Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) · 97 quotes
Paradox
I have been tasked with overseeing the end of your universe and, regardless of what the pencil-pushers upstairs would prefer, I will not waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. We used to just prune these things -- Simple. Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA doesn't like to do that anymore. Well, I do. And no matter what my so-called superiors say, the multiverse does not need a babysitter. We need a mercy killer. And in this instance, I am the mercy killer!
Paradox
I brought you here to offer you an opportunity -- the opportunity you sought years ago but for which you were not ready. We believe you're ready now. Ready for a chance to leave your timeline and join the greatest universe of all. I am about to give you the thing you always wanted.
Wade
Oh, I smell what you're stepping in. The power in the Marvel Universe is about to change forever. I am the Messiah. I. Am. Marvel Jesus.
Wade
Where do I sign?
Paradox
Oh, there's no need for paperwork.
Wade
Good! Not to brag, but I do not read.
Deadpool
You're gonna Old Yeller my **** universe?
Paradox
Mmm, in your parlance, yes. Two in the heart, one in the head.
Deadpool
One anchor being coming right up! On your left, babygirl! This Logan is the same -- he can do anything, even musicals, look! And bonus: He's actually wearing a costume like he's not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once.
Paradox
I don't understand.
Deadpool
You said my universe is dying because this sack of nuts got himself killed. Well, problem solved.
Paradox
My God. You think you can actually replace an anchor being? With this?! I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, bee-tee-dubs, but you have outdone yourself and brought me the WORST Wolverine!
Deadpool
What do you mean, the worst one?
Paradox
Mr. Wilson... this Wolverine let down his entire world. He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. And what he did... Well, some things are just beyond forgiveness.
Paradox
I warned them that they would be completely obliterated, but they went! But they went anyway, like... Like heroes. Because that's who they were. They just did what they had to do, with no concern for their own safety. The fact that we are all still standing here is a testament to their heroism! Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do to bring them back now.
Deadpool
:[offscreen, very much alive] He has risen, baby-girl!
Paradox
****!
