Burger-Beard There's only one thing worse than talking birds, and that would be... SINGING BIRDS!
Most-quoted character in The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015): in 10 of its 84 quotes
Most scenes with: SpongeBob SquarePants (2), Sheldon J. Plankton (2)
The story of how Bikini Bottom was brought to its knees when its beloved Krabby Patty formula was stolen by me, Burger Beard.
More lines from Burger-Beard
6 quotes Burger-Beard Burger-Beard And so, Bikini Bottom became an apocalyptic cesspool forevermore. The end! [closes the book, then stands up and stretches]
Burger-Beard And so, it would seem that our heroes have accomplished all they had set out to do. [Burger Beard shuts the book]
Burger-Beard All right, you feathered rats, time to shove off!
Burger-Beard Come on. Team up with me. We'll be rich and powerful! Huh?
Burger-Beard Oh, Kyle... How can I say no to you?
Scenes with Burger-Beard
3 scenes
Mr. Krabs The Krabby Patty is what ties us all together! Without the secret formula, there will be a complete breakdown of social order! A war of all against all! Dark times ahead! Dark times indeed!
Seriously? Aren't you overreacting a bit?
Mr. Krabs [The scene shifts to Mr. Krabs, Squidward and the Bikini Bottom citizens in their apocalyptic forms and the Bottomites run off around the ruins of Bikini Bottom]
Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like leather.
I prefer suede.
[Patrick is hitting his rock home with the word "Grandma" on the bottom with a hammer]
Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick Vandalizing stuff in my house.
Isn't that your house?
[SpongeBob is playing a miniature piano while Plankton tiptoes into the Chum Bucket to get a key]
Will you stop playing that tiny piano?! [quietly] You're gonna get us caught.
Cotton candy.
Sandy If you ate all of that, you would have enough energy to run around the whole world.
[SpongeBob and Patrick jump into the Cotton Candy machine and they both twirl around in it as cotton candy forms around them, they soon come to a stop and suck all the cotton candy around them off. The pair start going hyper and begin laughing as they seemly run all over the world although it turns out that they are actually standing in front of a postcard stand with Sandy taking one of the cards out from its rack]
[blocking his head with his hands]
Ahh! When is the sugar gonna wear off? [SpongeBob and Patrick fall over on their frontsides]
The Invincibubble
Sour Note?
Kyle
[Sour Note takes out his clarinet and extends it. He took a big deep breath and then blows his clarinet, playing horrible music, causing Burger Beard's customers to cover their ears and run away]
My tiny little eardrums!
Burger-Beard [as customers run away]
Hey, hey, wait! Hold on! Hold on! Wait! Wait! Customers! Wait, please! [angered, he walks toward SpongeBob and the others]
The Invincibubble
Mr. Superawesomeness, take him down.
Mr. Superawesomeness
[Mr. Superawesomeness scrunches his face and ice cream cones are yanked from beachgoers. In a dramatic gesture, he grabs the cones and holds them up. As the sky darkens and lightning strikes, Burger Beard holds up a pink umbrella. Suddenly, Mr. Superawesomeness smiles and licks the ice cream]
Mmmmmmm! [giggles]
The Invincibubble
Uhh, Maybe we should've picked a better superpower for you, Patrick.
The Invincibubble
Alright, here comes the pain!
Burger-Beard Hah! [opens a hatch and many cannons came out of the front hatch]
The Invincibubble
Ah!
Mr. Superawesomeness
[Burger-Beard fires a cannon ball at SpongeBob, but it goes through his bubble wand and into a bubble. The pirate fires more cannon balls with SpongeBob jumping repeatedly and getting them in many bubbles]
They're beautiful. [pops a bubble, causing the cannon ball from inside to land on his face]
Mr. Superawesomeness
SpongeBob!
The Invincibubble
Patrick?
Mr. Superawesomeness
Talk to me, buddy.
The Invincibubble
I'm seeing a bright light.
Mr. Superawesomeness
[blocks the sun]
Is this better?
The Invincibubble
Much. Thank you.
You're not gonna start singing, are you?
♪ Teamwork! ♪
Oh, brother.
♪ We can do anything when we have teamwork. ♪ [The word "Teamwork" appears] ♪ Don't you think so, my friend? ♪
♪ No te-am work. It's getting in the way of my sche-am work. ♪ [Plankton blows up the word "Teamwork] ♪ What don't you comprehend? ♪
♪ But working together is the key. Nothing's impossible when it's you and me! ♪ [he and Plankton are building a house]
♪ I'm doing just fine on my own. ♪
♪ Work is no fun when you do it alone! ♪
♪ If I want it done right, I'll do it by myself! ♪
♪ But what if you need something on a higher shelf? ♪
[using a bulldozer]
♪ Well, that's exactly why you need a partner helping you with this important job! ♪
♪ I'll be the hammer, and you'll be the nail. ♪
♪ I'll be the boat, and you'll be the sail! ♪
♪ I'm the flower, you're the aroma! ♪
♪ Right now I wish I was in a coma! ♪
Come on! ♪ I'm here for you, and you're here for me! ♪
♪ It's better when you, plus me, equals we! ♪ [his holes turn into Planktons] ♪
♪ Working together in harmony! ♪ [SpongeBob and Plankton climbs up a Mountain and puts a flag on top]
♪ Side by side, we can reach our dreams, cause nothing's impossible, when we're a team! ♪ [Back in Bikini Bottom]
All right, you can put me down [SpongeBob sets him down on a rock] Well... [sighs] That's one minute of my life I'll never get back.
Not without a time machine.
Wait a minute, hold that thought. [SpongeBob grabs a thought bubble with a question mark on it.] Now back up.
Enihcam emit a tuohtiw ton. (Not without a time machine.)
Slow down.
[Inside the restaurant]
Sure. It's got everything we need. A photo booth, a cuckoo clock, [The clock goes off] some day old chips. Now all we have to do is build it.
[SpongeBob plays his pitch pipe again but Plankton takes it into the photo booth]
Oh, no, you don't.
Hey, my pitch pipe.
Uh, I need it for the time machine.
Oh, okay. [Plankton smashes the pitch pipe with a hammer and flushes it down a toilet off-screen]
[walks out of the photo booth]
Installed!
[They start building the time machine, Plankton uses a big hammer while SpongeBob uses a small one, then SpongeBob pour a bucket of nuts and bolts into an opening at the top of the photo booth, then he saws a block of wood while Plankton holds on to the other end, then Plankton runs on a screwdriver while SpongeBob pushes it close slowly, they break for lunch where SpongeBob eats a taco while Plankton has a sausage, then SpongeBob tries to loop a pink thread through a needle when Plankton helps him, Plankton signals SpongeBob to install a tube into an opening, then he turns the clock hand backwards and the time machine starts up]
I did it!
No. We did it.
Wait. We did do it. As a te-am.
A team.
Whatever.
♪ Working together in harmony! ♪ [SpongeBob and Plankton pops out of the Peanut Butter and Jam jars]
♪ Side by side, we can reach our dreams, cause nothing's impossible, when we're a team! ♪
Karen
[Inside the time machine, he pushes Karen into the opening and she powers up]
Okay, Plankton, this is it. It's gonna take all my processors and energy to power this time machine. So, if you have anything you wanna tell me, you better tell me now.
Well, Karen. I know I've taken you for granted all these years and I... I just wanted to say... I'm glad you're on my te-am.
Karen
Oh, Sheldon. That's the sweetest thing you've ever s--
[Plankton flips a switch and Karen shuts off and her screen flashes 12:00 AM, Plankton starts to cry]
Plankton, are you crying?
No, no, no, it's just one of the hazards of having a giant eyeball. [wipes his tear away] There's always stuff getting in there. Anyway, [Clears throat] where were we? [from outside the time machine] Say "cheese".
[They travel through a time space vortex where Squeeze Me by N.E.R.D. plays and they crash through a giant taco leaving their cartoony outlines, The Time Machine take SpongeBob and Plankton to a desert part of Bikini Bottom four days in the future, they step out and explore]
According to my calculations, the Krusty Krab should be right here.
What's that over there?
Future Patrick [Patrick turns around who is now rapidly aged with gray hair, eyebrows and a long beard]
SpongeBob?
Patrick?
Future Patrick Is it really you?
Yes, Patrick. It's–
Future Patrick Finally! The Great Krabby Patty Famine is over!
Great Krabby Patty Famine? Oh, what year is this?
Future Patrick It's Thursday.
According to my calculations, we've only gone 4 days into the future.
Where is everybody?
Future Patrick They all gave up on you but not me! 'Cause I'm not very smart.
Where is the Krusty Krab?
Future Patrick Right where it's always been.
Past SpongeBob
[The wind blows a bunch of sand away revealing Patrick sitting on The Krusty Krab sign, SpongeBob gasps, then he and Plankton run back into the time machine] [At the Krusty Krab two days in the past] [walks in, gasps]
Plankton?!
Past Plankton
SpongeBob!?
Past SpongeBob
[time machine appears and SpongeBob and Plankton walk out]
Plankton?! [gasps]
Past Plankton
SPONGEBOB?! Who are you two supposed to be?
I'm you from the future.
Past Plankton
So you traveled back through time to help me? Great thinking!
Nope. He's helping me.
Past SpongeBob
[gasps]
But he's the enemy.
Was the enemy. Now we're a team.
Past Plankton
What, a te-am?
A team! All right, go get the formula.
Past SpongeBob
[SpongeBob runs over to the safe]
What have I become?
All right, Plankton. [tries to grab the secret formula from Plankton's past self]
Past SpongeBob
Do you have flying boat mobiles in the future?
We only came back from the day after tomorrow, dim wit.
Past SpongeBob
Are there rocket packs?
Past SpongeBob
[SpongeBob trying to get the formula]
Did they outlaw clothes in the future?
NO!
Past SpongeBob
Then why are you naked?
'Cause they don't make clothes in my size.
Hold still you! [SpongeBob tries to grab the formula when Plankton's past self runs away]
Past SpongeBob
If you're from the future, what am I gonna say next?
Something moronic?
Past SpongeBob
Wow!
Hey, hurry up over there!
Past Plankton
[SpongeBob knocks the decoy formula bottle off the pressure plate and the light goes on and it beeps; screams]
Uh oh, that ain't good.
Computer Voice
[as a red light turns on and off]
Initiating Lockdown Sequence.
Come on, SpongeBob. We gotta get outta here.
Come on!
[SpongeBob runs into the time machine and they return to the present] [laughing together]
Oh, that was crazy.
So that's what teamwork is. All those years, I tried to make you mine and I finally did it. I mean, we did it!
Burger-Beard [Back with Burger-Beard and the seagulls]
And so, it would seem that our heroes have accomplished all they had set out to do.
Andy
[Burger-Beard is seen reading and piloting the ship at the same time. He shuts the book]
Now that's an ending.
Seagull
Woohoo!
Burger-Beard [he laughs at Plankton's small stature]
Why don't you get going, little fella, before you hurt yourself?
The Invincibubble
[Plankton slides out of view, then he begins to lift the pirate ship. He is now Plank-Ton the muscular giant] [surprised]
Plankton?
Plank-Ton
It's Plank-Ton! [to Burger-Beard] Come on down from there, little fella. You wouldn't wanna get hurt. Huh?
Plank-Ton
[Burger-Beard climbs inside his ship and Plankton growls and he throws the ship into the air, catches it and spins it on his finger like a basketball and he pokes his head into a porthole of the ship]
Come out, come out wherever you are. Huh? [Burger-Beard squirts ketchup in Plank-Ton's face; screams] MY EYE!!
The Invincibubble
[He drops the pirate ship. It crashes into the street and Burger-Beard climbs out and runs away]
He's getting away!
Plank-Ton
[he jumps over to the ship]
Ready for a Plank-Ton of bubbles?
Plank-Ton
[Invincibubble smiles at the idea. Plank-Ton picks him up by Invincibubble's legs, takes a deep breath and blows into Invincibubble's bubble wand creating lots of bubbles coming after Burger Beard. The bubbles clear to show Plank-Ton holding Burger-Beard in his fingers and he tries to run]
The formula, please.
Burger-Beard Come on. Team up with me. We'll be rich and powerful! Huh?
Plank-Ton
No, thanks. I'm already part of a teamwork.
[Burger-Beard gives Plank-Ton the formula and he kicks Burger-Beard back to Bikini Atoll where he his body is buried in the sand. He mutters nonsense]
Burger Beard [as he is reading the story]
Once upon a time, under the sea, there was a little town called Bikini Bottom. In this town, there was a place called the Krusty Krab, where folks would come to eat a thing called the Krabby Patty. Every greasy spoon has a fry cook. And the one who worked here was named SpongeBob SquarePants.
