Spencer Breslin movie quotes

View Quote Fish: Stop this right now!
Conrad: Who said that?
Fish: Me! Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then nothing.
Sally: The fish is talking.
Cat: Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.

View Quote Cat: [looking at a photo] Humina, humina, humina! Who is this?
Conrad: That's my mom.
[pause]
Cat: Awkward.

View Quote Joan: You are so lucky you didn't ruin this dress.
Conrad: Mom, I know you're angry, but there's something you need to know. This was all Sally's fault.

View Quote I thought you said you got her.

View Quote Kind of bad? Kind of? Oh, it's hopeless! Poor little Tinker Bell! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

View Quote [seeing octopus approaching, chasing Captain Hook] Abandon ship!

View Quote Lucy: Are you an elf?
Curtis: No, of course not. Why would you ask such a silly question?
Lucy: How come you have pointy ears?
Curtis: It's because I never ate my green vegetables. [leans closer] Do you eat your green vegetables?
Lucy: [feels her ears; worried] Uncle Scott!

View Quote Santa: That's weird, isn't it?
Puppets: Uh-oh!
Santa: These fit yesterday, didn't they?
Abby: Hot cocoa for you, Santa.
Bernard: This is not a good time, Abby.
Abby: I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
Santa: What's the bad news?
Abby: [smiling] What do you mean?
Santa: Whenever you play the designer bean card, generally, you have bad news. [Abby's smile fades, and he gives Santa the naughty-and-nice list] What are you doin' with the naughty-and-nice list?
Abby: Just don't shoot the messenger. [Santa opens the naughty-and-nice list] It's... Charlie.
Santa: Sheen? I thought he straightened out?
Abby: Not that Charlie.
Santa: My Charlie? My son, Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
Puppets: [shocked] AAAAAAH! [they hide]
Santa: This is-- There's gotta be a mistake.
Abby: We don't make mistakes. I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
Santa: How could this happen? Is this what you were trying to tell me?
Curtis: Great! You told him! Good! Let's get you dressed for that meeting.
Santa: I can't have the meeting here. I'm gonna have to see Charlie.
Bernard: Number two, tell him now.
Santa: Tell me what, guys? Come on. Come clean now.
Curtis: Santa, there's a clause.
Santa: Yeah, and that would be me.
Curtis: No, I mean there's another Santa clause.
Santa: Curtis, in case you haven't noticed, this time of year, the malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses".
Curtis: Yes, but there's another Santa clause. There was a first clause, but also a second clause.
Puppets: Get on with it!
Curtis: When the last Santa Claus fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this.
Santa: Right. "He who wears the coat takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus..." Something like that, and of course, the rest would be history, right?
Bernard: But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook, overlooked the single most important detail in the history of Christmas!
Curtis: Wow. One mistake in 900 years.
Bernard: Look.
Santa: I-I can't see that.
Bernard: Better now?
Santa: Uh...
Bernard: Or now?
Santa: Well...
Bernard: Better now?
Santa: It's gettin' there.
Bernard: Or now?
Santa: I can't see anything. [Bernard flips a big magnifying glass up] I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay. Well, uh, "The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing. True Love... Not valid in," uh, "state of Utah. Holy...Matrimony"?! I gotta get married!
Bernard: Yes, It's...the Mrs. Clause.
[the puppets hum "The Wedding March".]
Santa: What if I don't want to get married? [he starts getting thinner]
Curtis: Oh, dear. The de-Santification process has begun!
Santa: The de-Santification? Are you telling me that clause says if I don't get married... I don't get to be Santa any more? [worried] Wh-- What about the kids? W-- What about the elves? What a-- What about you guys?
Bernard: It's not completely hopeless, sir. You still have time to find a wife.
Santa: Right. Well, how much time do I have, Curtis?
Curtis: 28 days.
Santa: 28 days. So I've gotta find a wife by Christmas.
Curtis: Actually, Christmas Eve.
Santa: I guess it's over.
Curtis: No! You can't think that way! Please, don't give up hope. 'Cause if you do... then we have to. [the puppets sigh sadly. Suddenly, Santa's beard shrinks, and the puppets shout in shock.] [surprised] Whoa.
Santa: Christmas is getting very complicated.

View Quote Bernard: OK, Chet. This is it. You ready to rock and roll?
Carol: Chet?
Bernard: Yeah. He's still in training.
Scott: How much flight time has he had?
Bernard: About a minute and a half.
Curtis: Yeah but he's had a lotta crash time.
Scott: Curtis.
Curtis: He's just a baby.

View Quote [Carol is being rushed down the hallway on a gurney]
Scott: BABY CLAUS IS ON THE WAY! Ladies, keep up! Please, hot water and hot ointments. You, think sugar plums. Do not panic! Do not panic! Curtis, the baby's coming!
Curtis: Cocoa, the baby's coming!
Cocoa: Mrs Claus, the baby's coming!
Carol: I KNOW!!!

View Quote Curtis: Sir! Sir!
Scott: Curtis, stop. If you're gonna tell me that your entire facility is ruin and Christmas is tomorrow and for the first time in history, all the kids in the world won't get their gifts because I failed them, stop it! I can't handle one more piece of bad news.
Curtis: Well, then, good news, sir.
Scott: What?
Curtis: Your pants is on fire.

View Quote Scott: [having an idea] Hahaha-hohohoho! The answer is in the question. "How are we going to do this? My Dad thinks you're a toymaker in Canada."
Curtis: [confused] Canada?
Scott: Canada. It's north, in North America, eh? Vinegar on their French fries, they sit on their chesterfield to watch the hockey game. Shoot the puck, daddy-o! Come on, everybody! Elves, everybody listen up! Grab your hammers, the in-laws are coming!

View Quote Dave: (as a dog) Here. This is what you love because if you keep playing football, you're gonna get hurt.
Josh: Thanks, Dad.
Dave: (as a dog) Here's something else.
(Dave shows a Math book)
Josh: I know, I know.
Dave: (as a dog) Deal?
Josh: It's a deal.

View Quote Carly: Shaggy, would you stop making such a... That's impossible.
(The message read "I am Dad".)
Dave: (as a dog) Finally.
Josh: How?
(Dave scramble the letters to make a word: Grand and Strictland)
Josh: Grant and Strictland?
Dave: (as a dog) Yes.
Carly: Well, Mr. Forrester said that they were making mutant animals. That's when I found Shaggy but Shaggy bit Dad. Oh, Daddy!
Dave: (as a dog) It's okay, kiddo. It's okay.
Carly: I'm sorry this is all my fault. Could you please forgive me?
Dave: (as a dog) There's nothing to forgive.

View Quote Tracy: Football? That's why you're not trying out? You hate football!
Josh: I know, but my dad loves. You should hear him. "Oh, you're gonna be just like your own man." If I told him I want to do musical instead, he'll like rape me off as a son.
Tracy: Josh, is your father a stupid man?
Josh: He is clueless, which in some ways is better.
Dave: (as a dog) Oh boy.
Josh: See, he told me I can play if I only keep my grades so I start flunking Math but he let me off with a warning. So now, I gotta flunk English, History, and Home Ec. Those are not really hard to fail.
Dave: (as a dog) Oh no, Josh...
Tracy: So you rather wreck your future than tell your dad you hate football.
Josh: I can get my grades back up as long as he givrs me qutting time.
Tracy: Wow. Men are so complicated.
(Tracy leaves)
Dave: How did I let this happened? I'm not a father anymore.
Judge Whittaker:You Get Over Here Dont You Dare Turn My Courtroom Into A Barn

View Quote [Helen lights a cigarette] It's going to be hard to take care of us if you're dead, too.