Brown
What am I guilty of?
Being a ****, Brown. Being a ****.
Mickey Pearson
Tom Lambert · 15 quotes
Raymond "Ray" Smith
Charlie Hunnam · 15 quotes
Fletcher
Hugh Grant · 12 quotes
Rosalind Pearson
Michelle Dockery · 7 quotes
Coach
Colin Farrell · 5 quotes
Dry Eye
Henry Golding · 4 quotes
Michael Pearson
Matthew McConaughey · 4 quotes
Ernie
Bugzy Malone · 3 quotes
Matthew Berger
Jeremy Strong · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Fletcher & Raymond "Ray" Smith (8), Mickey Pearson & Rosalind Pearson (5), Ernie & Coach (3)
The Gentlemen quotes
Page 1 of 4Ernie, what is it?
The ball's in the back of the net. We've rung the bell 'ere, and we're gonna include you, 'coz you're our mentor.
I don't know what you're talkin' about, but I don't like the sound of it.
We've landed a load of sticky bush.
Listen to me now Ernie... walk away.
It's too late, we're at the gym now, unloading the van.
You took my van? Wait there... I'll be back in ten minutes.
Ernie. Did you get that Chinese fella's name?
Phuc.
What?
Phuc. Like ****, with a p-h.
Don't get street with me, Ernie. Where does he live?
The posh part of Croydon.
Drop the rope. There is no posh part of Croydon.
It's comparative, innit?
Why does it smell of wee in here?
Kid
Who the **** is this joke, man?
Don't stand near me son. You've got your mouthwash muddled up with cat piss. Now take two steps back, and wait your turn.
Trigger
Better **** off old man, or I'll wet ya.
The only thing you can wet is your underpants son. Now, back two steps.
I understand you're getting out.
Getting out. Getting out of what? Bed? My head? The closet? Don't flirt with me, Dry Eye. I'm a busy man.
I hear you're getting out of the game. And I would like you to consider an offer.
Look, I'm going to stop you right there, so you don't waste any more of your precious breath, young man. This is not a discussion for the two of us. Unlike the salt and pepper, it's not on the table. I am not for sale. And even if I was, you're several zeros short. Now, you may be able to buy your man's sausage for that, but to me it just looks rude at breakfast.
You're out of touch. You're forgetting the laws of the jungle, looking down on me. Now, when the silverback's got more silver than back, he best move on before he gets moved on. It's not dignified. It's beneath you, Michael. Trying to do you a favor. This is a big **** number. [pause]
And this? Well, this is a big **** gun. [shoots Dry Eye from under the table] Eyes not so dry now, are they? Hurts, does it? You looking for your balls, or a hole in the wall?
Where the **** do you think you're going? Because you're not going out the way you came in, you deluded duck-eating ****! Talking to me about the laws of the jungle. What was it? Something about being beneath me? Silver on back? There's only one rule in this **** jungle! When the lion's hungry, he eats! [shoots Dry Eye]
Did he just call me a black ****?
Yes, he did.
He can't do that. That's racist.
But you are black and you are a ****, Ernie. Those are the facts. I don't think Primetime cares what race you run in.
The fact that I'm black has nothing to do with the fact I'm a ****.
He didn't say black people were ****s, Ernie. He was being specific to you. One has nothing to do with the other. And I'd go a step further and say it was a term of affection.
Primetime's a Gypsy. I wouldn't call him a pikey ****.
Why not? He might be very understanding. Only if it comes from a place of love, of course.
And this, my love, is why I want my hard-earned 20 million pounds. Because not only do I know exactly how Mickey's business operates, but I also know that the very man he's trying to sell it to is trying to force him into selling it on the cheap and has indirectly started a war. So, you see, I think you should be calling me your trusted consigliere, or your spy behind the lines, your intellectual reconnaissance, if you prefer.
I'm impressed. You certainly know more than I do. I'm impressed not only by your information, but by your imagination.
Thank you very much. So you've got 72 hours. And I would just reiterate that if anything happens to me, I do have my insurance policy in place. Everything will go to Big Dave, and from him to the public, and you, my love, will go to Mars. So, strong recommendation, just pay up and watch me recede into the sunset blowing kisses, yes?
Well, then, time to use the door, you black bastard.
Well, that's just silly, isn't it, 'cause I'm not black.
No, but your **** soul is, you dark ****. Now, out of my house, 'cause I'm going to bed.
Can I come with you?
No, but you can go smoke the exhaust pipe in the back of your hearse.
I might come anyway. You'll just hear me scratching about in the dark, wanking into a hanky.
Can I come with you?
No, but you can go smoke the exhaust pipe in the back of your hearse.
I might come anyway. You'll just hear me scratching about in the dark, wanking into a hanky.
He explodes on the scene like a millennial **** firecracker. Bang, bang, bang, bang!
I'm going to have to stop you right there, Fletcher. That doesn't sound like the Dry Eye I know.
Just making sure you're paying attention, Raymond. So let's cut instead to a somewhat anticlimactic, but suave and debonair Dry Eye, like a Chinese James Bond.
Play a game with me, Ray.
No.
Oh, please.
I said no.
Play a **** game with me, Ray.
...right.
How does anyone grow fifty tons of super skunk without letting anyone else know how they do it?
I'm flattered to hear that from you, Matthew. I imagine that big brain of yours is sweating a stream of tears just trying to figure it out.
Brilliance should be acknowledged
No sooner do I entertain Matthew's offer to buy me out and reject Dry Eye's offer does one of my farms get raided.
First time ever.
Doesn't feel like a coincidence, does it?
It isn't. There's ****ery afoot.
Barman
Boss?
I'll have a pint and a pickled egg.
Barman
Coming straigt up.
I like middle age. I like gentrification, private schools, fine wines, and a spoonful of caviar to help my medicine go down. But most importantly, I'm looking forward to spending more time with you.
Of course you are.
It's the new gold rush. This is the thin end of a very fat wedge, sir.
If it's such a fat wedge, why don't you keep it?
You see, I've developed a reputation as a man who came up the hard way. You could say that there's blood on these pretty white hands. But in the new business, once legal and under the jurisdiction of the respectable umbrella of ministerial legitimacy, an enterprise like this will need a face with a clean past, which sadly I do not possess. Retirement doesn't sound so bad. Long walks in the countryside, pruning roses with my better half, raising some cubs. I've earned it.