Puss in Boots Who dares enter my room?
Voiced by Antonio Banderas 
Shrek 2 (2004) · 103 quotes
Shrek 2 (2004) · 103 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Shrek 2 (2004): in 25 of its 103 quotes
Most scenes with: Donkey (12), Shrek (9)
Eh, tú pedazo de carne con patas! Como te atreves a hacerme esto?! [Spanish for "Oi, you slab of meat with legs! How dare you do this to me?!"]
More lines from Puss in Boots
11 quotes Puss in Boots Puss in Boots [after Donkey catches the "Happily Ever After" potion in his mouth]
Finally, a good use for your mouth.
Puss in Boots I hate Mondays.
Puss in Boots Whatever happens, I must not cry. You cannot make me cry!
Puss in Boots Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?
Puss in Boots You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.
Puss in Boots Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me. Where I can find this ogre?
Puss in Boots Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!
Puss in Boots Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!
Puss in Boots [Guard: Catnip.]
That's, uh, not mine.
Puss in Boots [from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]
Glad to be of assistance.
Scenes with Puss in Boots
13 scenes
Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
Ah, yeah, that's more like it! Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure! [singing as he and Shrek start walking away] Ain't no stoppin' us now, whoo! / We're on the move...
Puss Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Join the club, we have jackets.
Puss in Boots On my honor! I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared me mine.
Oh, I'm sorry, but the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
Hey man, you wanna get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face? Man, it stinks!
Puss Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses!
Puss Ah yes, boss. I was concocting this very plan. Already our minds... are becoming one...
Woah woah woah, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
Puss Just in case there is something wrong with the potion, allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you.
No, no, no. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. That's the best friend's job. Now gimme that potion!
[He grabs the "Happily Ever After" potion in his mouth and chugs down some of it]
How do you feel?
... I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss You still look like an ass to me.
It's kind of a long story, but, you see, Shrek and I took some magic potion, and now... we're sexy!
Puss For you baby... I could be.
Yeah, you wish.
Is he really that good looking?
Doris
Are you kiddin'? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like that it was carved by angels.
Puss Mmmm, he sounds dreamy.
You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better.
Anouncer
Tonight on "Knights"...
Gingerbread Man
Now here's a good show!
We got a white bronco heading east in the forest. Requesting backup.
Anouncer
It's time for the men in steel to teach these madcap mammals that their "devil may mare" attitudes ain't gonna fly.
Come on, I have to talk to Princess Fiona!
Ow! Ow!
Anouncer
Will they get away with it, or did somebody let the cat out of the bag?
Puss You capitalist pig dogs!
[Puss attacks a knight, then he is pinned up against a wall] Knight [Sniffs a small bag] Catnip!
Puss Um, that's not mine?
Hold on! Find Princess Fiona!
I'm a donkey!
Tell her-- Shrek! I'm her husband, Shrek! [Gets another face full of pepper] Ow! Ow!
Anouncer
That's tonight on "Knights".
LEMME OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US UP LIKE THIS! LEMME GO! HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!!!
Donkey! You have the right to remain silent! What you lack is the capacity.
Puss I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
Shrek? Donkey?
Puss [sees all the fairytale creatures above him]
Too late!
Puss Go! Your lady needs you. Go! Today, I repay my debt.
Puss [draws sword]
En garde!
Pray for mercy from Puss...
Puss ...and Donkey!
Puss in Boots [It is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]
Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. [hisses]
Oh, look, a little cat.
It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. [Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]
GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!
Shrek, hold still! [kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans] Did I miss?
Puss in Boots [after he attacks Shrek]
Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... [slashes "P" on the tree] Puss... in Boots!
No!
Puss in Boots Ah-ha-ha-ha! [drops the sword, then starts heaving for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs] Phew. [chuckles] Hairball.
I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!
Puss in Boots [frightened]
Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold, and I have a litter of brothers--
[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss in Boots The rich king? Sí. [Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]
Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.
[sits on the rock]
Gee, thanks. [looks down at the river reflection and sighs] Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
Puss in Boots Sí, that's what the king said. [Donkey glares angrily] Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.
Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. [pauses out; to Donkey] Hold the phone... [pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card] "Happiness." [flips it over] "A teardrop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!
Oh, man, where do I begin? Well, first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and started beatin' me with a stick, going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!
No, Donkey, I need you to cry!
Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- [Puss impatiently stomps on his hoof; in pain] OW!!! [tearfully] You little hairy litter-licking sack of... [Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]
["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]
What? Is it on? Is it on? [clears her throat] This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! [the bubble pops]
Ohhh.
Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! [singing] Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!
Puss in Boots Stop, ogre! [bows to Shrek] I have misjudged you.
Join the club. We've got jackets.
Puss in Boots On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared me mine.
I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! [sees Shrek walking to Puss] Shrek? [slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles] Shrek!
Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him, in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!
Say what?! [Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]
Aw, listen. He's purring!
Oh, so now it's cute!
Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.
Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!
[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory] [reading the potion bottle]
"Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."
I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. [opens the potion bottle]
Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.
It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? [sniffs the potion and sneezes]
A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!
Puss in Boots Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.
Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. [snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]
How do you feel?
I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss in Boots You still look like an ass to me.
Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.
Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.
I know.
No more wallowing in the mud?
I know.
No more itchy butt crack?
I know!
But you love being an ogre!
I know! [sighs] But I love Fiona more. [starts chugging the potion]
Shrek, no! Wait! [Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hide behind the rock, then... Shrek lets out a fart] Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.
Puss in Boots Maybe it's a dud.
Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.
[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]
Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! [rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet] Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! I'm melting! I'M MELTING!
It's just the rain, Donkey.
[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a rose.]
[After Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]
Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy, and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. [Puss hisses at him] It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. [sings, then gets dizzy] The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...
Bet my bottom?
I'm comin', Elizabeth! [faints]
Donkey? A-Are you all right?
Puss in Boots Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
Puss in Boots [enters with two ladies]
Amigo. We are off to the Kit Kat club. Come on, join us.
Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.
Puss in Boots We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! [a roar is heard]
[delighted]
Hey, baby! [the Dragon from the first film flies in the scene.] Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? [Dragon cries] I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What are you talking about? Are you serious?! [a baby dronkey flies in]
Dronkey
Papa!
AAAH! [One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.] Look at our little mutant babies! [the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.] I gotta get a job.
