Barry quotes from Sausage Party (2016)

View Quote Frank: [Frank, Carl, Barry and Troy notices that an evil manager named Darren comes to the Sausages and Buns bin] SHIT! It's the Dark Lord!
Carl: Oh no! He's coming!
Old Pork Sausage: No, wait! I'm still fresh, I swear! I'm still FRESH! [Darren takes the Old Pork Sausage and throws it away in the garbage]
Carl: Did he see us?
Frank: No way!
Troy: We're ****, bros!
Barry: Oh God! No! Take anyone, but us! Please! [Darren takes the wrong Fancy Dogs]
Darren: **** you, weenies. [throws a package of screaming sausages into the garbage can; sighs] ****, I hate this **** job!

View Quote [the Druggie has injected bath salts into his bloodstream, making him able to see the food walk and talk]
Druggie: [seeing Barry walk] What the ****?
Barry: Uh... hello?
[they both scream at each other in fright]
Barry: Please don't kill me, please just, just wait!
Druggie: What are you? [pokes Barry] Are you some kind of... magical sausage?
Barry: Uh, yeah, uh, no, oh, no, I'm just Barry, I'm just Barry! Wait! Wait, you can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you?
Druggie: Whoa, the bath salts are showing me the real world. It's **** lifted the veil of non-reality!
Krinkler's Chips: Holy shit! He can actually see us?!
Druggie: The bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be! Oh! I'm tweaked! I'M TWEAKING, AAH!
Barry: Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, just take it easy, dude, just breathe, dude, just breathe. You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man, just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash.
Druggie: I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your... With your gloves and your, your, your little shoes, and your arms, and your legs!
Pizza: Legs, huh?! Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you ****! You ate my goddamn legs!
Druggie: Oh No, not Mr. Pizza! Oh, ****! I've eaten so many of your family members! I've committed pizza genocide! Mr. Sausage, when will it end?!
Beer Can: When will it end? When he stops drinking us!
Krinkler's Chips and Ticklish Licorice: Yeah!
Cookies: And stops eating us!
Sandwich: Same here!
Pop Tart: **** yeah!
Toilet Paper: And when he stops using us!
Krinkler's Chips: What did he do to you?
Toilet Paper: [nervously backs away] You don't wanna **** know.
Druggie: Okay! Okay. Look, I promise. I'll never eat food again, I'll just... so I'll just eat dirt, and wipe my ass with sticks!
Barry: Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do. Take....me....home. [points to the Shopwell's bag]
Druggie: You got it. I just need to rest my eyes for a few...[falls asleep]

View Quote [Barry, Krinkler's Chips, and Toilet Paper tried to figure out how to get back to Shopwell's]
Barry: Shit.
Krinkler's Chips: How the **** does this thing work?
Barry: I wish this god would wake up already. How am I supposed to get back to Frank?
Gum: Perhaps, I could be of some assistance.
Barry: What? Who the hell is that?
Toilet Paper: Oh, only the most intelligent being alive.
Gum: I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency's sake, you can call me... Gum. For 20 years, I was stuck underneath the desk of a brilliant scientist. I was scraped off, and discarded, and eventually, found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here. Your home is a supermarket. This is but one of many as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever-expanding unified by a singular purpose: to store food and products for human consumption. The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here. If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes.
Barry: Great. That last part was all you had to say, really.

View Quote Frank: Nobody's gonna help us.
Brenda: Then, this is it.
Barry: At least we go out together.
[They all grab hands as they're ready to die]
Fat Man: [yells as he gets hit by a ladle thrown by Lavash] OW! What the...?
Lavash: You **** with them...
Sammy Bagel Jr.: You **** with us, bitch! [Lavash keeps throwing ladles at the fat man.] Run, guys! We're out of ladles.
Gum: Hop on, y'all.

View Quote Douche: [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank: Oh, I'm coming at you! [prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche: Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren: It's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche: Look, sausage, I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me! [Relish, Mustard and Ketchup whimper in the corner in sheer terror] Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths. [laughs madly] I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a god's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[Douche eats a chunk out of Frank's torso, making him to scream in pain]
Brenda: Oh, my God! Frank!
Douche: I'll tell you who eats shit! Gods do, bro! I'M A **** GOD!
Darren: [last words before his death] Goodbye, little sausage. [Aims his revolver at Frank, preparing to shoot him]
Brenda: Oh, Frank!
Teresa: Hey, bun. Need a boost?
[Darren tries to shoot Frank]
Frank: Ah, help me!
Gum: Perhaps, I could be of some assistance.
[Gum moves toward Darren as he then shoots at Gum, which blasts a hole in his head and seemingly kills him. The wound then regenerates, similar to the T-1000 from Terminator 2]
Gum: Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you.
[Cut to Barry, who is standing on a makeshift cart that is being powered by propane tanks but is held in place. Barry then gives the signal for two bags of flour to drop down to release the cart from its position and it accelerates towards Darren as Douche and Frank then see it approaching]
Douche: ****! [Frank kicks Douche's eyes with his feet and he jumps]
[Brenda is able to swing him to safety onto the 4th of July sale shelf. Darren sees Barry on the cart that is currently speeding towards him as he fires at Barry, who dodges the bullet, Matrix style. The cart hits Darren, which traps him inside the trash can]
Douche: [last words before his death] What's happening out there?!
Barry: Now! [Various foods set up a bunch of boards in a curved direction to turn the cart onto a designated path]
Coconut Milk: So long, asshole! [The cart then passes by Sammy Bagel Jr. and Kareem Abdul Lavash, who are holding matches to ignite the propane tanks, which causes the cart to then blast off as a couple of food items then set up a ramp, which sends the cart flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonate into fireworks, which kills Darren and Douche, causing blood to drop from the sky. The foods in the store cheer after witnessing the death of Darren and Douche. An eyeball lands in the peanut aisle.]
Peanut: [While holding one of Darren's eyeballs in victory] Yeah!
Barry: It's over. We won. WE **** WON! [laughs triumphantly]
[all the food in the store cheer in triumph]
Tampon: Ew. [as she steps into a drop of Darren's blood, causing her to bulk up due to absorbing a lot of the blood, and roars victoriously]

View Quote Frank: We did it.
Brenda: We did. So... So, what do we do now?
Frank: Whatever we want. [Chuckles] What do you want?
Brenda: Let's just say, what I want involves much more than: [In a singing voice.] just the tips, just the tips, what I want is much more than just the tips... [Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen plays]
Brenda: Oh! Oh, Frank!
[Teresa, Sammy, and Vash watch as Frank and Brenda get it on. Teresa is getting turned on as Sammy struggles on how to view the scene unfolding on front of him]
Sammy: You know, I'm very conflicted about how I'm supposed to feel watching this.
Vash: Then don't just watch. [Pulls Sammy in for a kiss but Sammy pushes away confused]
Sammy: Wait a second. What are you doing?
Vash: I was just told... that I am getting zero bottles of extra-virgin olive oil for eternity!
Brenda: Oh, Frank!
Vash: So, maybe, you know... [It's Your Thing by the The Isley Brothers plays in the background]
Sammy: Kiss me hard on the mouth, why don't you?
Vash: You wanna kiss me, mother****er? Let me tell you a little secret. I'm going to **** the **** out of you.
[Both kiss]
Brenda: Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there! [Both orgasm as Frank finally slides up inside Brenda] Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it. Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.
Frank: Yo. I'm actually over here jerking off with these fellas.
[Brenda turns to see Frank, Vash, and Sammy masturbating in a jerk circle. Brenda then gasps as she sees Teresa spreading open her legs]
Teresa: Once you go taco, you never go "back-o!" [Teresa proceeds to eat out Brenda]
[Brenda screams in pleasure as Frank, Vash, and Sammy furiously masturbate to the both of them going at it. Meanwhile, the Non-Perishables and a group of other food items are witnessing the scene from afar]
Mr. Grits: Jesus **** Christ!
Firewater: Hey, fellas. You thinking what I'm thinking?
Twinks: Pretty **** sure I am. [Grabs Grits' arm and swings him around until Grits is now between Firewater and himself]
Mr Grits: Oh, shit. Now it's on.
[All of the food in the store begin to engage in a full-on orgy.]
Meat Loaf: [Two liquor bottle flash him.] Yeah! [The bottles proceed to jump on him]
Squash: Oh!
Barry: Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?
[Notices Sally Bun (she is smushed) in the distance, knowing that he found his mate.]
Barry: Oh, wow. [Walks over to her.] Yeah, I just came over here. I couldn't help but notice... you're a little smushed or something. You have a kind of abnormality. Did you get...? Somebody sit on you?
Sally: Yeah. I got smushed.
Barry: You know, I love the way your face just kind of gives up halfway down.
[Sally then excitedly pulls Barry into a kiss, then onto the floor.]
Mr. Grits: Yeah, cracker! [Grabs a box of crackers and violently humps it as his revenge against the crackers.] Take that Grit dick, bitch! You like Grits in your ass, cracker?
Gum: [As three female gum strips each give him a lap dance.] Say my name! It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...
Frank: [As Brenda chokes him.] I can't breathe! Stop it!
Sammy: What's the safety word? Molasses. Molasses.
Brenda: [As Frank is pulling a chain from her butt.] Oh, yeah. **** you!
[Teresa ties Frank to the front of her (like a strap-on) and then pushes Frank through the back of Sammy's mouth, then through half of Brenda's body, until ending at Vash's groin; as they all begin thrust while in a daisy chain formation.]
Vash: Yeah. That is all right.
Sammy: [Grabs Vash's testicles and rubs them in his own face] Want me to be the Hamburglar? Robble robble! Robble robble!
Barry: I'm filling you! I'm filling you! I'm blowing my **** load. Good God.
Sammy: Oh.
Frank: [Exclaims]
Brenda: Oh!
Teresa: Oh, ****!
[Sammy then punches Vash in the gut and then suddenly, a quick montage of the orgy is shown and the food reach their final orgasms all together.]
Frank, Brenda, Teresa, Lavash and Sammy: Oooooh!
Lavash: My dick is drained.