What do you mean you don't understand? What's there to understand. We've been over this 1,000 times. I don't want to have to say it again. You know, you're really giving me agita, you know that. I don't know what else to say this. Lenny, you see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. Thanks. That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you? Your brother, Frankie, here, he's a killer.
He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. Wipe your face, but you... I'm hearin' things. You gotta understand when you look weak, it makes me look weak.
Lenny I know.
Lenny Pop, I'm sorry.
Lenny. Lenny. Look at me. Look at me. This handin' over the business is for both of us and you're acting like you don't even want it. I need to know you can handle that. [sighs] [splutters] Alright, alright. Right here in front of me now, eat this.
Lenny [whimpers]
Gee, thanks, Pop. Here's the thing. I'm on a diet. And I read an article about these shrimps, they're not good for ya. I tell you. You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps? A lot.
It's true. It's true and the other thing is, my sister had a baby and I took it over because she passed away, and then the baby lost its legs, and its arms and he doesn't put a stump, but I still take care of it with my wife and it's growing and it's fairly happy, but it's difficult 'cause I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table, but all the love and I see that little guy's face makes worth it in the end. True story.
[sighs]
I'm not askin' you anymore. I'm tellin' you. Eat it!
Lenny Pop, please...
Son, eat the shrimp! Please!
Lenny No, please.
Lenny Put the shrimp down! [Lenny grabs the shrimp and lets it go.] Go now. No one's looking. Get out of here. You're free now, go on. Go. Go.
You're a good person. [glares at Lino, then gestures to some other shrimp] Come on, fellas.
Pop, I can handle the reef. It's not a problem.
No. No. We're gonna do this as a family. Frankie, I want you to take Lenny out, and show him the ropes.
Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark. Whether you like it or not.
[Oscar finds out from Luca that Don Lino had captured Angie in order to force a sit-down]
They got Angie. And they want a sit-down. I never meant for anybody to get hurt, especially not Angie. This is all my fault.
That's a classic move. I've seen it a thousand times.
Lenny They take the thing you love the most, and then they use it against you.
[after a moment of silence]
Look, we gotta go to that sit-down, and we gotta save her.
Lenny Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I wanna save Angie, too. But I can't just waltz in there and say, "Hi, Pop, I'm a dolphin!"
Lenny "And my friend the Sharkslayer here's a fake!"
Lenny Come on, we're gonna need a better plan than that!
[laughs]
This is a joke, right? This is a joke. Because you know, I told Lino... [suddenly flashes back to his phone call with Lino]
[over phone]
Shut up, Lino. Shut up! [Don Lino growls]
[After flashback, Sykes inflates in a fit of panic] [in a high-pitched voice]
Tell me you didn't make it all up, kid! Tell me that's not Lenny! Tell me you're a real Sharkslayer, please!
[sadly]
I'm sorry, Sykes. I'm not. [his mood suddenly brightens] But the sharks don't know that.
[A dark ship. The camera fades in, showing Don Lino feeding his fish] [to his fish]
How are my babies this morning? You miss me? You doing good? Huh? Huh? [To Sykes] You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world, [he drops a food pellet into the tank] you either take, or you get taken. [The fish sprout razor teeth and devour the pellet as Lino closes the tank's lid]
[hastily]
Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? That all? We done?
Now, you and me, we worked together a long, long, long time.
Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been like work.
Let me finish. That I've lived my life for my sons. Raising and protecting them...
You're the best! He's the best, right? Am I right or am I wrong? Am I right?
It's all been to prepare...
Yeah. It's all right. ...for the day they run the reef. Well, today is that day. [pauses; The record player gets stuck] Luca.
[moves the needle; the record player plays "Baby Got Back" by Six Mix-a-Lot; Luca quickly moves the needle again and it cuts off]
Hey, Boss, big butts! [chuckles]
[facepalming]
Oy vey. Long story short, from now on yous work for Frankie and Lenny. Capiche?
[laughs a bit]
Lenny? Frankie, I understand, but Lenny? You can't be serious.
I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things. Now Lenny, he's got the brains. That's something special.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. I'm just saying...
Hey, I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what, and what?
"What, what" nothing. You said "what" first.
I didn't say what first. I asked you what.
No, you said "And then what?", and I said "What?"
[confused]
No, I said "what what", like what, what?! [brief pauses]
[breakling paused]
You said "what" first.
[annoyed]
Now you're makin' fun of me?!
[hastily]
No, no, no, no, you misunderstood! [His sons arrived]
Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident. He was born.
Lenny [sarcastic laughter]
You're a comic genius.
Look, all I'm saying is the kid ain't exactly no killer.
My Lenny is a killer! Ya hear me? A cold-blooded killer! Look at him! [Lino and Sykes both notice Lenny obliviously spinning around on his chair; Frankie shakes his head]
[paused; moreness annoyedling]
That's it. That's IT! You are OUT!
[shocked]
What?! [inflates; high pitched] Whaddya mean I'm "out"?!
You're fired! [pushes Sykes; Sykes screams and lands on a picture across the room] And on top of that, you're gonna have to start paying me!
[ominously]
So nothing happens to that little Whale Wash of yours. [Cut to the Oscar and workers at the Whale Wash]
[while shoveled the slime off the whale's tongue]
Welcome to Oscar's crib. 60 foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swim-in cavities and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little… [exasperated] old school!
Ah, stop your moaning, Oscar! It could be a lot worse, you know?
Yeah, that's true. I could have this job, and look like you! [laughs; sudden rumbling] Indigestion... SHE'S GONNA BLOW! [Workers start scattering]
K Knuckles
Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there. [Headphone Guy is cleaning the whale, oblivious to the rumbling]
[yelling]
I GOT YOU, HEADPHONE GUY! [he and Headphone Guy brace themselves on the whale's uvula. The scrubbers peak when...the whale let us out a small belch, sending some slime onto Oscar. The workers laughs]
[groans as he rubs the slime off him]
Still think it could be worse?
Yeah! I could look like you!
Haha! Ya'll funny. Well, see if you laugh at THIS! [throws slimeball at Pontrelli, who ducks with a laughs, and it hits in splat instructor Johnson, causing him to stagger around and accidentally hits a button that sprays soap in the whale's eye, causing the whale to screams in pain and anogy]
SOAP IN THE EYE, SOAP IN THE EYE! [Flips the emergency; the grabbers grab the screams whale very tightly; quickly cleans the whale's eye] It's alright. I'ma get you some nice coupons, we gonna get you a free hot wax and all you like that? Alright, go ahead, Big Baby.
Alright. [gets slapped on the back by Ernie and shocked, causing the bucket to land on his head]
Well, look who it is, Bernie.
Just the fish we're looking for.
Yeah. [Oscar struggles to remove the bucket]
The boss be needing to see you right now.
[getting the bucket off]
Ernie, Bernie, my jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka. Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all... Huh? What'd you say, Ang? Okay. Fellas, I'm gonna go ahead over there. [singing] But don't worry [beatboxes] About a thing 'Cause every little thing [Bernie and Ernie shakes the head no] Is gonna be all right... [gets slapped again]
That's not the way you sing that song, one. [Cut into the Oscar is tossed into Sykes' office and rolls into his desk]
Hey, Sykes! My brother from another mother. What the deezy, baby? [Oscar tries dapping Sykes up, who sighs annoyed at his antics] Show me dat. What's going down? Hey, baby, this is all gravy today. Now snap your fin... Snap it. You're not snapping it...
[pulls his hand back]
Oscar!
Hey, don't sweat it. A lot of white fish can't do it.
Oscar, would you just sit down, okay?
[Ernie and Bernie force him into a chair]
Thank you.
I've been going over my markers. You're into me for five grand. 5 G's, okay?
5 Gs? Man, you tripping, 5 Gs.
Oh, yeah? See if [throws unpaid loan documents at Oscar] this refreshes your memory.
[As he picks them back up into a pile and places them on Sykes' desk]
That's crazy, look at that. You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget. This a perfect example of why you're in management, and I'm not. You go, boy.
Look, I have to start paying Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him!
Simple - the food chain! [pulls out chart] You see, on top there's Don Lino, there's me, and there's regular fish.
No. There's plankton, there's single-celled amoebas.
I'm getting there, I'm getting there. There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poo, and then there's you.
So if Don Lino's squeezing me... he's squeezing you!
What? [the chart suddenly pulls up, catching Sykes in the chin]
Easy, boss. Find a happy place.
There is no happy place with him around! [agitated he puffs up; higher pitched] I'm SERIOUS!
AH! All right, look! Just give me another chance-! I-I'm begging you, Sykes please! Please!
[high-pitched]
All right. [deflates; normally] Because I "like" you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.
All of it? How am I supposed to do that?
That's your problem. Bring me 5,000 clams to the racetrack tomorrow, or else.
The boys will explain. [exits his office]
[Ernie and Bernie approach Oscar while grinning and laughing in a threatening manner; cut to black as they sting him as a warning] [off-screen and strained]
Unpleasant.
Lenny [Frankie and Lenny are swimming out of Lino's shipwreck]
Frankie, you know I can't do this.
Lenny, if you want to make Pop happy, you've got to kill something.
Lenny Or, I could find an old, sick fish and just wait.
It's getting around, the other day at the restaurant, you know how fish talk. Biddi-bip, biddi-bop, this-that, the other, then how you doing? Boom! Forget about it, ya dead.
Lenny Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise-guy, so you're gonna have to be specific.
Oh specific? You want specific? [smacks him] Be a shark for once in your life!
Lenny Ow! [downhearted] Oh, what am I going to do?
[apologetically]
Oh, Lenny, forget it about, okay, look, we do a couple practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on, capisce?
Lenny Okay, okay, capisce.
[noticing Oscar's anchoring]
Wait, wait... Whoa. Bingo. Right there, dead ahead. You see it? TV Dinner. [the two hunker on the outer border of the divot] Don't get easier than this.
Lenny All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this! What if I can't do this?
Then don't bother coming home.
Lenny Good point! All right. [swims to the bottom of the wasteland]
Hit him in the tail again. I like the funny face he make.
[noticing Lenny's approach]
Ernie!
BLOW OUT! [they swim away in panic]
[Manages to get an arm free and removes his gag]
Uh... Guys? Guys, don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here!
Lenny [he is near, Oscar notices him and screams]
Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm not gonna…
Lenny What?
Like this. [makes animalistic chews motions and sounds, Lenny licks Oscar's back, only to recoil in disgust]
Just get it over with. Wait a minute. Do me a favor, don't chew me. I'm not for that.
Lenny I'm not gonna eat you.
Come on! Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.
Lenny Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. [bites the seaweed free]
Ahhh! Back up! [Lenny makes animalistic noises as he fans the sand around him to make a cloud and obscure Frankie's vision]
That's it, Len. There you go, buddy! That's it. Wave those fins, baby! Dig in!
Lenny [snarls]
Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away.
Lenny Now, when I turn around, you take off. Tastes just like chicken. [Turns around acting like he has devoured Oscar] Mmm. Mmm.
[seeing Oscar behind Lenny; facepalming]
Oh, no! [Lenny looks and notice Oscar is still there.] OH!!!
Lenny What did I tell you?!
I'm sorry. I didn't get it. You want me to go now?!
Lenny What are you doing?! Just go!
That's it! I've had enough to here! [snarls. Having enough of Lenny not eating Oscar, Frankie charged right at Oscar to eat him.]
Lenny Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie, wait!
NO!!! Get you boy! Get you boy! EEF! EEV! OH, NO!
Lenny [Before Frankie can eat Oscar, an anchor suddenly drops from a ship above and strikes Frankie on the head before he could bite the fish. Ernie and Bernie turn their heads fast from the distant. Lenny sees Frankie badly injured by a fallen anchor.] [gasps]
Frankie! [bites the chain of the anchor and throws the anchor to the other side]
[weak]
Lenny? [coughs] Lenny, is that you?
Lenny I'm here, Frankie.
Lenny Yes, what is it?
Lenny That's just because we're cold-blooded. [Frankie angrily slaps him] Ow!
[last words; weak]
Moron. [dies]
Lenny Frankie, no.... [gasps, wailing] NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [sobs] This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Frankie! How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop...? [gasps] Oh, no! [tearfully swims away and passes Oscar, who squeaks and lands in front of the now-deceased Frankie]
[finds Frankie dead behind him, thinks he's alive, and starts screaming crazily]
Watch it! Back up! I'm crazy! I be tripping! [makes karate moves and noises until he accidentally kicks Bernie]
Ow! What the...?! [Oscar, Ernie, and Bernie start screaming loudly; Oscar hides behind the dead Frankie, protesting]
Don't hurt us! We're sorry! It was all Ernie's idea! [Ernie nods, then looks at Bernie angrily. Then they were surprised]
Did you kill that shark?!
[looks down at Frankie's body before having an idea]
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly how it looks; that's how it is.
Oh, you... You want to know what happened.
You're standing on top of a shark. Go on, Mon.
Well, I'll tell you what happened. [Cut to the outside of the Whale Wash, as Oscar tells lies to the fish about killing the shark]
Big old shark, about 75, 100 feet long. So, he's swimming at me, right? With teeth like razors.
And I was all like, "You come at me like that? You come at the O like that?"
Hey, do the muscle thing! The muscle thing!
Oh, right, right, right, right. So I told that dude, I said, "You see this guy?" [points at right bicep] And I pointed like this, "Well, he's got a brother, and he lives right over here." [points at left bicep] "And I think it's time for a little..."
OA Oscar and Angie
Family reunion! [Everyone cheers]
You see, mon. I told you.
We were right there. Right here.
Oh. Sorry. Sorry. She seems so nice on TV.
Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: Does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town, the big kahuna?
Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie, right?
Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is going down! [crowd cheering]
Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic.
[shooting the press away]
Get out of here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me.
I'm his manager. Sykes, with a "y".
And I'm his financial advisor. [everyone turns confused to Joe] You want to see my puppets? [raspy voice] Hello.
Could you excuse us for a moment, please? [to Sykes in a hushed tone] My manager?
Kid, you're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune! Just let me handle it.
Forget the 5 Gs. From now on, we're partners.
So what are we talking about here?
I'm thinking 90-10 split.
You're the I'm 10 I take my 90 off the top.
Dude, you're going the wrong way.
OA Oscar and Sykes
50/50.
OA Oscar and Sykes
Deal. [They dap one another up successfully]
My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.
Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the Wash?
Please, I barely work here now. [everyone laughs]
Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em.
Hey, that's good. That's good, I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.
S1 Shark #1
Lenny! Where the heck is he? LENNY!
S2 Shark #2
[he slaps Shark #1]
Hey. What are you doing? There's a sharkslayer out here. You wanna be next?
S1 Shark #1
Oh, yeah. [whispers] Lenny?
Shark #2 [sighs]
S1 Shark #1
[whispers]
Lenny!?
[Oscar's hiding from two sharks sent to find Lenny in some kelp] [to himself]
Phew, that was close.
Lenny [appears behind him]
Super close. [in fear, Oscar looks up to see him above] Don't panic. [Oscar looks down, and is about to screams but his mouth is covered] Quiet, a-bup-bup! We're safe.
Lenny Yeah. [suddenly] AHH WHAT WAS THAT?!
Oh, what is with you, man?!
Lenny Shh! He could be anywhere!
Lenny The Sharkslayer...
[laughs]
There's no Sharkslayer around here.
Lenny Tchee-he-ha-ha. Yes, there is!
[mockingly]
Tchee-he-ha-ha. No, there is not! Trust me on this one.
Lenny [sporadicly]
Get a hold of yourself, man! This is no time to act crazy!
Hey, you're the one acting crazy, crazy!
Lenny [sighs; slaps himself]
You're right. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself since the... the, uh... Don't cry. [cries in anguish]
No, no, it's not all that. Just relax.
Lenny [sorrowfully]
It's my fault...! Kinda... not really... but still. My brother...!
You just need a little time, man. Look, the...things'll work out.
Lenny You think?
Yeah. So, look, I'm gonna take off...And you should just go home, Okay?
Lenny Okay.
Lenny [grabs him]
Wait!
Lenny Uh, I didn't catch your name.
Lenny I'm Lenny, hi!
Lenny Where... where do you live?
[trying to get out of his grip]
Lenny, where I'm from, fish don't like getting grabbed by sharks, okay?
Lenny I'm sorry.
Lenny There is no home for me anymore, don't you understand that?!
[breaking out]
You're too big to be grabbing on me like that!
Lenny Take me home with you!
Lenny You won't even notice I'm there, I'm like the invisible shark! [he covers his eyes then uncovers them as Oscar looks at him increduosly]
[silently but angrily-ish]
ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Lenny [sobs]
Please. I'm begging you. Don't leave me alone.
S1 Shorty #1
Yo! Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em.
S1 Shorty #1
[Oscar looked over to see the shorties.]
Gotcha.
S1 Shorty #1
Check out my mad burner.
S1 Shorty #1
How ya like that?
Hey, y'all kids got some skills.
S1 Shorty #1
It's wild style, dude.
What did I tell you? You kids shouldn't be doing this. And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night.
S1 Shorty #1
It is now, bro-bro. You the Sharkslayer.
Lenny Sharkslayer?
[coughs loudly]
Sometimes I be coughing for nothing. I need you off these streets, seriously. Get your butts home. I'll tell your moms y'all doing bad stuff.
S1 Shorty #1
Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up.
Lenny. Did you see what just happened there?
Lenny I know. [laughing] They think you're the Sharkslayer. As if! [cackles]
I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually.
Lenny No, wait up. Hey. I'm sorry, seriously. I don't want you mad at me, and I certainly don't want you to :[s****] slay me.
You're having a good time? You're enjoying yourself? [Lenny laughs uproariously] Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer; Oscar the Sharkslayerer!, that's what people say.
Lenny [coming to a realization]
Wait. You mean you...?
Lenny When the anchor... [gasps dramatically before smirking] Oh, you're a liar!
What? [scoffs] Please, I didn't lie! [Lenny gives him an "Oh, really?" glare] All right, I lied. But it was a little lie! Come on, who's it gonna hurt anyway? Man, I'm not explaining myself to you. You're on your own.
Lenny No problem. And if, God forbid, someone should, I don't know, find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...
Lenny I would.
Come here. Of course you can come with me. But, you know, you're a shark, right? And I'm a Sharkslayer, so we can't be seen together. You dig, dog?
Lenny Dig. Dog. Dog dig. Dig dog. Yeah, yo diggy dog.
[Both Oscar and Lenny are sneaking through Southside drain unseen] [whispers]
Okay, Lenny. Follow my every move, and don't make a sound.
Lenny [whispers]
You got it. [echoes] Oh an echo. [a little louder] Echooo! Now batting for the Southside Sharks #15-- [Oscar slaps him] Ow! It's not okay to hit!
[# Justin Timberlake & Timbaland: Good Foot] [They get out of the manhole cover and hide once the police dolphin passed. Lenny was told to stay here as Oscar stealthy swims to the Whale Wash warehouse. Oscar tells him to stay quiet once he comes out.]
Get your tail in there.
Lenny Do you think anybody heard that?
Who was that? Who? Hey. Who's out there?
I thought I heard something. Did you get that shark?
That's great. Well, gotta go. My show's on.
[# Theme From The Benny Hill Show] [Crazy Joe laughs]
All right. We're safe. For now.
Lenny Hey, a bed. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's heaven, yeah. Snuggly, buggly, wuggly. I love you, man.
Lenny You're my new best friend.
Stop it. Okay, you wanna be friends? Fine. But we gotta lay down some rules. Rule number one: No snuggly, buggly... Whatever that just was.
Lenny You got it. Anything else?
Rule number two, and this is the most important rule. In the event that possibly you get hungry...
Lenny Don't worry, I won't eat anyone. If you haven't noticed, I'm different from other sharks. Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night.
Lenny You'll laugh.
Lenny That's what you say, and then what happens later? You laugh.
Lenny, I give you my word.
Lenny Okay, I will tell you. I'm... I'm a vegetarian.
[stifles laugh]
Hold up. So that's it?
Lenny What do you mean, that's it? You're the first fish I ever told. I'm tired of keeping it a secret. And my dad, he'll never accept me for who I am. What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, man. I think all sharks should be like you.
Lenny God, that's sweet of you to say.
And stop blaming yourself for what happened.
Lenny Really?
If you wanna blame anybody, blame me. If I hadn't been there in the first place, none of this would've happened.
Lenny Gee, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure.
[chuckles]
"Ice..." What's he, the Godfather or something?
Lenny Yeah.
[still chuckles]
What do you mean "Yeah"?
Lenny Yeah, he is. [Oscar realizes this and gulps in fear as the background spins behind him] Hey. Are you alright? [Then the background drops backwards to the ground, and the shark from Oscar's right gobbles him up. We pull back as it was revealed to be the video games that Ernie and Bernie are playing video games]
X, circle, X, X, double left, square, right trigger down-down, square-square.
Oh, double square! Respect.
[quietly, opens the door, looking around.]
Psst! Lenny? Where are you? [Oscar sneaks back to the storage room]
[suddenly appears at the storage room door]
Hello, Oscar.
[screams; then catches his breath]
Angie! Hey! W-what are you doing here?
[innocently]
What, Oscar, forget something?
Maybe your forgot... [slams the door, revealing Lenny behind it] ...your shark?!
Lenny [sipping the soda]
Hi.
Uh...SHARK! SWIM, ANGIE! I'LL COVER YA! Quick, before it's too late! YOU GO ON WITHOUT ME!
Oh, stop it! Your pet shark told me everything!
[shocked]
Dang, Lenny?! Why would you do that?!
Lenny I don't know! I like her!
[friendly]
Thanks you too. [then furiously to Oscar] WHAT were you THINKING, bringing him here?!
Well...I just… I'm still working out the kinks...
Kinks?! You LIED! Everybody thinks you "slayed the shark!"
Who am I to tell them that they're wrong?
How could you lie to me, Oscar?! ME?!
Don't take it personally! Come on, I lied to EVERYBODY! [Angie glares at him] All right, I totally betrayed you, but but listen, I-I got just one little problem I got to take care of.
SHARKS are COMING to GET ME!!
And they should! I mean, what did you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark and then everything would be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?!
Uh...yeah. But don't worry. Me and Lenny got it, we're gonna fix it...
Lenny Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the "we"? I don't want any part of this!
Hey, too late now, veggie boy. They'll be looking for you, too!
Lenny Point taken. What's the plan?
OSCAR! Here's the plan. You tell the truth. [to Lenny] And you, go home. [Oscar and Lenny both stare at each other and then they both laugh]
All right, look, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna paint you up all bloody. Just a mess, right? Then you gonna swim out and meet the sharks before they get here. And you're gonna say, "Stop. Don't y'all. Don't go no farther! That Sharkslayer's crazy, man!" "He beat me senseless. He's a stone-cold killer, man!" Then you could tell 'em I'm huge. Tell 'em I'm handsome. Throw that in, say I'm buff.
You are going way too far.
Lenny Actually, he hasn't gone far enough.
Lenny You need to slay a shark, and I need to disappear. Here's what we're gonna do...
[on the city, the camera static, starts recording on live with Katie Current]
Katie Current, reporting live. We've had unconfirmed reports of a...
[fish screams, camera knocks out]
Shark! [Lenny hums Theme From Jaws]
Look. It's the Sharkslayer!
[Oscar with cape, but the music stops, he removing the cape and laughs, the music plays, and starts to fight at Lenny, he punches, Lenny falls on the billboard.]
Holy mackerel. Did we get that?
Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV.
Show me that. Go ahead with your bad self.
[Oscar is pretends to battle Lenny in front of the fish city]
Do you hear them, Lenny?! They are going crazy, man! They love us!
Lenny They love you. They hate me!
Lenny Can we switch sides? Maybe I can be the Fishslayer! They'll never see it coming!
Come on, man! Look. You sell this, you'll never have to go home again! You could start a new life! [Lenny nods his head understandingly] Now gimme a growl!
Lenny Okay. [purrs; he then clears his throat and roars loudly in Oscar's face] Like that?
That was... pretty good! Let's ho.
This reef is huge. How we supposed to find the Sharkslayer? [the sharks hearing Lenny screams.]
[Oscar seeing Luca with the Sharks, he grabbing the Lenny's tail]
This is it, Lenny. Big finish. Just like we practiced.
Lenny The flying fish?
[he grabbing in heavily at Lenny]
A little help here, buddy boy.
Lenny Sorry.
Thank you. [Lenny standing up, but Oscar starts spinning around, and throws at the TV screen on the building, screams in slow motion, falling down.]
Lenny CURSE YOU, SHARKSLAYEEEERER!!! [Lenny falls in the mist, screams then banging the pipe door and Lenny snorts, makes crashing sound] Ow!
D Don
[off-screen]
Oscar, you fool! You Lenny defeat and gonna get you!
NO, I'M NOT FOOL!!!! Yeah. And you tells Don LAME-O's it be dangerous that I don't never, ever, ever, ever, OR NEVER *AGAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN* AND I DO YOU WANT TO SEE ANOTHER SHARKS IN THIS REEF AGAIN!!! EVERS! [they swim away in fears] Remember this name: OSCAR THE SHARKSLAYER! [The crowd cheers]
You see? You see? [crowd chants, Lenny swims through the pipe.] Oscar! Oscar!
C Crowd
# Oscar, boom bye-ay # Oscar, boom bye-ay
Look at Oscar. # Oscar, boom bye-ay #Oscar, boom bye-ay Woo! Hey... Lola. [Lola kissing Oscar.]
Seems The Sharkslayer not only conquered a few sharks today, but maybe a few hearts? Has the reef's most eligible bachelor been snapped up? I'm Katie Current, here live, watching the Sharkslayer makin' out.
Lenny [back in the Whale wash warehouse, Angie reading the newspaper, the word saying: "Who stole our hero's Heart?"]
Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue 1? Thank you.
[opens the door]
Look who stepped in the room! [laughs]
Lenny [laughs]
Yeah!
Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby. Give me that, give me some fin.
Lenny High fin. Low fin.
Yo, did you see me? I was like... [makes kung fu noises] I was crazy.
Lenny When you punched me, and the crowd was...
Yeah, they ate it up. You didn't know I had it in me, did you? It was like an Oscar-splosion.
Lenny How good was I?
Lenny Thank you. Thank you. And hey, hey, hey, Casanova! I saw your big finish on the news. Nice smooch, lover boy. [winks at Oscar]
lxnay on the iskay, man. That's private. [After Angie sees Oscar kissing Lola]
PRIVATE?! The entire reef saw you do it!
Hey, whoa. Somebody's in a bad mood. Come on, Ang, lemme see that smile. Show me the smile, baby—
Eh... What has gotten into you?
ME?! Oh, I swear, sometimes, I wanna take your big, dumb, dummy head and just... [punches her hand] Nnnyyyahh!!!
Ang, Ang, what is the problem?
Problem?! There's no problem! I don't have any problem! Miss Perfect is the one with the problem!
Lenny Um, hey, you guys.
What you got against Lola?
Not my lips. That's for sure.
Lenny Uh, I'm gonna stay out of this one.
Look, why would you even care about Lola anyway?
Lenny Hey guys, you wanna get...
OA Oscar and Angie
NOOOOO!!!
Just tell me, Oscar, 'cause I'm curious - why do you think she's interested, huh? Do you think for one minute that she would even be with you if you weren't the rich and famous Sharkslayer?
Lenny Oh, you guys, please don't fight.
At least she treats me like I'm somebody!
Yeah, but would she love you if you were nobody?!
[angrily]
NOBODY LOVED ME WHEN I WAS NOBODY!!!
[emotional]
I DID!!! [Oscar is stunned; sadly swims her back on him] Before the money... and before the fame. [turns back to Oscar] Before the lie. To me, you were somebody, Oscar. Now you're nothing but a fake. A sham. A con. You're a joke. [Oscar felt hurt at Angie's words, Angie looked down]
Lenny Here I come... [pops out from behind the curtains] Tah-dah! [singsong] Sebastian the Whale-Washing Dolphin! [mimics dolphin clicks, but looks at them when calming down]
No, forget it! Just go! 'Cause I'm tired of hearing how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough. Including me. [Oscar then sadly swims away]
Lenny Angie?
Oh, honey, I'm...I'm sorry. Go...Go back and do it again.
Lenny Hey, come on. [wipes her tears away] It'll be okay.
[Music plays "Get it Together" by India Arie. Oscar leaves in whale wash warehouse, heartbreaks, swimming in the city, looking at the TV screen as Oscar holding at Lenny's mouth.]
You can't handle the truth. You've got Shark Breath. [Oscar on TV screen eating the mint, word saying with ding sounds: " 'O' mints, on the next one, drinking the soda bottle, "Coral Cola" choir singing "Get Real", the fish kids playing the bubbles.]
What you kids doing? How many times I have to tell you? It's past your bedtime. Go on.
[Shortie #3 spaying with can at her shell]
Hey. What are you kids up to? That looks pretty good. You guys should do this for a living. [back in Oscar's Apartment, going outside, Oscar saw the whale.]
Preparation "O". It slays hemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks. Hey, Oscar. Preparation O.
Angie was right. I am a joke.
Hey, Sharkslayer. Why are you out here? All your friends are inside.
You mean that little bottom feeder from the Whale Wash? Forget about her. She's a nobody.
[laughs]
Oh, let me guess. She told you that she loves you. Is that it? [laughs] It's not like you feel the same way about her. [laughs]
[realizing he loves Angie more than Lola]
You know what, I don't think this is gonna work out.
[chuckles, but then stops]
Wait. Are you dumping me? [Oscar sadly nods, but gasps as she gives him a livid glare] Let me explain something to you. [Cut to inside]
[dances with a fish girl]
We're gonna party like it's your birthday... [they suddenly hear a thudding sound and see Lola whacking Oscar against the windows with a thunk] Ha! Young love. [he and the other partygoers laugh. Lola angrily slams Oscar one more time and sulks away. Oscar slowly slides down, his saliva leaves an impression of a heart implanted on the window. The Four Tops: "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)"]
Lenny Hey, Oscar!
Hey, I can't talk. I gotta find Angie. I need to tell her... I love her!
M Man
[singing]
You come and you go...
[At the dining table room with all the sharks, Lenny disguised as dolphin and Oscar, gulps in nervous, Sykes breathing in nervous, Oscar clear throat, he trying to get the mug on the plate, hammerhead gasps in shocked, he turns around at the killer whales, he growls with the crawls, but the one orca faints on the floor.]
Will you stop screwing around? This'll never work. We're dead. We're dead!
Thank you, Sykes. Thank you. My man Sykes just begged me not to murder-lise all y'all up in here, all right. Now, I might listen to him, but then again I might not. And that depends on the individual behavior of all the individuals in here, individually. Ain't that right?
H1 Hammerhead #1
Look, he's got dolphin muscle.
H2 Hammerhead #2
My uncle Vito got whacked by one of those.
All right. Now which one of you sardines called this meeting?
[enters]
That would be me. So, this is the Sharkslayer. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I feel like we're practically family. You know that? Funny, ain't it? I brought my kids into the world, full of love and care, and you took them out. You know who I am? Do you know who I am? I'm the Don. The boss of the Great White Sharks.
Hey, Boss, I saved you a seat.
I've been running this reef since before you was born. And if you thought a guy like me can't get to a guy like you... Guess what? You thought wrong. [He lifted up the cover to reveal the gagged Angie.]
Pfft! Man, you the one who's wrong. I barely even know that girl. What's your name, miss?
Oh, yeah? Well, I say he's bluffing.
Marone, if I wasn't married.
How ya doing, pretty lady?
You know, Sharkslayer, there's only one thing I like better than money. Revenge.
Your sharkslaying days are over. And there ain't nothing you can do about it. [Oscar laughs. Lenny and Sykes laugh]
You got nothing. Nothing! Sebastian, take her out. [As commanded, Lenny swoops down and "eats" Angie. Oscar hums U Can't Touch This]
Can't touch this.
Can't touch this.
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh Stop. Oscar time. [After Lenny "eats" Angie] Okay, new rules. Nobody, I repeat, nobody, makes a move without my OK. I am the Panama Canal, baby. From now on, everything [places a spoon on Giuseppe's nose] flows through me.
G Giuseppe
Heh?! What'd he do?! What'd he do?! I can't see it!
You don't lose a tooth, you don't grow one back without my okay, okay?
[nervously]
Okay. [The swordfish sneezes, stuck to the table]
If you sneeze, you don't wipe that boogie without my okay, okay?
And you don't say "okay" without my okay! Okay?! [one of the orcas faints, Lenny starts gagging]
Uh-Oh. Okay, thank you all for coming. We gotta go.
Oh, and one more thing. What is with all y'all living in the Love Boat?
Y'all are supposed to be the mob. Get yourselves a real hideout.
Lenny [gagging]
Oscar?
[to Lino]
And take a good look, Lino. It's over. You're old school...!
SA Sykes and Lenny
Oscar!
What?! [Lenny makes a last gag and retches out Angie, a violin, a sidewalk sweeper, a radio box and a Louisiana's car license plate]
Lenny The horror! THE HORROR! [one of the sharks eats the Louisiana's license plate; retches out a beach ball]
[chuckles]
Um, excuse me. [swims over to Angie] Ang, are you okay?
No, I am not okay! He ate me!
Lenny I couldn't take it. The taste was killin' me!
[sees Lenny]
Lenny? Is that you? You're alive? [hugs Lenny] I thought I lost you. [noticed his disguise] What are you wearing? Huh? What is that? [Dejected, Lenny takes off his black and yellow scarf, then scrubs his nose with his sponge and takes off the red rubber band. The sharks gasps in assortment]
Hey, Boss, it's Lenny, he was wearing a disguise so we couldn’t recognize him, but now he's not wearing a disguise, so we do recognizing him.
Lenny [still dejected]
Hi, Pop...
[upset; Lenny turns blue]
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me, are you out of your mind?! Do you have any idea how this looks?!
G Giuseppe
[whispers to another shark]
This is the best sit down I ever been to.
What are you doing with this guy?! He took out your own flesh and blood, Frankie!
Lenny But Pop, just listen...
But nothing! You never take sides against the family! Ever?!
Hey, Don Lino, sir. Listen, it's not his fault. This is between you and me.
What did I ever do to YOU?! You took Frankie away, and you turned Lenny into a dolphin! [turns furiously] I'M GONNA GET YOU! [Oscar shrieks, Don Lino starts chasing him]
Lenny Oscar, swim! [opens the door] Swim for your life! [Don Lino gets wedged in a porthole while chasing Oscar]
[calling after Oscar]
You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer!
[appears in another porthole]
Well, well, well...look who's stuck in the porthole.
You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends! [A bunch of shrimps appear and attack Lino]
Hello, Sykes' Whale Wash; And the price... [sees Don Lino chasing Oscar; alarmed] OH MY GOSH!
All right. [not knowing] Hey, you got it right! [suddenly sees Don Lino also. They swim away in fear]
Okay, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble. Today.
[Oscar pops the bubble, dreeing Angie.]
Angie...
The Sharkslayer does it again. This time, luring two sharks into his death-trap of hygiene.
[Oscar is being surrounded by the crowd cheering.]
Oscar, you're the somebody everybody wants to be. The top of the food chain. Tell our cameras how it feels to be you.
Lenny Oscar, get me outta here, quick. I need a head start to get as far away as possible.
Look what you did to him.
It's a big misunderstanding. If you just--
Sharkslayer. Over here! One more question sharkslayer.
C Crowd
[chanting]
Sharkslayer. [in slow motion] Sharkslayer.
[The crowd is cheering for Oscar for trapping Lino and Lenny in the Whale Wash machines] [finally had it enough]
STOP! I AM NOT A REAL SHARKSLAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRER!!!! [the crowd stops cheering and stares in disbelief, and Angie stops to look back] I lied.
[tearfully]
And I'm not a real financial adviser!
[awkwardly]
Okay... [to Don Lino] It was an anchor that killed Frankie. I didn't have anything to do with it, and neither did Lenny.
[to Lenny]
Well then... If that was true, why did you run away?
Lenny Because you always wanted me to be like Frankie. I'll never be the shark you want me to be.
[to Don Lino]
What is your problem?! So your son likes kelp, so his best friend is a fish, so he likes to dress like a dolphin! So what?! Everybody loves him, just the way he is. Why can't you? Don't make the same mistake that I did. I didn't know what I had...until I lost it.
[Unnoticed by him, Angie looks moved in the background] [close to tears]
Can you get me outta this, so I can hug my kid, and tell him I'm sorry?
Lenny [smiles tearfully]
Pop.
[Oscar frees Lino and Lenny from the Whale Wash machines]
Come here, you. [hugs Lenny] I love you, son. No matter what you eat, or how you dress.
[sees her]
Angie? Oh, Angie. I wish I knew now what I knew then. I mean...I wish you knew...what I knew...before this...
Mind your business, all right?! It's emotional...and it's pressure! [turns back to Angie] What I'm saying is...I didn't need the Top of the Reef. Everything I ever wanted...was right in front of me the whole time.
But what about being a somebody?
I'm a nobody without you. [Angie smiles. Crazy Joe pulls out his puppets making kissing noises] [awkwardly: to Joe] You're not helping. [chuckles]
Oh. Come here, you big dumb, dummy head! [kisses Oscar]
I never told you two this, but you're the best henchmen a guy ever had. Come on, group hug.
Sorry, man. Come, Sykes, try again, mon. Don't fret.
Forget it. The moment's gone.
So, uh, Lino... Uh, Don... We cool, right? I mean, like the reef is safe? Walk the streets, you know, without... aaah! You know.
[cheering]
Oscar. Excuse me. You've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve. Tell me, what's next for you?
Come on, everyone's waiting, Mr. Manager.
All right, I just gotta put the finishing touch on my new desk. Love ya, Pop.
All right, partner, let's see what you can do.
Sykes and Oscar's Whale Wash is now open for business.
[crowd cheering] [Christina Aguilera and Missy Elliott: "Car Wash"]
Yo, E, B. Let's get this party bumping.
Yo, yo. It's E and B on the wheels of steel.
Yo, Christina. Missy. How about we have a little Oscar-licious fun? Don't try this at home. Warm it up. I be warming it up. Okay, Jimbo, let it go!
Lenny Hey, Angie, sorry Pop and I are late, but we brought some new customers.
Lenny OK, guys, come on in.
Come on, snap your fin. Snap it. You're not snapping it.
I'm snapping it, I'm snapping it!
That's okay, a lot of great whites can't do it, yo.
Yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo-yo...
[threatening]
Hey, you say "Yo" one more time, and I'm gonna yo you!
OK, dude, I pimped your hide.
O Orca
Hey. You think this is funny? What am I, a clown to you?
Keep up with me. Don't let me lose ya. You know I'll lose ya.
Lenny In your face.
Lenny You don't want none of this.
You gotta be kidding. Break it down, fellas. You got served.
