Deadpool & Wolverine 2024 quotes, page 3

I got to have a life because of you. I got to grow up because of you. A lot of kids did.

Wolverine

A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.

That suit says different.

Wolverine

You like it? Scott used to beg me to wear it. So did Jean, Storm, Beast. All of 'em. They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. Told 'em they all look ****in' ridiculous, and... I couldn't have 'em thinking I wanted to be there. And one day, while I was off on my own, the humans came and went mutant hunting.

I can guess the rest.

Wolverine

No, no, let... Let me say it. I, I need to say it. By the time I stumbled home, shitfaced from the bar, it was too late. They were dead, every... And this suit's all I've got to remind me of who they were. And what I did.

Logan

I walked away. They called after me, and I... I walked away. I always do.

Cassandra

I know. But that's not all you did, is it? You found them. The X-Men.

Logan

Dead. Piled like wood.

Cassandra

What did you do?

Logan

I started killing. And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop.

Cassandra

All those bad men...

Logan

It's not just the bad ones.

Cassandra

My little animal.

Logan

I turned the whole world against the X-Men. Just once, I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was.

Wade Winston Wilson, you are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority for too many crimes to list!

Hey! We fight each other, we lose.

Deadpool

Dear God, it's him.

Wolverine

Who?

Deadpool

The one. The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or molly. A white guy's answer to all the disappointments, and another A-Lister. [to the mysterious variant] Fair warning, gorgeous: You're gonna encounter some indelicate language, a smidge of assplay, but we've been prohibited from using cocaine. On camera.

They're coming.

Deadpool

Who's "they?" [sees a group of variants in vehicles approaching] Oh they're driving angry.

Deadpool

Now THAT'S a superhero landing!

I got this. [takes off his hood and reveals he is played by Chris Evans]

Stay close.

Deadpool

Aye aye, Captain. You got this.

Pyro

Cassandra is gonna be giddy when she sees what we caught. You can't run. Everybody knows that.

You see anyone running, dick-for-brains? [Deadpool looks at him in surprise] You're not gonna love what happens next.

Deadpool

Oh my God. Oh my God. He's gonna say it! Oh my God, he's gonna say it!

Wolverine

Say what?

Deadpool

AVENGERS...

FLAME ON!

Deadpool

I'm sorry, what now?

Wolverine

We don't know that guy.

Deadpool

We thought we did.

Paradox

I brought you here to offer you an opportunity -- the opportunity you sought years ago but for which you were not ready. We believe you're ready now. Ready for a chance to leave your timeline and join the greatest universe of all. I am about to give you the thing you always wanted.

Wade

Oh, I smell what you're stepping in. The power in the Marvel Universe is about to change forever. I am the Messiah. I. Am. Marvel Jesus.

Paradox

I have been tasked with overseeing the end of your universe and, regardless of what the pencil-pushers upstairs would prefer, I will not waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. We used to just prune these things -- Simple. Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA doesn't like to do that anymore. Well, I do. And no matter what my so-called superiors say, the multiverse does not need a babysitter. We need a mercy killer. And in this instance, I am the mercy killer!

Paradox

I warned them that they would be completely obliterated, but they went! But they went anyway, like... Like heroes. Because that's who they were. They just did what they had to do, with no concern for their own safety. The fact that we are all still standing here is a testament to their heroism! Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do to bring them back now.

Deadpool

:[offscreen, very much alive] He has risen, baby-girl!

Paradox

****!

We're human beings, we crave purpose. After all, we're Deadpool!

Wade

Please stop saying that; we're not Deadpool. I'm not even Deadpool anymore.

Well, if you're gonna have a mid-life crisis, go big! A few years ago, a friend of mine got his nipples pierced with a titanium chain that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson.

Pyro

Oh-ho-ho, you have no idea what it's like! Day after day, shovel the shit, "fetch the meats"! I have spent my entire exis--

Wolverine

Not everyone gets a speech.

Ready to die?!

Deadpool

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time! [to Logan, who has two katanas impaled through his chest and back, and a knife stuck in his shoulder] You look ridiculous! [he begins pulling them all out] People have waited decades for this fight. It's not gonna be easy. Baby knife! You shoot the double, you take him down. Side control. Then full mount, and ya ground and pound 'til he makes no sound because he's dead--

Wolverine

Shut the **** up.

Deadpool

Oh, my God... Okay, good luck! I'm a huge fan.

Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee... Baby, you never got back up. I know you're going through something, let me go through it with you.

You've been busy.

Wade

I did it for you. Even if you don't want me, I... I did it for you.

Wade

Birthdays -- boy, uh, every spin around the moon is a new adventure indeed.

Blind Al

Sun, dumbass!

Wade

Okay, round-earther! Where was I?

The adventure of life.

Wade

Right, um... it's been a challenging few years. Been through a lot -- a change of life.

Menopause?

Wade

Bitch, are you improv-ing?

Mm-mm.

I'm sorry.

Wade

I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio.

It's okay.

Wade

Yeah... But I'm happy. And, you know, that's be-- that's... because of each and every one of you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how proud I am, how grateful I am to be standing in a room with every single person I love. I'm the luckiest man alive.

Wade

I-- I care. I know I turn everything into a joke, but I care and I wanna use that feeling for something important. I-- I wanna matter. And to show my girl that I matter, and, um... Y'know, I feel like I'm wasting the good stuff here. Is the man not gonna be joining us?

"The man"?

Wade

Yeah. I should save this if he's gonna...

As far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man.

Wade

No.

The man is me. I am the man in this... circumstance. Eh, besi-- He doesn't do this kind of thing anymore.

Wade

Cameos?

Meetings.