What do you mean you don't understand? What's there to understand. We've been over this 1,000 times. I don't want to have to say it again. You know, you're really giving me agita, you know that. I don't know what else to say this. Lenny, you see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. Thanks. That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you? Your brother, Frankie, here, he's a killer.
Frankie Thanks, Pop.
He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. Wipe your face, but you... I'm hearin' things. You gotta understand when you look weak, it makes me look weak.
Lenny. Lenny. Look at me. Look at me. This handin' over the business is for both of us and you're acting like you don't even want it. I need to know you can handle that. [sighs] [splutters] Alright, alright. Right here in front of me now, eat this.
[whimpers]
Gee, thanks, Pop. Here's the thing. I'm on a diet. And I read an article about these shrimps, they're not good for ya. I tell you. You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps? A lot.
It's true. It's true and the other thing is, my sister had a baby and I took it over because she passed away, and then the baby lost its legs, and its arms and he doesn't put a stump, but I still take care of it with my wife and it's growing and it's fairly happy, but it's difficult 'cause I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table, but all the love and I see that little guy's face makes worth it in the end. True story.
[sighs]
I'm not askin' you anymore. I'm tellin' you. Eat it!
Son, eat the shrimp! Please!
Put the shrimp down! [Lenny grabs the shrimp and lets it go.] Go now. No one's looking. Get out of here. You're free now, go on. Go. Go.
You're a good person. [glares at Lino, then gestures to some other shrimp] Come on, fellas.
Frankie Pop, I can handle the reef. It's not a problem.
No. No. We're gonna do this as a family. Frankie, I want you to take Lenny out, and show him the ropes.
Frankie Oh, come on, Pop.
Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark. Whether you like it or not.
[A dark ship. The camera fades in, showing Don Lino feeding his fish] [to his fish]
How are my babies this morning? You miss me? You doing good? Huh? Huh? [To Sykes] You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world, [he drops a food pellet into the tank] you either take, or you get taken. [The fish sprout razor teeth and devour the pellet as Lino closes the tank's lid]
[hastily]
Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? That all? We done?
Now, you and me, we worked together a long, long, long time.
Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been like work.
Let me finish. That I've lived my life for my sons. Raising and protecting them...
You're the best! He's the best, right? Am I right or am I wrong? Am I right?
It's all been to prepare...
Yeah. It's all right. ...for the day they run the reef. Well, today is that day. [pauses; The record player gets stuck] Luca.
[moves the needle; the record player plays "Baby Got Back" by Six Mix-a-Lot; Luca quickly moves the needle again and it cuts off]
Hey, Boss, big butts! [chuckles]
[facepalming]
Oy vey. Long story short, from now on yous work for Frankie and Lenny. Capiche?
[laughs a bit]
Lenny? Frankie, I understand, but Lenny? You can't be serious.
I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things. Now Lenny, he's got the brains. That's something special.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. I'm just saying...
Hey, I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what, and what?
"What, what" nothing. You said "what" first.
I didn't say what first. I asked you what.
No, you said "And then what?", and I said "What?"
[confused]
No, I said "what what", like what, what?! [brief pauses]
[breakling paused]
You said "what" first.
[annoyed]
Now you're makin' fun of me?!
[hastily]
No, no, no, no, you misunderstood! [His sons arrived]
Frankie Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident. He was born.
[sarcastic laughter]
You're a comic genius.
Look, all I'm saying is the kid ain't exactly no killer.
My Lenny is a killer! Ya hear me? A cold-blooded killer! Look at him! [Lino and Sykes both notice Lenny obliviously spinning around on his chair; Frankie shakes his head]
[paused; moreness annoyedling]
That's it. That's IT! You are OUT!
[shocked]
What?! [inflates; high pitched] Whaddya mean I'm "out"?!
You're fired! [pushes Sykes; Sykes screams and lands on a picture across the room] And on top of that, you're gonna have to start paying me!
[ominously]
So nothing happens to that little Whale Wash of yours. [Cut to the Oscar and workers at the Whale Wash]
[while shoveled the slime off the whale's tongue]
Welcome to Oscar's crib. 60 foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swim-in cavities and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little… [exasperated] old school!
Ah, stop your moaning, Oscar! It could be a lot worse, you know?
Yeah, that's true. I could have this job, and look like you! [laughs; sudden rumbling] Indigestion... SHE'S GONNA BLOW! [Workers start scattering]
K Knuckles
Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there. [Headphone Guy is cleaning the whale, oblivious to the rumbling]
[yelling]
I GOT YOU, HEADPHONE GUY! [he and Headphone Guy brace themselves on the whale's uvula. The scrubbers peak when...the whale let us out a small belch, sending some slime onto Oscar. The workers laughs]
[groans as he rubs the slime off him]
Still think it could be worse?
Yeah! I could look like you!
Haha! Ya'll funny. Well, see if you laugh at THIS! [throws slimeball at Pontrelli, who ducks with a laughs, and it hits in splat instructor Johnson, causing him to stagger around and accidentally hits a button that sprays soap in the whale's eye, causing the whale to screams in pain and anogy]
SOAP IN THE EYE, SOAP IN THE EYE! [Flips the emergency; the grabbers grab the screams whale very tightly; quickly cleans the whale's eye] It's alright. I'ma get you some nice coupons, we gonna get you a free hot wax and all you like that? Alright, go ahead, Big Baby.
Alright. [gets slapped on the back by Ernie and shocked, causing the bucket to land on his head]
Well, look who it is, Bernie.
Just the fish we're looking for.
Yeah. [Oscar struggles to remove the bucket]
The boss be needing to see you right now.
[getting the bucket off]
Ernie, Bernie, my jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka. Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all... Huh? What'd you say, Ang? Okay. Fellas, I'm gonna go ahead over there. [singing] But don't worry [beatboxes] About a thing 'Cause every little thing [Bernie and Ernie shakes the head no] Is gonna be all right... [gets slapped again]
That's not the way you sing that song, one. [Cut into the Oscar is tossed into Sykes' office and rolls into his desk]
Hey, Sykes! My brother from another mother. What the deezy, baby? [Oscar tries dapping Sykes up, who sighs annoyed at his antics] Show me dat. What's going down? Hey, baby, this is all gravy today. Now snap your fin... Snap it. You're not snapping it...
[pulls his hand back]
Oscar!
Hey, don't sweat it. A lot of white fish can't do it.
Oscar, would you just sit down, okay?
[Ernie and Bernie force him into a chair]
Thank you.
I've been going over my markers. You're into me for five grand. 5 G's, okay?
5 Gs? Man, you tripping, 5 Gs.
Oh, yeah? See if [throws unpaid loan documents at Oscar] this refreshes your memory.
[As he picks them back up into a pile and places them on Sykes' desk]
That's crazy, look at that. You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget. This a perfect example of why you're in management, and I'm not. You go, boy.
Look, I have to start paying Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him!
Simple - the food chain! [pulls out chart] You see, on top there's Don Lino, there's me, and there's regular fish.
No. There's plankton, there's single-celled amoebas.
I'm getting there, I'm getting there. There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poo, and then there's you.
So if Don Lino's squeezing me... he's squeezing you!
What? [the chart suddenly pulls up, catching Sykes in the chin]
Easy, boss. Find a happy place.
There is no happy place with him around! [agitated he puffs up; higher pitched] I'm SERIOUS!
AH! All right, look! Just give me another chance-! I-I'm begging you, Sykes please! Please!
[high-pitched]
All right. [deflates; normally] Because I "like" you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.
All of it? How am I supposed to do that?
That's your problem. Bring me 5,000 clams to the racetrack tomorrow, or else.
The boys will explain. [exits his office]
[Ernie and Bernie approach Oscar while grinning and laughing in a threatening manner; cut to black as they sting him as a warning] [off-screen and strained]
Unpleasant.
[Frankie and Lenny are swimming out of Lino's shipwreck]
Frankie, you know I can't do this.
Frankie Lenny, if you want to make Pop happy, you've got to kill something.
Or, I could find an old, sick fish and just wait.
Frankie It's getting around, the other day at the restaurant, you know how fish talk. Biddi-bip, biddi-bop, this-that, the other, then how you doing? Boom! Forget about it, ya dead.
Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise-guy, so you're gonna have to be specific.
Frankie Oh specific? You want specific? [smacks him] Be a shark for once in your life!
Ow! [downhearted] Oh, what am I going to do?
Frankie [apologetically]
Oh, Lenny, forget it about, okay, look, we do a couple practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on, capisce?
Frankie [noticing Oscar's anchoring]
Wait, wait... Whoa. Bingo. Right there, dead ahead. You see it? TV Dinner. [the two hunker on the outer border of the divot] Don't get easier than this.
All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this! What if I can't do this?
Frankie Then don't bother coming home.
Good point! All right. [swims to the bottom of the wasteland]
Hit him in the tail again. I like the funny face he make.
[noticing Lenny's approach]
Ernie!
BLOW OUT! [they swim away in panic]
[Manages to get an arm free and removes his gag]
Uh... Guys? Guys, don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here!
[he is near, Oscar notices him and screams]
Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm not gonna…
Frankie Lenny.
Frankie Like this. [makes animalistic chews motions and sounds, Lenny licks Oscar's back, only to recoil in disgust]
Just get it over with. Wait a minute. Do me a favor, don't chew me. I'm not for that.
Come on! Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.
Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. [bites the seaweed free]
Ahhh! Back up! [Lenny makes animalistic noises as he fans the sand around him to make a cloud and obscure Frankie's vision]
Frankie That's it, Len. There you go, buddy! That's it. Wave those fins, baby! Dig in!
[snarls]
Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away.
Now, when I turn around, you take off. Tastes just like chicken. [Turns around acting like he has devoured Oscar] Mmm. Mmm.
Frankie [seeing Oscar behind Lenny; facepalming]
Oh, no! [Lenny looks and notice Oscar is still there.] OH!!!
I'm sorry. I didn't get it. You want me to go now?!
What are you doing?! Just go!
Frankie That's it! I've had enough to here! [snarls. Having enough of Lenny not eating Oscar, Frankie charged right at Oscar to eat him.]
Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie, wait!
NO!!! Get you boy! Get you boy! EEF! EEV! OH, NO!
[Before Frankie can eat Oscar, an anchor suddenly drops from a ship above and strikes Frankie on the head before he could bite the fish. Ernie and Bernie turn their heads fast from the distant. Lenny sees Frankie badly injured by a fallen anchor.] [gasps]
Frankie! [bites the chain of the anchor and throws the anchor to the other side]
Frankie [weak]
Lenny? [coughs] Lenny, is that you?
Frankie Come closer.
Frankie I'm so cold...
That's just because we're cold-blooded. [Frankie angrily slaps him] Ow!
Frankie [last words; weak]
Moron. [dies]
Frankie, no.... [gasps, wailing] NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [sobs] This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Frankie! How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop...? [gasps] Oh, no! [tearfully swims away and passes Oscar, who squeaks and lands in front of the now-deceased Frankie]
[finds Frankie dead behind him, thinks he's alive, and starts screaming crazily]
Watch it! Back up! I'm crazy! I be tripping! [makes karate moves and noises until he accidentally kicks Bernie]
Ow! What the...?! [Oscar, Ernie, and Bernie start screaming loudly; Oscar hides behind the dead Frankie, protesting]
Don't hurt us! We're sorry! It was all Ernie's idea! [Ernie nods, then looks at Bernie angrily. Then they were surprised]
Did you kill that shark?!
[looks down at Frankie's body before having an idea]
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly how it looks; that's how it is.
Oh, you... You want to know what happened.
You're standing on top of a shark. Go on, Mon.
Well, I'll tell you what happened. [Cut to the outside of the Whale Wash, as Oscar tells lies to the fish about killing the shark]
Big old shark, about 75, 100 feet long. So, he's swimming at me, right? With teeth like razors.
And I was all like, "You come at me like that? You come at the O like that?"
Hey, do the muscle thing! The muscle thing!
Oh, right, right, right, right. So I told that dude, I said, "You see this guy?" [points at right bicep] And I pointed like this, "Well, he's got a brother, and he lives right over here." [points at left bicep] "And I think it's time for a little..."
OA Oscar and Angie
Family reunion! [Everyone cheers]
You see, mon. I told you.
We were right there. Right here.
Oh. Sorry. Sorry. She seems so nice on TV.
Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: Does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town, the big kahuna?
Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie, right?
Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is going down! [crowd cheering]
Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic.
[shooting the press away]
Get out of here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me.
I'm his manager. Sykes, with a "y".
And I'm his financial advisor. [everyone turns confused to Joe] You want to see my puppets? [raspy voice] Hello.
Could you excuse us for a moment, please? [to Sykes in a hushed tone] My manager?
Kid, you're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune! Just let me handle it.
Forget the 5 Gs. From now on, we're partners.
So what are we talking about here?
I'm thinking 90-10 split.
You're the I'm 10 I take my 90 off the top.
Dude, you're going the wrong way.
OA Oscar and Sykes
50/50.
OA Oscar and Sykes
Deal. [They dap one another up successfully]
My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.
Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the Wash?
Please, I barely work here now. [everyone laughs]
Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em.
Hey, that's good. That's good, I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.
