Harvey Dent/Two-Face quotes from Batman Forever (1995)

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Ah. Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Let's start this party with a bang!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

The Bat's stubborn refusal to expire... IS DRIVING US INSANE!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into POWDER. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition: therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damned head off!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

It's an old-fashioned low-tech stick-up. We want to have the following: cash, jewelry, celullar telephones. Hand them over nice and quietly and no one will be hurt.

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE?!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Finally, justice is served! Let us die!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

I'll see you in Hell.

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Why yes, of course, you're right, Bruce. Emotion is always the enemy of true justice. Thank you. You've always been a good friend. [tosses the coin]

Alfred

May I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?

I'll get drive-through.

I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.

Dr. Chase Meridian

I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.

Commissioner Gordon

Can we reason with him? He's holding innocent people hostage up there.

Dr. Chase Meridian

He'll slaughter them without thinking twice.

Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim-

Meridian

-in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.

Exactly.

Dr. Meridian

Like you. [off his look] Well, let's just say that I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.

Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.

I simply love what you've done to this place; heavy metal meets house-and-garden. Splendid! It's so dark, and Gothic, and disgustingly decadent... yet so bright, and chipper, and... conservative. It's so you! And yet, so YOU! Yes, very few people are both a summer and a winter, but... you pull it off nicely.

Two-Face

Just get to the point, big boy.

Has anyone told you that you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!

Hey, Two-Face! Show me how to punch a guy!

Two-Face

It's darn simple, my boy; ball up a fist, reach way back, and assert yourself! [punches out cop]

Ooo! Sounds fun...lemme try, lemme try!

Two-Face

Ball up a fist...

Ball up a fist!

Two-Face

Reach way back...

Reach way back!

Two-Face

And assert yourself!

Assert yours—[punches another cop, but is ineffective] OW! OW!

Alfred

I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.

What? Is he alright?

Alfred

I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.

He ran away?

Alfred

Actually, he took... the car.

He boosted the Jag?

Alfred

No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.

The Bentley?

Alfred

No, sir... the other car.

Bastard! I should've been you! If you had told Two-Face who you were at the circus... They'd still be alive!

If Bruce Wayne could've given his life for your family, he would have.

All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you. And all the pain went away. Do you understand?

Yes, I do.

Good, 'cause you gotta help me find him. And when we do, I'm the one who kills him.

So, you're willing to take a life.

Long as it's Two-Face.

Then it will happen this way: you make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.

You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.

Yes, they were. We're the same.

I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What's a good sidekick name?

How about Dick Grayson, college student?

Screw you!

Like the jacket? It keeps me safe when I'm jogging at night!

Dr. Chase Meridian

Batman will come for me.

Batman? Batman, you say? Coming for you? [laughs, then makes weird noises] I'm... counting on it!

Each riddle contains a number, and they go in this order: 13, 1, 8 and 5. Perhaps... letters of the alphabet?

Alfred Pennyworth

Of course! 13 is M.

1 would be A, 8 would be H, and 5 would be E.

Alfred

M-A-H-E...

Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.

Alfred

18 is... R. M-R-E.

How about "Mr. E"?

Alfred

"Mystery".

And another name for mystery?

Alfred

Enigma.

Mr. E. Nygma... Edward Nygma. Stickley's suicide was obviously a computer-generated forgery.

Alfred

You really are quite bright, despite what people say.

Two-Face

B12!

Hit! And my favorite vitamin, I might add.

Holey rusted metal, Batman!

Huh?

The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.

Oh.

I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?

Why, that's easy, you're as blind as a bat!

Exactly

Here's a good one!

Two-Face

No, no! There is a good one.

That's just what I said. And then I taught my doggy a new trick! How to map the human mind.

Dr. Chase Meridian

Edward, please. Who is Batman?

I'm Batman! [laughs manically as he flaps his arms like wings]

Dr. Meridian

Your secret's safe. He's a complete wacko.

Wacko. That a... technical term?

Two-Face

You're counting on the winged avenger to deliver you from evil, aren't you, my friend?

Bank Guard

Are you gonna kill me?

Two-Face

Maybe, maybe not. You could say we're of two minds on the subject. Are you a gambling man? What say we flip for it?

Bank Guard

Oh no! It's boiling acid!

Two-Face

For your entertainment, we bring you the very acid that made us what we are today!