Hugh Grant movie quotes

View Quote Would you like something to eat? Something to nibble? Apricots, soaked in honey? Quite why, no one knows, because it stops them tasting like apricots and makes them taste like honey... and if you wanted honey, you could just... buy honey. Instead of apricots. But nevertheless they're yours if you want them.

View Quote [after hitting his shin on a fence while climbing over it] Now what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile? [Anna kisses him] Nice garden.

View Quote It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again.

View Quote In my opinion, all men are islands. And what's more, now's the time to be one. This is an island age.

View Quote [Regarding the first SPAT meeting] I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife.

View Quote [In the supermarket, his father's song begins to play] Shit! It can't be. November-the-sodding-19. Six weeks before Christmas and already they were playing the bloody thing.

View Quote I’m talking to you about iterations. I need you to have a very basic understanding of iterating, because I’m going to make a very disturbing claim tonight. It will make your stomachs sink a little and your hearts beat faster. It will make you sick. It may even… I’m very sorry… make you want to… to die.

View Quote You will witness a miracle.

View Quote Mr. Reed: Why would you do that?
Sister Paxton: Because I want to know the truth, and because the only way out is through.
Mr. Reed: Robert Frost?
Sister Paxton: Swamp Thing.

View Quote I think the time has come for me to introduce you to our queen. A Cockney Cleopatra to Mickey's cowboy Caesar. The only weak link, in his otherwise impregnable armor, is his devotion, his passion, some would say his obsession, with his beauteous lady wife.

View Quote He wants to ruin him, but I am here to do you a favor. And it's not like you're not getting something for your money. You could even turn that script into a feature film, Raymond. We could make it together. We could be partners. I have learned off you lot. You got to look after number one, and now it's my turn. The sun is not going up for me, Ray. It's going down.

View Quote Ray: [Fletcher puts a cigar in his mouth] If you're thinking of smoking that in here... don't.
Fletcher: I find that confusing. Do you mean don't smoke or don't think? [clicks lighter and Ray jumps out of his seat] Oh... [Ray motions towards Fletcher] Oh, all right, all right, it's going out!

View Quote Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat...

View Quote And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat Dracula.

View Quote Fire those long things that go bang!

View Quote [about Kira as she leaves the room] Give her time. She's had years to resent you for your absence.

View Quote Now I'm in a pickle, because...I don't want to see you die. Which is why...I'm gonna leave the room.

View Quote What a profound joy it is to welcome you, the good people of Neverwinter, to the resumption of the High Sun Games! [crowd cheers] I guarantee that you are in for the most riveting spectacle on all the Sword Coast. The rules are very simple: 5 harrowing challenges, 5 teams of champions. Whoever survives to reach the Cage of Sanctuary moves on to the next stage. One thing: I do urge you, please do not leave the arena till the close of the Games, as there will be a wonderful gift for each and every one of you! [crowd cheers again, he looks down] Alright, take me down. This is absurdly high. It's not what we discussed.

View Quote Your mother is terrifying. I thought she was going to cut me up and feed me to the poor.

View Quote I can't believe how small this apartment is, it's actually shocking! It's a very good thing your parents went to the movies, we'd never have squeezed in! You realize, I can actually move from one side of this apartment to the other in 6 seconds. Watch this, 1....

View Quote Lucy: What did I tell you that defines an emergency?
George: A large meteoroid, severe blood loss and uh... what was the other thing?
Lucy: Death! And you're not dead!

View Quote having just seen Carrie at his own wedding
Dear Lord, forgive me for what I am about to, ah, say in this magnificent place of worship... Bugger! Bugger! Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!

View Quote Carrie asks Charles's opinion on her wedding dress
It is dangerous! You know, there's nothing more off-putting in a wedding than a priest with an enormous erection, yech!

View Quote Another wedding invitation. And a list. Lovely.

View Quote Fanny: They're all exceedingly spoiled, I find. Miss Margaret spends all her time up trees and under furniture, and I've barely had a civil word from Marianne.
Edward: My dear Fanny, they've just lost their father. Their lives will never be the same again.
Fanny: That is no excuse.

View Quote Edward: Your friendship has been the most important of my life.
Elinor: You will always have it.

View Quote Elinor: Margaret has always wanted to travel.
Edward: I know, she's heading an expedition to China shortly. I am to go as her servant, but only on the understanding that I will be very badly treated.

View Quote Betty: There's nothing very special about me. I'm the kind of girl you usually don't notice: I scuttle in with a tray of tea, bow my head, and scuttle out.
Anson: I'd notice.
Betty: No, you wouldn't. Not usually.

View Quote Anson: Um, I'm not sure that I can rely on Mr. Garrad. But, um, the thing is, I-I will need an assistant. I, uh-- you wouldn't, um?
Betty: Me?
Anson: Well, why not?
Betty: Well... I've never been to Abyssinia!
Anson: Heh.
Betty: Or Aden, or Sevastopol. And I can't speak with a posh accent for long.
Anson: Well, I-I-I-I think we can get over that.
Betty: I'm just a maidservant!
Anson: Well, I-I don't think the word just could apply to you about anything.
Betty: Was that a compliment?
Anson: Yes. Yes. Now, n-now I'm going to blush, so, um, would you help me... please?
Betty: Since you said please. And you're blushing!
Anson: Ohh.
Betty: Yes, I will.
Anson: Good. Then, um, prepare the engineer's transit.
Betty: What?
Anson: I'll show you.

View Quote [Anson and Garrad have explained they must go and calculate the height.]
Thomas Twp Too: And how d'you know later?
Anson: Well, w-we've made, um, we've made measurements with those two hills, and w-we already know the height of Newton Beacon and Whitchurch Hill...
Thomas Twp: But how were they measured?
Anson: The same way, by comparing them with other hills.
Thomas Twp Too: But who measured the first hill?
Rev. Robert Jones: [whispering] God. God, my boy. God.

View Quote We're rich again.

View Quote Exit bear, pursued by an actor... ugh!

View Quote Phoenix Buchanan: They do say that at Madame Kozlova's all your dreams come true. So, if you had one wish tonight what would it be?
Paddington: Oh that's easy. I'd like to get my Aunt Lucy a birthday present.
Crowd: Awwwwww!