Major Chip Hazard Major Chip Hazard! Reporting for duty!
Most-quoted character in Small Soldiers (1998): in 21 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nick Nitro (2)
Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes, or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. And, to the victors go the spoils. So remember: you are the best of the best of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!
More lines from Major Chip Hazard
17 quotes Major Chip Hazard Major Chip Hazard We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy!
Major Chip Hazard [taking out the chip from Nick Nitro's head]
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Major Chip Hazard [to Christy]
Are you scared? We're all scared. You just have to be crazy not to be scared.
Major Chip Hazard I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning!
Major Chip Hazard If it lacerates or detonates, I want it mobile and I want it lethal!
Major Chip Hazard An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady!
Major Chip Hazard Nick Nitro's battery has run out, but his memory will keep going, and going, and going.
Major Chip Hazard It's a small world after all.
Major Chip Hazard Expect no mercy.
Major Chip Hazard Gorgonite scum.
Major Chip Hazard [facing Archer]
You have a lot of guts. Let's see what they really look like.
Major Chip Hazard [pointing missile at Alan]
Ain't war hell?
Major Chip Hazard Having fun yet?
Major Chip Hazard [looking at the Commando Elite store]
We have lost the battle. We will not lose the war.
Major Chip Hazard [threatening Joe with a toy knife]
Greetings. You've been drafted. Move!
Major Chip Hazard [damaged severely]
There will be no mer-er-er-er-mercy.
Scenes with Major Chip Hazard
3 scenes Major Chip Hazard Sound off, soldiers!
Butch Meathook. Sniper. Lethal from any distance, sir!
Major Chip Hazard Glad to have you on board.
Nick Nitro. Demolition is my mission.
Major Chip Hazard Same as your father. He was a good man.
Brick Bazooka. Artillery. Sir!
Major Chip Hazard Save it for the enemy.
Link Static. Communications. Awaiting a patch of orders, sir.
Kip Killigan. Sharp as a razor, sir!
Major Chip Hazard Let me see that weapon. [grabbing Kip's gun, breaking it in half]Standard issue is insufficient.
It's...only a...flesh wound, sir.
Major Chip Hazard At ease, soldier. You did great.
Did...we...win? [his battery ran out]
Major Chip Hazard We will.
Major Chip Hazard Beware. There are 16 Gorgonites.
16? Where did they 16 from?
7 Gorgonites and 9 people.
Other characters in Small Soldiers
Alan Abernathy
Gregory Smith
Archer
Frank Langella
Stuart Abernathy
Kevin Dunn
Slamfist
Christopher Guest
Christy
Kirsten Dunst
Irwin Wayfair
David Cross
Butch Meathook
Jim Brown
Gwendy Doll
Larry Benson
Jay Mohr
Nick Nitro
Clint Walker
Phil Fimple
Phil Hartman
Brick Bazooka
George Kennedy
Insaniac
Michael McKean
Kip Killigan
Joe
Dick Miller
Link Static
Bruce Dern
More Tommy Lee Jones characters
Agent K
Marshal Samuel Gerard
Mike Roark
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Samuel Gerard
Robert Dewey
Dwight McClusky
Ryan Gaerity