That's weird, isn't it?
Uh-oh!
These fit yesterday, didn't they?
Hot cocoa for you, Santa.
This is not a good time, Abby.
I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
What's the bad news?
[smiling]
What do you mean?
Whenever you play the designer bean card, generally, you have bad news. [Abby's smile fades, and he gives Santa the naughty-and-nice list] What are you doin' with the naughty-and-nice list?
Just don't shoot the messenger. [Santa opens the naughty-and-nice list] It's... Charlie.
Sheen? I thought he straightened out?
Not that Charlie.
My Charlie? My son, Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
[shocked]
AAAAAAH! [they hide]
This is-- There's gotta be a mistake.
We don't make mistakes. I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
How could this happen? Is this what you were trying to tell me?
Great! You told him! Good! Let's get you dressed for that meeting.
I can't have the meeting here. I'm gonna have to see Charlie.
Number two, tell him now.
Tell me what, guys? Come on. Come clean now.
Santa, there's a clause.
Yeah, and that would be me.
No, I mean there's another Santa clause.
Curtis, in case you haven't noticed, this time of year, the malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses".
Yes, but there's another Santa clause. There was a first clause, but also a second clause.
Get on with it!
When the last Santa Claus fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this.
Right. "He who wears the coat takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus..." Something like that, and of course, the rest would be history, right?
But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook, overlooked the single most important detail in the history of Christmas!
Wow. One mistake in 900 years.
Look.
I-I can't see that.
Better now?
Uh...
Or now?
Well...
Better now?
It's gettin' there.
Or now?
I can't see anything. [Bernard flips a big magnifying glass up] I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay. Well, uh, "The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing. True Love... Not valid in," uh, "state of Utah. Holy...Matrimony"?! I gotta get married!
Yes, It's...the Mrs. Clause.
[the puppets hum "The Wedding March".]
What if I don't want to get married? [he starts getting thinner]
Oh, dear. The de-Santification process has begun!
The de-Santification? Are you telling me that clause says if I don't get married... I don't get to be Santa any more? [worried] Wh-- What about the kids? W-- What about the elves? What a-- What about you guys?
It's not completely hopeless, sir. You still have time to find a wife.
Right. Well, how much time do I have, Curtis?
28 days.
28 days. So I've gotta find a wife by Christmas.
Actually, Christmas Eve.
I guess it's over.
No! You can't think that way! Please, don't give up hope. 'Cause if you do... then we have to. [the puppets sigh sadly. Suddenly, Santa's beard shrinks, and the puppets shout in shock.] [surprised] Whoa.
Christmas is getting very complicated.
