Carol Well, maybe if you spent more time with your son, there would be fewer problems.
Maybe, but then I wouldn't get to spend more time with you. It's always such a pleasure.
Carol Oh, a battle of wits. It's a shame that you came unarmed. Excuse me.
P Picardo
[stopped by Carol Newman]
Good morning, Principal Newman.
Carol Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
P Picardo
It's dark... and it's cold.
Carol It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up, and you will spend the rest of your life stabbing trash by the highway. Do I make myself clear?
Carol So, what are you going to do?
P Picardo
I'm going straight to 3rd-period geometry.
Carol Have a nice trip.
You know this, Number One. Its Christmas. I've got to deliver gifts.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Carol Excuse me?
Carol, I... I cannot continue being Santa...unless I find a Mrs. Claus.
Carol Oh. So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing...You just needed to find a wife.
Carol No?
Carol Yes?
Yes, I was looking for a wife. No, I didn't figure on falling... in love.
Carol You love me? This is all happening so fast.
Well, there's no pressure.
Carol Good.
I just won't deliver the gifts and children everywhere will stop believing, the elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear and Christmas will be gone.
A Abby
Get down on one knee.
A Abby
Do it. Now. Say "Carol."
Carol Uh-huh? Yeah?
A Abby
You say this is happening all so fast.
You say this is happening all so fast.
A Abby
But you've known me your whole life.
But you've known me your whole life.
A Abby
When you were little and alone...
When you were little and alone...
[to Abby]
I can take it from here. [to Carol] Santa was always there for you. And I will be, as long as you continue to believe in me. I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home, but I can guarantee you that this is worth it. This place... This place is all about magic and love... and wonder. And occasionally, a thin-crust pizza and a movie and a long winter night.
Carol Is there a school here?
Yeah, we have one, a school, the elves need a new principal. Cause as of late some of the elves have been acting a bit impish. Carol, I love you.
Carol You do?
Carol Thank you. I've got it from here. I will.
L Laura
Hey! You trimmed your beard.
NM Neil Miller
Come here, big guy. [hugs Scott; chuckles] Whoa, you lost some weight there, huh? Slim-Fast?
L Laura
We should get going.
L Laura
Okay? How do you always know when there's a problem?
Well, I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake.
N Neil
Which is a pretty frightening concept, when you think about it.
L Laura
You know, Scott, we're really worried about Charlie. He keeps upping the ante. This time, he defaced school property.
N Neil
It's a classic case of acting out.
I'm blaming myself for this.
L Laura
Oh, come on, now. We're both his parents.
L Laura
He's waiting for us in Principal Newman's office.
Principal Newman. There's something about that woman that makes me want to deface public property. [chuckling] He-he-hey!
Carol Hello, Mr. Calvin. Laura, Neil.
LA Laura and Neil
Miss Newman.
Carol Yeah, I haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble.
Well, I've been travelling for work, you know?
Carol Well, maybe if you spent more time with your son, there would be fewer problems.
Maybe, but then I wouldn't get to spend more time with you, which is always such a pleasure.
Carol Oh, a battle of wits. It's a shame that you came unarmed. Excuse me.
P Picardo
[stopped by Carol]
Good mornin', Principal Newman.
Carol [confiscates Picardo's skateboard]
Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
P Picardo
It's dark. And it's cold.
Carol It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up, and you will spend the rest of your life stabbing trash by the highway. Do I make myself clear?
Carol So, what are you gonna do?
P Picardo
I'm going straight to 3rd-period geometry.
Carol Have a nice trip. [Picardo walks away]
Carol [in her office]
Not only is it an affront to authority, but a blatant disrespect for property. My feeling is if this sort of thing continues, I'll have no other recourse than to suspend--
Excuse me, excuse me. Is there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture? Because I'm more interested in why this happened in the first place.
Carol So am I. Charlie, we're all worried about you. It feels to me like you're trying to get someone's attention. What's bothering you? [Charlie shrugs] Dr. Miller?
Carol Neil. Uh, do you have any theories?
N Neil
Well, frankly, I have several.
Here we go. Let's just order a pizza.
L Laura
Scott, you're not helping. [Scott sits down and groans]
N Neil
I was listening to a new tape series on child development just last night.
[hits his head on the file drawers]
Y-Y-You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil. It's four weeks until Christmas. That's a major holiday in December.
Carol Oh.
Have you noticed the hallways in this school? There's not a decoration, not a twinkle light, not an expression of the happiness and joy that kids are supposed to be feeling this time of year. I mean, what kind of school are you running?
Carol A public school, Mr. Calvin, the top-rated academically public school in the district. That takes a lot of effort. And money. And spending any of that money on holiday decorations would take away from the things that truly matter.
Forgive me, but I think holiday cheer really matters.
L Laura
Hey, what are we going to do? Charlie, we're all really worried--
Laura, let me handle this. Charlie, you know what you did is wrong, right?
[carelessly/nonchalantly]
I guess so.
There's no guessing. The guessing-- Guessing is gone. It was wrong, what you did, and you're not gonna do it again. Promise me.
There you go. He's good to his word, he won't do it again. Meeting is adjourned.
Carol It most certainly is not! Charlie?
You know what else? Here's a little donation. Why don't you buy yourself a wreath?
PO Police Officer
[Charlie is getting chased by a police officer] [grabs walkie-talkie microphone attachment]
He's heading east toward the main entrance!
Carol [Charlie tries to run away, only to run into Carol Newman] [sternly]
Hello, Charlie.
[scared]
Hello, Principal Newman.
Carol [school bell rings]
Are Laura and Neil on their way?
No, I volunteered to go solo on this one.
Carol Oh, y-you look-- You've really lost weight. Are you feeling all right?
I was until I got this phone call. [sees graffitied lockers with Carol Newman saying, "Trim a tree, go to jail!"] Charlie, you promised that you weren't gonna do this again. Now you've broken a promise. What's the matter with you, Charlie? I'm gonna have to punish you. I'll ground him for two months.
I thought you were on my side!
How can I be on your side when--
Carol I'm gonna do one better, Charlie. You're suspended.
Hold on a second. I'm just as upset about this as you, but isn't there another way that we can punish him that doesn't involve taking him out of school?
Carol What did you have in mind?
We could-- [stammering] Community service?
Carol Huh, that's not a bad idea. Okay, Charlie. I want you to start by cleaning off this wall. I want everything, everything, off of there by tonight. And then, for the rest of the week, you can clean off every mark off of every locker in this hallway.
[sternly]
Do as she says, Charlie.
But I-I have homework, tests to study for.
Carol It's not my problem. I have a detention group that meets on Saturday, so we will all get together at the Sullivan Rec Center, and scrape off the graffiti at 8:00 A.M. See you both there.
You say both of us? [chuckles] I-- I'm very busy. I do a lot of other community service.
Carol That's good. You just got yourself elected parent rep. [to Charlie] And Charlie, we'll talk about the suspension.
