Hi, I'm Oscar. You might think you know, but you have no idea. [rap music] Welcome to my crib. The good life, the way the other half lives. Check it out, I got my 60" inch high-def, flatscreen TV with 6-speaker surround-sound, CD, DVD, PlayStation hook-up, and an 8-track player for days when you're feeling just a little... [beatbox] old school. [laughs] 'Cause even a superstar Mack daddy fish like me has to have the necessities.
S1 Shorty #1
[appears]
Yeah, like money! [Camera zooms out to show Oscar standing in front of billboard ad]
Come on, Shorties, why you messing with my fantasy?
S1 Shorty #1
'Cause you're so broke, your baloney has no first name.
Hey, Oscar. Over here. I gotta talk to ya.
Be right there. Hang onto these.
S3 Shorty #3
Oscar, you da fish.
Now that you live in a great penthouse, can I be your financial advisor?
That's a billboard, Crazy Joe.
You live in a billboard? And they call me crazy! [laughs insanely while floating away with an umbrella]
S1 Shorty #1
Hey, Oscar! Look who came to visit!
[turns around and freaks out]
YAAH!!! [They shorties spray-painted the billboard with a pic of Oscar being devoured by a shark bursting through the penthouse floor]
S Shorties
[laughing]
Gotcha!
No, don't do that! Shouldn't you kids be in school?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Right back at me, eh? Little smart mouth? Now I'm on my way and y'all stay outta trouble. [turns back to the graffiti] And clean that stuff up!
S3 Shorty #3
See ya! [The Shorties clean the graffiti]
[Frankie and Lenny are swimming out of Lino's shipwreck]
Frankie, you know I can't do this.
Lenny, if you want to make Pop happy, you've got to kill something.
Or, I could find an old, sick fish and just wait.
It's getting around, the other day at the restaurant, you know how fish talk. Biddi-bip, biddi-bop, this-that, the other, then how you doing? Boom! Forget about it, ya dead.
Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise-guy, so you're gonna have to be specific.
Oh specific? You want specific? [smacks him] Be a shark for once in your life!
Ow! [downhearted] Oh, what am I going to do?
[apologetically]
Oh, Lenny, forget it about, okay, look, we do a couple practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on, capisce?
[noticing Oscar's anchoring]
Wait, wait... Whoa. Bingo. Right there, dead ahead. You see it? TV Dinner. [the two hunker on the outer border of the divot] Don't get easier than this.
All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this! What if I can't do this?
Then don't bother coming home.
Good point! All right. [swims to the bottom of the wasteland]
Hit him in the tail again. I like the funny face he make.
[noticing Lenny's approach]
Ernie!
BLOW OUT! [they swim away in panic]
[Manages to get an arm free and removes his gag]
Uh... Guys? Guys, don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here!
[he is near, Oscar notices him and screams]
Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm not gonna…
Like this. [makes animalistic chews motions and sounds, Lenny licks Oscar's back, only to recoil in disgust]
Just get it over with. Wait a minute. Do me a favor, don't chew me. I'm not for that.
Come on! Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.
Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. [bites the seaweed free]
Ahhh! Back up! [Lenny makes animalistic noises as he fans the sand around him to make a cloud and obscure Frankie's vision]
That's it, Len. There you go, buddy! That's it. Wave those fins, baby! Dig in!
[snarls]
Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away.
Now, when I turn around, you take off. Tastes just like chicken. [Turns around acting like he has devoured Oscar] Mmm. Mmm.
[seeing Oscar behind Lenny; facepalming]
Oh, no! [Lenny looks and notice Oscar is still there.] OH!!!
I'm sorry. I didn't get it. You want me to go now?!
What are you doing?! Just go!
That's it! I've had enough to here! [snarls. Having enough of Lenny not eating Oscar, Frankie charged right at Oscar to eat him.]
Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie, wait!
NO!!! Get you boy! Get you boy! EEF! EEV! OH, NO!
[Before Frankie can eat Oscar, an anchor suddenly drops from a ship above and strikes Frankie on the head before he could bite the fish. Ernie and Bernie turn their heads fast from the distant. Lenny sees Frankie badly injured by a fallen anchor.] [gasps]
Frankie! [bites the chain of the anchor and throws the anchor to the other side]
[weak]
Lenny? [coughs] Lenny, is that you?
That's just because we're cold-blooded. [Frankie angrily slaps him] Ow!
[last words; weak]
Moron. [dies]
Frankie, no.... [gasps, wailing] NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [sobs] This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Frankie! How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop...? [gasps] Oh, no! [tearfully swims away and passes Oscar, who squeaks and lands in front of the now-deceased Frankie]
[finds Frankie dead behind him, thinks he's alive, and starts screaming crazily]
Watch it! Back up! I'm crazy! I be tripping! [makes karate moves and noises until he accidentally kicks Bernie]
Ow! What the...?! [Oscar, Ernie, and Bernie start screaming loudly; Oscar hides behind the dead Frankie, protesting]
Don't hurt us! We're sorry! It was all Ernie's idea! [Ernie nods, then looks at Bernie angrily. Then they were surprised]
Did you kill that shark?!
[looks down at Frankie's body before having an idea]
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly how it looks; that's how it is.
Oh, you... You want to know what happened.
You're standing on top of a shark. Go on, Mon.
Well, I'll tell you what happened. [Cut to the outside of the Whale Wash, as Oscar tells lies to the fish about killing the shark]
Big old shark, about 75, 100 feet long. So, he's swimming at me, right? With teeth like razors.
And I was all like, "You come at me like that? You come at the O like that?"
Hey, do the muscle thing! The muscle thing!
Oh, right, right, right, right. So I told that dude, I said, "You see this guy?" [points at right bicep] And I pointed like this, "Well, he's got a brother, and he lives right over here." [points at left bicep] "And I think it's time for a little..."
OA Oscar and Angie
Family reunion! [Everyone cheers]
You see, mon. I told you.
We were right there. Right here.
Oh. Sorry. Sorry. She seems so nice on TV.
Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: Does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town, the big kahuna?
Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie, right?
Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is going down! [crowd cheering]
Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic.
[shooting the press away]
Get out of here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me.
I'm his manager. Sykes, with a "y".
And I'm his financial advisor. [everyone turns confused to Joe] You want to see my puppets? [raspy voice] Hello.
Could you excuse us for a moment, please? [to Sykes in a hushed tone] My manager?
Kid, you're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune! Just let me handle it.
Forget the 5 Gs. From now on, we're partners.
So what are we talking about here?
I'm thinking 90-10 split.
You're the I'm 10 I take my 90 off the top.
Dude, you're going the wrong way.
OA Oscar and Sykes
50/50.
OA Oscar and Sykes
Deal. [They dap one another up successfully]
My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.
Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the Wash?
Please, I barely work here now. [everyone laughs]
Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em.
Hey, that's good. That's good, I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
S Shorties
Whoa! A sharkslayer.
You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.
[sobs]
Please. I'm begging you. Don't leave me alone.
S1 Shorty #1
Yo! Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em.
S1 Shorty #1
[Oscar looked over to see the shorties.]
Gotcha.
S1 Shorty #1
Check out my mad burner.
S Shorties
Whoop, there it is.
S1 Shorty #1
How ya like that?
Hey, y'all kids got some skills.
S1 Shorty #1
It's wild style, dude.
What did I tell you? You kids shouldn't be doing this. And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night.
S1 Shorty #1
It is now, bro-bro. You the Sharkslayer.
[coughs loudly]
Sometimes I be coughing for nothing. I need you off these streets, seriously. Get your butts home. I'll tell your moms y'all doing bad stuff.
S1 Shorty #1
Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up.
S Shorties
Yeah. Bye, Oscar.
Lenny. Did you see what just happened there?
I know. [laughing] They think you're the Sharkslayer. As if! [cackles]
I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually.
No, wait up. Hey. I'm sorry, seriously. I don't want you mad at me, and I certainly don't want you to :[s****] slay me.
You're having a good time? You're enjoying yourself? [Lenny laughs uproariously] Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer; Oscar the Sharkslayerer!, that's what people say.
[coming to a realization]
Wait. You mean you...?
When the anchor... [gasps dramatically before smirking] Oh, you're a liar!
What? [scoffs] Please, I didn't lie! [Lenny gives him an "Oh, really?" glare] All right, I lied. But it was a little lie! Come on, who's it gonna hurt anyway? Man, I'm not explaining myself to you. You're on your own.
No problem. And if, God forbid, someone should, I don't know, find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...
Come here. Of course you can come with me. But, you know, you're a shark, right? And I'm a Sharkslayer, so we can't be seen together. You dig, dog?
Dig. Dog. Dog dig. Dig dog. Yeah, yo diggy dog.
