Shrek 2 (2004) · 103 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Shrek 2 (2004): in 16 of its 103 quotes
Most scenes with: Shrek (9), Donkey (6), Fairy Godmother (2)
Excuse me!
Fiona Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after.
Royal ball? Can I come?
We're not going.
What?
I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
Fiona Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Fiona Stop it. They're not like that.
How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
Are we there yet?
No.
Fiona Not yet.
Okay. Are we there yet?
Fiona No.
Are we there yet?
No!
Are we there... yet?
Yes.
Really?
NO!
Are we there yet?!
Fiona No!
Are we there yet?!
No, we are not!
ARE WE THERE YET?!?!
NO!!!!!!
Hey, that's not funny.
Hey, that's not funny.
Oh, that's really immature!
Oh, that's really immature!
See, this is why nobody likes ogres!
See, this is why nobody likes ogres!
All right, your loss!
All right, your loss.
I'm just gonna stop talking!
Finally!
But this is takin' forever, Shrek, and ain't no in-flight movie or nothin'!
The kingdom of Far Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far... far... away.
All right, all right. I get it! I'm just so darn BORED!
Well, find a way to entertain yourself!
Oh! For 5 minutes... could you not be yourself? [exploding] FOR 5 MINUTES!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!
Fiona Yes!
Oh, finally!
Fiona Oh! Excuse me.
Better out than in, I always say.
Harold!
Fiona Shrek!
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona Mom!
Harold...
Donkey!
Fiona She's just trying to help--
Good! She can help pack the bags! We're leaving.
Fiona Leaving?! When did you decide this?
Shortly after arriving!
It's kind of a long story, but, you see, Shrek and I took some magic potion, and now... we're sexy!
Fiona Shrek?
For you baby... I could be.
Yeah, you wish.
It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...
Two can be as bad as one...
Donkey?
Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?
Donkey, what are you doing here?
Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!
Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?
Yeah, and feeding the fish!
I don't have any fish.
You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... [mumbling to the "fish"]
Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.
Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?
Fiona Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?
Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!
Fiona Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey.
But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.
Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.
Donkey!
Yes, roomie?
You're bothering me.
Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. [heads outside]
He'll be fine. Now where were we? [realizes] Oh, I think I remember. [leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him] Donkey!
I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?
Enough, Reggie. [unfolds the scroll] "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage, at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you [looks up to see Shrek] and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. [closes the scroll] aka, Mom and Dad."
Fiona Mom and Dad?
Prince Charming?
We're not going.
What?
I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?
Fiona Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.
Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Fiona Will you stop it? They're not like that.
Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
Fiona Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!
Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?
Fiona No, they just want to give you their blessing.
Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?
Fiona Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!
And who says I wanna be a part of this family?
Fiona Um, you did, when you married me!
Well, there's some fine print for you!
Fiona So, that's it? You won't come?
Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and that's final!
Fiona I have a fairy godmother!
Halt!
Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see you!
Fiona!
Fiona Shrek?
Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?
Fiona I'm not going.
But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.
Fiona There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.[sees Prince Charming] I mean, look at him!
Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You’d be surprised how much I change for your mother.
Fiona "Change"? [about Prince Charming] He's completely lost his mind.
Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.
Fiona But it's the old one I fell in love with, dad.
Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.
Fiona Thanks.
Fiona Is that glitter on your lips?
Cherry flavored. Want a taste?
Stop! [to Charming] Hey, you! Back away from my wife!
Fiona Shrek? [Everyone gasps]
You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone!
Fiona They're so sweet together.
I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. [groans] What's next, a singing donut?
