So what are you gonna do next?
I'll figure it out. I always do.
Alright. So I'll probably see you around?
Probably not. See you, bub.
Wade Wilson / Deadpool
Ryan Reynolds · 68 quotes
James "Logan" Howlett / Wolverine
Hugh Jackman · 24 quotes
Cassandra Nova
Emma Corrin · 10 quotes
Paradox
Matthew Macfadyen · 6 quotes
Blade
Wesley Snipes · 5 quotes
Gambit
Channing Tatum · 4 quotes
Nicepool
Ryan Reynolds · 4 quotes
Blind Al
Leslie Uggams · 3 quotes
Pyro
Aaron Stanford · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Wade Wilson / Deadpool & James "Logan" Howlett / Wolverine (15), Wade Wilson / Deadpool & Paradox (5), Wade Wilson / Deadpool & Nicepool (4)
Deadpool & Wolverine quotes
Page 4 of 7Where do I sign?
Oh, there's no need for paperwork.
Good! Not to brag, but I do not read.
Did you say you made an educated **** wish?
They call me "the Merc with the Mouth". They don't call me "Truthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon". [Wolverine yanks his claws out of Deadpool's thigh]
One more word. Please, give me one.
Gubernatorial. [Wolverine raises his fist, causing Deadpool to flinch]
You know what? You're a **** joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you or the X-Men, and they'll take **** anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life and that says a lot 'cause I've been alive for more than two hundred **** years, and I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing: You will never save the world! You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! And mother****er, I wish I could say you'd die alone, but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, EXCEPT THAT'S ON ALL OF US! [Deadpool looks down, silently enraged] Oh, you got nothin' to say, Mouth?!
[wheezily chuckles, snorts]
Oh, are you? [Deadpool throws a punch in far more rage, violence, and aggressiveness than before, causing Wolverine's nose to bleed] Oh, you motherf-! [a very, VERY lengthy fight ensues as the two duke it out]
[After the initial Honda Odyssey brawl, they pause]
I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey ****s hard. Too bad you don't, needle dick.[motions for a round two]
[smirking]
Oh, we're just getting started, bub.
[they continue fighting for hours, until they get exhausted and faint]
Whoever it is you think I am, you got the wrong guy.
Laura
You were always the wrong guy. Until you weren't.
(in a post-credit scene; Deadpool is in a TVA control room) (breaking the fourth wall)
I’m tired of these absolutely vile rumors that I got Johnny killed. Let’s look at the tape. [showcases the footage of his and Logan's conversation with Johnny Storm in the Void]
Johnny Storm
In the Void, you're either food for Alioth, or you work for her.
Go on, Johnny.
Johnny Storm
And I'll tell you who "her" is. Cassandra Nova. A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole. A finger-lickin', dead inside pixie slab of third-rate dime store nut milk. And I'll tell you what she can do!
I'm listening.
Johnny Storm
She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. In fact, I don't give a shit if she removes all my skin and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon! If the last thing I do in this god-forsaken, ****-gutter existence is light that ****-box on fire, I still won't die happy.
Holy shit, girl, you crazy!
Johnny Storm
That's right, Wade. I won't be happy until I've urinated on her freshly barbecued corpse and husk-**** the charred remains while gargling Juggernaut's Jugger-nuts.
Wow!
Johnny Storm
And you can quote me.
'kay.
You stupid piece of shit, you just got him ****in' killed!
Hey, we're ALL grieving! P.S., do you know what he was doing to the budget?!
[As Wolverine pulls his cowl down]
Holy shit! You save the good stuff for special occasions?
Killing, mostly.
What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles? Sorry! Just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. Let's do this. Maximum effort.
[Deadpool impaled two Minutemen in their crotches with Wolverine's claws.]
Sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard!
Minuteman
Make it stop!
Mangold tried!
Minuteman Leader
You sick ****! Logan was a hero, and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada!
[Deadpool removes the skeleton's claws out of the crippled Minutemen. Then, he throws his katana in the ground, as it bounces straight to the leader's mouth, killing him]
Get my country's name out of your **** mouth. And my sword. Gimme that.
[SNIKT! Wolverine's claws slowly emerge. Too slowly.]
Oh. Whiskey dick of the claws. It's quite common in Wolverines over forty.
You don't want this.
You're right, I don't. And unless you wanna take a deep breath through your ****in' forehead, I suggest you reconsider. Let's go, peanut.
Get the **** off me.
Shh sh-sh...[grunting] almost done.
Getting my knife out of your buttocks, you [rips baby knife out of Wolverine's thigh] pervert!
[Wolverine pops Dogpool out]
Hold your fire! [The Deadpool Corps stopped] Sweet little puppy.
(in a post-credit scene; breaking the fourth wall)
I’m tired of these absolutely vile rumors that I got Johnny killed. Let’s look at the tape. [showcases the footage of his and Logan's conversation with Johnny Storm in the Void] Gotcha, **** face.
[About Wolverine's mask]
The mask is really intimidating, huh? It's like Batman, except he can move his neck.
[after Cassandra uses her powers on him for the first time]
My brain could taste your fingers and they tasted like hate! And where in God's name is the intimacy coordinator?!
[Discovering Logan's comics-accurate X-Man suit]
Ooh! Look at those jammies. That only took twenty ****in' years!