Will
In my opinion, all men are islands. And what's more, now's the time to be one. This is an island age.
Played by Hugh Grant 
About a Boy (2002) · 43 quotes
About a Boy (2002) · 43 quotes
Shit! It can't be. November-the-sodding-19. Six weeks before Christmas and already they were playing the bloody thing.
More lines from Will
14 quotes Will
Will
[voiceover]
She couldn't stay at my place, and she didn't have a DVD, or satellite or cable. So we were always stuck watching some crap made-for-TV movie about a kid with leukemia. I was going to have to end it. But having been Will the Good Guy I didn't relish going back to my role of Will the Unreliable, Emotionally-stunted Arsehole.
Will
[Regarding the first SPAT meeting]
I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife.
Will
It was horrible. Horrible. But driving fast behind the ambulance was fantastic.
Will
The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me, and me alone. If Marcus' mum couldn't manage her own show if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem. Ultimately, the whole single-mum plot line was a bit complicated for me.
Will
I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully dishevelled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up, and I often wonder, to be absolutely honest, if I'd ever have time for a job; how do people cram them in?
Will
Me, I didn't mean anything. About anything, to anyone. I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.
Will
I'm a bloody island! I'm bloody Ibiza!
Will
No, Marcus, I do not want to come over for Christmas. I do not want to spend Christmas with Ms. Granola Suicide and her spawn.
Will
Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Will
My life is made up of units of time. Buying CDs – two units. Eating lunch – three units. Exercising – two units. All in all, I had a very full life. It's just that it didn't mean anything.
Will
The crying in the morning thing, the depression. Let's get that fixed.
Will
So there I was, killing them softly with my song. Or rather, being killed. And not that softly, either. I was singing with my eyes closed. Was I frightened? I was petrified.
Will
[Thinking]
Every man is an island. And I stand by that. But clearly, some men are part of island chains. Below the surface of the ocean they're actually connected.
Scenes with Will
12 scenes Will
You must be joking. I couldn't possibly think of a worse godfather for Imogene. You know me. I'll drop her at her christening. I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th, when I'll take her out and get her drunk and possibly, let's face it, you know, try and shag her. I mean, seriously, it's a very, very bad choice.
Christine
We know, I just thought you had hidden depths.
Will
No. No. You've always had that wrong. I really am this shallow.
Suzie
May I ask, does your ex see Ned at all?
Will
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Suzie
Suzie.
Will
Suzie. She doesn't see much of him, no.
Suzie
How does he cope with that?
Will
He's a very good little boy. Very, very brave. They've got amazing resources, don't they? Just the other day I was thinking about my ex. He came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms around my neck, and he said: "You hang in there, Dad."
Suzie
God, that's amazing for a 2-year-old!
Will
Is it? Yeah, he's very special. Very, very special. Sometimes I think, you know, he's the one taking care of me. Teaching me the ways of the world.
Suzie
You miss him, don't you?
Will
Who? Oh, Ned! Yeah. Yeah, very much.
Marcus
I'll come if you take my mom, too. She hasn't got any money, so either we'll have to go somewhere cheap, or you'll have to treat us.
Will
Well, listen, don't beat about the bush, Marcus.
Marcus
Why should I? We're poor, you're rich, you pay. You can bring your little boy if you like. I don't mind.
Will
That's really big of you.
Marcus
[voiceover]
If Mum was going to get Will to marry her, she'd have to quit making jokes. At least she looked good. I had her put on that nice hairy jumper and the earrings she got from her friend that went to Zimbabwe.
Will
[voiceover]
The kid seemed to think this was a date. As for his mum, she was clearly insane and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume.
Christine
You will end up childless and alone.
Will
Well, fingers crossed, yeah.
Will
It's a CD, Marcus, by Mystikal. They're cool. You'll like them.
Fiona
What kind of music is Mystikal?
Will
It's sort of, um, world music . . .
Marcus
[reads a song title]
"Shake Ya Ass."
Will
...Slash rap-type thing.
Will
I want to go out with her, OK. I'd like her to be my girlfriend, here I said it.
Marcus
How brilliant!
Fiona
You cannot stop someone from expressing themselves.
Will
He's not expressing himself! He's expressing you, okay?
Fiona
[Fiona is crying]
Will, am I a bad mother?
Will
No. No, you're not a bad mother. You're just a barking lunatic.
Fiona
[Fiona is crying]
I mean, he's a special – very, very special boy and he's got a special soul, and I've wounded it.
Will
Oh, please, just shut up. You're wounding my soul.
Marcus
I used to want Will to marry my mom.
Ali
You serious?
Marcus
Yeah, but that was when she was depressed and I was desperate.
Will
Thanks, mate.
