screams]
Come on, Sawyer. Grab a partner and do-si-do.
Hey, Sawyer, dance with me? I hear you're a natural.
Who told you that?
[Woolie trumpets]
Listen, Danny, it's a waste of time! You'll never get to dance in the movies.
Movies? Did I say movies? Not really, we're just having fun.
Yeah, sure, forget it.
Look at those fools. Laughable isn't it Max? Max? [Max dancing and gasps] MAX! [growls]
Hmm. [dancing]
Not bad, a little rusty, but hey, who's perfect?
Rusty? [they all dancing] I'll give you rusty!
All right, everybody. Mr. Mammoth will be here any minute. Get into position. Remember, do it like you did in the alley. Only make it big and loud this time. And don't be nervous.
T.W. Turtle
Nervous? Why would I be nervous?
Rabbit
Give me that!
Well, well. Run of the sound-stage, use of Darla's ark, costumes... I don't know. Something seems fishy.
I beg your pardon?
Sorry. It's just that I smell a rat.
Mouse
Excuse me?
Oh, never mind.
So, you decided to join us, huh?
Me? Oh, no, no, no. This is never gonna work. Besides, how did you arrange all of this?
Let's just say a little angel's looking out for us.
Oh, boy.
Come on, Sawyer. Your life isn't back there in that office. It's here.
Dance with me. See you on board.
Well?
I can't do this.
And?
I can't do this.
So?
Why would do this to me?
T.W. Turtle
Fortune says "Rough waters ahead". [shivers]
Start the rain, Pudge. When L.B. shows up we'll come out singing and dancing!
[in a bar]
Well, there's always Broadway. Yeah! Broadway! I hear hippos are very big on Broadway!
They're big everywhere, darling!
T.W. Turtle
You know... this is all Danny's fault.
You got it brother. That toe-tapping tom!
I never trusted him. Too happy.
Well, I have to admit, we were better off before.
Well, let's face it. That cat ruined our already miserable lives.
Well, he's just a... He's a crackerjack is what he is.
She's right. You're doggone right.
T.W. Turtle
Nothing but trouble, that guy.
Horrid little being.
Bad luck! Old happy feet better not show his face around here again.
Ladies and gentlemen. Wait! Please, take your seats! [coughs] Today we've come to honor Miss Darla Dimple. And because Darla Dimple cares she's arranged a special treat for you.
A special live show with an all animal cast!
Not this guppy.
T.W. Turtle
Yeah. No, I'm with her.
Come on, Sawyer.
Unheard of, yes, of course, but not enough for America's Sweetheart Lover of Children and Animals!
No, no, no. Now, don't try to share the credit. You're the one who has wanted us to perform for L.B., and I was not dreaming of performing without my friend... [notices they are not there] I-I...
Silly cat. Run along now. Skit scat, Mr. Kitty Cat. Isn't he cute? Run along and play, Mr. Kitty!
Sawyer?
We're all behind you, Danny. 100%. Don't let them go, Tillie!
Let go! Have you lost your mind?
Release me you mad hippo!
Wait.
One big happy family!
Just a minute. Please.
T.W. Turtle
[Looking at his fortunes]
You will meet with disaster!
Would you just listen to me?
I'll chew your ears off!
Cranston!
T.W. Turtle
The end is near! The fat lady sung!
Look, if you're willing to accept what they can think of you, then you can go! [everyone gasps] I almost did.
Well, you should have! Life here for animals is the pits, always playing the scapegoat!
Quickly forgotten!
Working for scale!
Then why are you still here?
Why?! [everyone pauses]
Because you can't forget the feeling, can you? The feeling you have when... [Refers to Cranston and Frances] when you two dance together. [Camera switches to Woolie] When you play. [Danny motions to Sawyer] When you sing. They cursed you, humiliated you, and even slam the door in your face. But they still haven't made you forget. Have they?
T.W. Turtle
[searches through his fortune cookie papers]
They can smash your cookie, but... but you'll always have your fortune. [everyone grins] Huh.
Come on. Let's go show 'em what we can do.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Well... [yawns] It's kind of getting kind of more or less rather late!
You weren't right! Hit it Pudge!
[Pudge plays saxophone] [song to Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now plays; singing]
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen / If you would be so kind.
Humph!
[singing]
I gotta song to sing / If you don't like my song I'm gonna sing it anyhow! / I gotta dream in my heart! / Yeah! Nothin's gonna stop us now!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Take 4 and 20 blackbirds / And bake 'em in a pie / Before you put it in the oven, babe, you know they're gonna fly.
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Now I'm gonna tell you why! / Yeah! Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
Dance and sing all night long! / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Yеah! Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Yeah!
T.W. Turtle
[singing]
Look for me wherе there's the smell of danger! / The smell of danger is my middle name / I've been very quiet / But I've got a lot to say, believe me!
Frances Albacore and Cranston Goat
[singing]
If you ain't goin' with us then stay out of our way!
[singing]
Oh, Dear! Locked down, knocked down, locked down, shut down, held / Down, fell down, Everybody! / Push back, push back, get on a contract! / When you got yours you musta got mine!
All
[singing]
Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat
[singing]
I gotta feeling inside! / The moon! And it's love! Without a doubt! / Oh, I got someone I'm crazy about!! / Nothing's gonna stop us now!| Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!
[singing]
No, no, no! / Nothing's gonna stop us now! / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[The crowd cheering]
Other characters in Cats Don't Dance
Danny Cat
Scott Bakula
Sawyer Cat
Jasmine Guy
Darla Dimple
Ashley Peldon
Frances Albacore
Betty Lou Gerson
Peabo "Pudge" Pudgemeyer
Matthew Herried
Max
Mark Dindal
Tillie Hippo
Kathy Najimy
Cranston
Hal Holbrook
Flanigan
René Auberjonois
L.B. Mammoth
George Kennedy
Woolie the Mammoth
John Rhys-Davies
Narrator
Crazy credits
