Most scenes together: Wade Wilson / Deadpool & James "Logan" Howlett / Wolverine (15), Wade Wilson / Deadpool & Paradox (5), Wade Wilson / Deadpool & Nicepool (4)
Look, mijo. I know you're hurting. My blind, elderly African-American roommate Blind Al always says that pain teaches us who we are. Sometimes, we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it.
Holy shit.
Yeah, she's wise.
No, no, no, that's her name? You call her "Blind Al"?
Well, she's blind.
Oh, yes. Yes. Classic John Byrne brown and tan. Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit, no?
I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, and I will not--
[Hulk smashes Deadpool through a fallen tree.]
One anchor being coming right up! On your left, babygirl! This Logan is the same -- he can do anything, even musicals, look! And bonus: He's actually wearing a costume like he's not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once.
I don't understand.
You said my universe is dying because this sack of nuts got himself killed. Well, problem solved.
My God. You think you can actually replace an anchor being? With this?! I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, bee-tee-dubs, but you have outdone yourself and brought me the WORST Wolverine!
What do you mean, the worst one?
Mr. Wilson... this Wolverine let down his entire world. He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. And what he did... Well, some things are just beyond forgiveness.
Were you even listening back there?! We don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole, everyone I ****in' know is gonna die.
Not my ****in' problem.
Oh, is that all you got? Is that what you said when your world went to shit?!
Come again?
Yeah, I heard all about you -- how you screwed up everything? You should be thanking me for pulling me out of that bed you shit in.
Why are you so nice?
Well, it costs nothing to be kind.
Shutting the **** up is also free.
Caliente.
You know, from behind, you look a little bit like Henry... [The Wolverine variant turns to reveal that he's played by Henry Cavill] OH MY ****! The Cavillrine. The legends are true. And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, this just feels right! We will treat you so much better than those shit****s down the street!
You were just leaving.
No, sir! Not while the fate of my universe is at--
[Cavillrine unsheathes his claws by reloading his fists, then Superman punching him through a wall.]
You know, in my world, you're, um... You're well-regarded.
Yeah, well, not in mine.
Yeah, they don't like me much in mine, either.
You don't say?
I wanted to be something, you know? I... Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger.
**** the Avengers.
Yeah. I didn't make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men. Then my girlfriend left me, and I just--
You had a girlfriend?
Yeah! Vanessa. When we met, she was a dancer. We had a whole life. It was good. But oh boy, I just-- mwah. **** that right up. But you? You were an X-Man. **** that, you were the X-Man, you... The Wolverine! He was a hero in my world.
Yeah, well... he ain't shit in mine.
You're gonna Old Yeller my **** universe?
Mmm, in your parlance, yes. Two in the heart, one in the head.
I'm sick of this shit, sick of hiding. Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us.
Or never learned about us.
The heroes we were.
Lives we saved.
Or wanted to save.
Maybe these two are our chance to be remembered the way we deserved.
Yes.
An ending.
Legacy.
I ain't know my daddy, but I'm sure I shot outta his dick ready. [...] Yeah, he was laying them buttery nuts all up in my mama and I shot out there and I said "what's up, doc?"
You know how long I been waitin' for this? Woo, I'm about to make a name for myself here!
The problem might be that you're reaching a little too high. Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss, right? I think you got a good heart. I believe what you're saying. But not everybody's the world-saving type. I'm not, and I'm happy, right? I found my place. Find your place.
You just said, moments ago, that you wanted to be an Avenger because "you need it".
Yes, sir, I do.
But the Avengers don't do the job because they need it, they do the job because people need them. Do you see the distinction?
You see anyone running, dick-for-brains? You're not gonna love what happens next.
You remind me of him. Angry. Drunk. Mean. [...] Showed up when it mattered the most. Couldn't help it.
